How do you find career success & happiness?THere’s only one way.
You need to be ready to walk away.
I’ve talked about this topic before. A LOT. I’ve talked about how your core values and your career need to be in alignment if you want career (and life) success and happiness.
But why? Because your values need to be your non-negotiables.
These are non-negotiables because these are things that if your career (and therefore your life) aren’t honoring … it’s time to walk away. It’s time to look elsewhere.
That’s what a non-negotiable is right? Something that if it isn’t being met - you walk away from the table.
For every client I work with, this is the first exercise we tackle. We do nothing before this and the rest of our work is based on this. It’s that important.
Ok great. You know your values/priorities/non-negotiables are crazy important - but how do you even begin to define them? How do you figure out what your core values are?
Step 1:
You begin by writing out a list of anything and everything you find truly important. Anything you consider a ‘value’ or a priority in your life as you understand it right now. Today. And I do mean today.
These things you hold important in your life can’t be based on things you thought were important 10 years ago, or what you believe you think you’ll find important 10 years from now. And definitely not what you think your friends, family, culture, or partner believe you should consider a core value. This has to come from you.
Create a list of anything/everything you hold dear. The list can have anywhere from 10 to 100 items. It doesn’t matter. Just go for getting them all out on paper.
Step 2:
Like group things together. Most likely many of the things you’ve listed out separately are really the same thing.
For instance, if you’ve got ‘family,’ ‘friends’ and ‘partner’ on your list - all three can be lumped together under the single value of ‘loved-ones.’ ‘Money,’ ‘A good job,’ and ‘a house’ are all actually ‘security.’
Once you have your list narrowed down - choose 4 or 5 values that are absolute 100% “musts” - these are your non-negotiables. The things that have to happen in your life for you to be happy. For you to be fulfilled. For your life to have meaning.
These are the base foundations of who you are as a person.
These are the things that you need in your career to support and to be supported by your career. It’s a two-way street. If something in your career is in opposition to one of these - it’s time to look elsewhere.
Which brings us to:
Step 3:
Once you’ve got your values defined - compare your non-negotiables to the current state of your career. Does it line up? Is it supported by your values? Is it supporting your priorities?
If it isn’t, that’s most likely the source of your dissatisfaction with your career. It might be the reason you’re not moving ahead or unhappy in your position or feeling that you’re not ‘following your passion.’
If one of your non-negotiables is ‘time with family’ but your career ensures that you’ll always be working a 95-hour workweek - those are in opposition and it may be time to consider a new path because with such direct opposition to your core values - you can never truly achieve the life success and happiness you desire. It goes against who you are as a person.
If something is in opposition to who you are as a person - even if you’re getting a FAT paycheck - you will never truly be fulfilled or happy.
However, when your values and career are aligned - success and happiness become not something you constantly have to fight for, but a given. It becomes something that comes to you easily. It is no longer a daily struggle.
Each person’s values will be different. Do not censor yourself. Do not judge yourself. If, in this exercise, you discover that money (just cold, hard, cash) is a thing you are prioritizing - that is 100% acceptable.
You have nobody to answer to but yourself. Now that money may have other meanings attached to it (like freedom, comfort, or security) but you understand what the shorthand ‘money’ means to you…. That’s fine.
You do not owe anyone any explanation for ANY of your core values. These are yours alone.
You don’t need to (nor should you) fill this out as if your pastor, grandma, or ex-boyfriend - the one who’s in Doctors Without Borders - is looking over your shoulder. This is for you. These are your personal priorities. Your wants. Your needs.
Whatever they are - you need to honor them or you will never be happy. If you’re working off someone else’s list of what is considered culturally or societally appropriate values you will never find the fulfillment and meaning you're looking for.
You need to be honest with yourself and go at this completely without judgment. You need to be true to yourself.
If you’d like some help completing this exercise click here for your free copy of a very helpful workbook.
If you’d like help working one on one with this (or working through your next steps after you’ve defined your values) book a free consult call with me HERE.
I’d love to know any AH-HA’s you took away from this exercise so shoot me an email at ebs@ebsanders.com! I really want to know - what are YOUR non-negotiables?
Yours in career goodness,
EBS
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EB Sanders
Career Coach for Creative Types
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Helping you figure out what you want to do and how to do it your way!
