The Foundation for Career Success: Why You Can't Do It Alone and What to Focus on Instead

I have a question for you: What if you do nothing?

Here's a sobering thought: According to a recent Gallup poll, only 49% of people are happy in their careers. Read that again. Only 49%. That means more than half of working professionals are dissatisfied with their work.

You deserve better than that coin-flip level of career satisfaction.

The reality is, many people never take the time to learn how to figure out what work actually works for them. They don't build their network, they don't grow their income, and they certainly don't design their careers intentionally. They let their careers happen to them rather than actively creating them.

So let me ask you: What are you doing right now, tomorrow, or this week to find the career success and happiness you want? Are you on your way to reaching your goals, or are you stuck even clarifying what those goals are in the first place?

If you're feeling lost, confused, or stuck, this comprehensive guide will show you the foundational work you need to do to create career success and why you absolutely cannot do it alone.

The Myth of Being "Self-Made" (And Why It's Holding You Back)

Let me address something that's been bothering me for a while now: this concept going around the socials touting being "self-made." All inspirational and yelling "I'M SELF-MADE!!!"

I call bullshit.

Nobody is self-made. I don't care who you are or what you've accomplished… you cannot do it alone. Sure, you can do (and have done) amazing things. But nobody can do it ALL alone. It's literally impossible.

If you're looking to make a job switch, if you want to change careers, if you need a new job, if you want to start your own business, you hafta have help. You gotta have partners, or a posse, or mentors, or supporters, or yes, even puppies who provide emotional support during the hard times.

Maybe you think you're doing a lot of things on your own, but look closer. Maybe your motivation is that you're doing it for someone else:

• You're a single mom doing it for your kids

• You're a parent supporting a family

• You're a big sibling who wants to show your younger siblings that anything is possible

• You're a spouse who wants to contribute equally to the household

• You're a friend who makes people happy with your creations

• You're a child who wants to make your parents proud

• You're someone who wants to prove something to yourself

Whatever it is, whoever it is for, you are not doing anything alone. You're not in a vacuum. You're not on a deserted island surviving purely on your own merit.

You need people. We all need people.

Those people can be your coworkers, your customers, the barista who makes your daily coffee just right, the friend who proofreads your cover letters at midnight, the parent who believes in you when you don't believe in yourself, the designer who helped you out on that crucial project, that college buddy who meets you for happy hour when you need to vent about your terrible boss.

You need a support system. And you ARE a support system for others.

So go ahead and ask for the help you need. Offer help when you can. Thank the people in your life who make your success possible. Acknowledging that you're interconnected with others doesn't diminish your accomplishments; it makes them more meaningful.

The Real Problem: Most People Never Build Their Foundation

The truth is, without digging deep to learn who you are, what you value, and how to find work that actually works for you, career dissatisfaction will just... linger. It'll follow you from job to job, from industry to industry, because you're trying to build a career without a foundation.

Your unique wants, desires, and values are what should be driving your career decisions and are essential for genuine career growth. But most people skip this foundational work entirely and wonder why they keep ending up in the same unsatisfying situations.

During a workshop a while ago with a very diverse group of women, a question came up about wanting to transition careers and wanting something different but not knowing what that even looks like.

The question was posed by a woman who had a non-traditional career in a creative field (definitely not a nine-to-five corporate office job). She was thinking of changing her career path for the future but didn't know what that change should look like for her.

I told her, and the rest of the group, the same thing I tell all my one-on-one clients: You have to start with two foundational questions before you can make any decisions about your future.

But before we get to those questions, let's talk about why so many smart, capable people struggle with career satisfaction despite their best efforts.

Does This Sound Like You?

See if any of these scenarios feel familiar:

You're drowning in information but starving for clarity. You sift through articles, blogs, and self-help books only to be left feeling increasingly confused and hollering "WHERE DO I EVEN START?" while your dog looks on with concern.

You're working harder but not smarter. You spend extra hours on your current role trying to get something to "click," instead of spending time with friends, family, or your ever-growing "to be read" list. And you're filled with guilt when your extra effort doesn't pan out.

You're collecting tools but not making progress. You purchase all the planners, notebooks, and apps that are supposed to help you figure it all out, but they just collect dust (yes, digital dust counts). Your notion workspace is beautifully organized but completely unused.

Your confidence is eroding. You've become less and less confident in your abilities after months (or years) of not seeing "success" in the ways you want. You're starting to wonder if you're just not cut out for career happiness.

I feel you. When I first began to design my own career, I searched for months feeling like I was alone, left behind, and thinking that my career would never be "successful" by any meaningful measure.

It sucks to put everything into your career and have it not feel worth it. So you have a decision to make—a decision that can lead to the change in your life you've been searching for.

You can continue trying to figure it out yourself, spinning your wheels and hoping something eventually clicks. Or you can learn the foundational work that actually creates sustainable career success.

The Three Most Common Career Mistakes (And How to Fix Them)

Based on working with over 900 clients in private career coaching sessions, I've identified three critical mistakes that keep smart, capable people stuck in career dissatisfaction. The good news? Once you understand these mistakes, they're completely fixable.

Mistake #1: Not Taking the Time to Find Your Foundation

One of the most common mistakes I see when a client is unsatisfied with their career is that they haven't taken the time to step back and examine themselves first.

If you don't know who you are and what you want, then no job, no work, and no career will ever feel right. You'll keep hopping from opportunity to opportunity, thinking the next job will finally be "the one," but you'll keep ending up disappointed because you're trying to fit yourself into roles rather than finding roles that fit you.

The foundation you need to establish includes:

Understanding your core values. What principles guide your decisions? What matters most to you? Is it creativity, stability, autonomy, helping others, intellectual challenge, financial security, work-life balance, recognition, or something else entirely? You need to know this with crystal clarity.

Identifying your non-negotiables. What are the dealbreakers you absolutely will not compromise on? Maybe it's a reasonable commute, ethical business practices, opportunities for growth, or flexibility to manage family responsibilities. Get clear on your boundaries.

Recognizing your natural strengths and interests. What energizes you rather than drains you? What tasks do you lose track of time doing? What problems do you naturally gravitate toward solving? Your sustainable career success lives at the intersection of what you're good at and what you genuinely enjoy.

Defining what success means to YOU. Not what your parents think success looks like. Not what society says you should want. Not what looks impressive on LinkedIn. What does success mean to you personally? Does it mean financial freedom? Making an impact? Leading a team? Having time for hobbies? There's no wrong answer, but you need YOUR answer.

Without this foundational self-knowledge, you're essentially shooting arrows in the dark and hoping one hits a target you can't even see.

Mistake #2: Focusing on Goals and Ignoring the Systems

What are your career goals? Do you have any? You should! Goals are integral to a successful career, but you have to have systems in place to actually reach those goals.

I know you know how to set goals. I'm sure you do it at least once a year when all that new-year, new-you inspiration hits. But what about the systems that will let you actually reach those goals? Yup, you need those.

Here's the difference between goals and systems:

A goal is: "I want to transition to a product management role."

A system is: "Every week I'll spend two hours learning product management skills, attend one industry event per month, and conduct two informational interviews with current product managers."

A goal is: "I want to earn $20,000 more per year."

A system is: "I'll document my accomplishments monthly, research market rates quarterly, and have a compensation conversation with my manager every six months using concrete data about my contributions."

A goal is: "I want to start my own business."

A system is: "I'll work on my business plan for one hour every Saturday morning, test my product with five potential customers this month, and save 15% of every paycheck toward my launch fund."

When you're trying to make changes in your career, you need both goals and systems. It's tempting to "DO ALL THE THINGS," but taking on too much is a recipe for overwhelm. One thing I learned the hard way is that when you have too many goals, you end up reaching just about none of them. Yikes.

The solution: Choose 2-3 primary career goals maximum. Then build concrete systems. Meaning regular, repeatable actions that move you toward each goal. Systems beat motivation every single time because systems work even when you're not feeling inspired.

Mistake #3: Not Knowing How to Craft Your Narrative

In order for your career design to be successful, you need to know how to talk about your career and yourself. You are your own best advocate, and it's the conversations you have and relationships you build with others that will help you reach the places you want to go.

It all starts with crafting a compelling career narrative.

Your career narrative is the story you tell about:

• Where you've been professionally

• What you've learned and accomplished

• What you're passionate about

• Where you're headed

• What unique value you bring

Most people think their resume or LinkedIn profile is their career narrative, but those are just data points. Your narrative is the compelling story that connects those data points into a coherent, memorable picture of who you are professionally.

Why your narrative matters:

When you're networking, you need to be able to articulate your professional story in a way that's interesting and memorable. "I work in marketing" doesn't cut it. "I help sustainable fashion brands connect with conscious consumers through data-driven storytelling" tells people exactly who you are and what you do.

When you're job searching, your narrative helps you explain career transitions, gaps in employment, or unconventional paths in ways that highlight your unique perspective rather than making you seem unfocused.

When you're negotiating, your narrative helps you confidently articulate your value and why you deserve what you're asking for.

When you're building your professional network, your narrative gives people a clear understanding of how they might help you and how you might help them.

Without a clear narrative, you're hoping people will figure out your value on their own. With a clear narrative, you're making it easy for people to understand your value and remember you.

The Two Foundational Questions That Change Everything

Remember that woman at my workshop who wanted to transition careers but didn't know what that should look like? Here are the two questions I told her (and the entire group) that they must answer before making any career decisions:

Question 1: Who Are You?

Not who do you think you should be. Not who your family expects you to be. Not who you were five years ago. Who are you RIGHT NOW?

This question requires deep, honest introspection:

• What are your actual values (not the values you wish you had)?

• What brings you genuine joy and satisfaction?

• What are you naturally good at?

• What kind of work environment helps you thrive?

• What kind of work drains you versus energizes you?

• What are your non-negotiables in work and life?

• What does success mean to you personally?

You cannot skip this question. If you don't know who you are, you cannot possibly figure out what work will fit you. You'll just keep trying on careers like they're clothes, hoping something eventually feels right.

Question 2: What Do You Actually Want?

Not what you think you should want. Not what would impress other people. Not what you wanted five years ago when you started down your current path. What do you want NOW?

This question requires honesty and often involves letting go of outdated goals:

• What does your ideal workday look like?

• What kind of impact do you want to make?

• What problems do you want to solve?

• What kind of people do you want to work with?

• What level of income do you need to live the life you want?

• What balance between work and personal life feels right to you?

• What are you willing to sacrifice and what's non-negotiable?

Many people skip this question because they're afraid the answer might mean letting go of a goal they've been working toward for years. But here's the truth: it's better to admit you don't want something anymore than to spend years pursuing it only to feel empty when you finally achieve it.

You Cannot Do This Alone (And You Don't Have To)

Here's where we circle back to the myth of being "self-made." Even as you do this foundational work of understanding yourself and what you want, you cannot (and should not) do it in isolation.

You need people to:

Reflect your blind spots. Friends, mentors, or coaches can often see patterns and strengths in you that you can't see in yourself. They can point out when you're selling yourself short or when your goals don't actually align with your values.

Provide information and connections. Want to know what it's really like to work in a particular field? You need to talk to people doing that work. Want to break into a new industry? You need connections who can introduce you and vouch for you.

Hold you accountable. Systems work better when someone besides you is checking in on your progress. Whether it's a friend, a coach, or an accountability partner, having someone who expects updates helps you follow through.

Celebrate your wins. Career design can be lonely work. Having people who genuinely celebrate your progress, even small steps, makes the journey sustainable.

Support you through setbacks. You will face rejection, disappointment, and moments of doubt. Having a support system reminds you that temporary setbacks don't define your worth or potential.

Challenge your thinking. Sometimes you need someone to lovingly call you out when you're making excuses, settling for less than you deserve, or stuck in patterns that don't serve you.

So ask for the help you need. Join a career development group. Hire a coach. Start a job search accountability pod with friends. Attend networking events. Reach out for informational interviews. Be vulnerable about what you're struggling with.

And equally important: offer help when you can. Proofread someone's cover letter. Make an introduction. Share an opportunity. Celebrate someone else's win. You need a support system, and you ARE a support system.

What Happens If You Do Nothing?

Let's revisit the question I asked at the beginning: What if you do nothing?

If you don't take time to find your foundation, to understand who you are and what you want, career dissatisfaction will linger indefinitely. You'll keep hoping the next job will finally be fulfilling, but without knowing what fulfillment even looks like for you, you're just guessing.

If you focus on goals but ignore systems, you'll set ambitious New Year's resolutions every January and abandon them by February. You'll know where you want to go but never figure out how to get there.

If you don't learn to craft your narrative, you'll struggle to articulate your value in job interviews, networking conversations, and salary negotiations. You'll let opportunities pass you by because people don't understand what you bring to the table.

If you try to do it all alone, you'll exhaust yourself trying to figure out through trial and error what others could have taught you in a single conversation. You'll miss opportunities that only come through connections. You'll lack the support system that makes the hard work sustainable.

The cost of doing nothing is remaining in the 51% of people who are dissatisfied with their careers. Is that really acceptable to you?

Your Action Plan: Three Things to Do This Week

Don't let this be another article you read, nod along to, and then do nothing about. Here are three specific actions you can take this week to start building your foundation for career success:

Action 1: Schedule a foundation date with yourself. Block off at least two hours this week (yes, actually put it in your calendar) to deeply reflect on the two foundational questions: Who are you right now? What do you actually want? Write down your answers. Be honest. Let yourself change your mind about old goals if they no longer fit.

Action 2: Identify one system you'll build. Pick one career goal that matters to you. Now design a system (again, specific, repeatable actions you'll take regularly) to move toward that goal. Make it small enough that you'll actually do it consistently. "Every Monday at 9am I'll spend 30 minutes..." is better than "I'll try to work on this when I have time."

Action 3: Ask for help from one person. Reach out to one person this week. It could be a friend, a mentor, a former colleague, someone doing work you admire and ask for their perspective, advice, or support. Be specific about what you need. Most people love helping others; you just have to ask.

The Bottom Line: You Deserve Career Success

Only 49% of people are happy in their careers. But you don't have to be in the other 51%. You can design a career that actually fits who you are and what you want from life.

It starts with building your foundation: knowing who you are, defining what you want, creating systems to get there, and crafting a narrative that helps others understand your value.

And it absolutely requires letting go of the myth that you have to do it alone. You need people. They need you. That interconnection doesn't make you weak—it makes you smart.

So stop trying to be "self-made." Start being community-built, support-system-strengthened, and foundation-focused instead.

Your career success isn't about working harder or wanting it more. It's about doing the foundational work that most people skip, building systems that actually work, and surrounding yourself with people who support your growth.

You deserve better than coin-flip career satisfaction. You deserve work that fits who you actually are. And with the right foundation and the right support, you can absolutely create that for yourself.

Now get to work. But don't do it alone.

Ready to build your foundation for career success? Remember: this isn't about being "self-made", it's about being intentional, systematic, and supported. Start with the two foundational questions and go from there.

Yours in you got this goodness-

EBS

When Your Job Sucks: A Complete Guide to Surviving (and Thriving) in Work You Hate

Do you hate your job? Not just "I can't wait for this meeting to be over, I guess I'll just doodle in my notebook for another 15 minutes" bored, but feeling 100% stuck doing meaningless work that drains your soul?

Or maybe you spend way too much time googling "career change motivation" because the thought of doing your job fills you with anxiety and a sense of being trapped? Like being wedged against the wall at the dinner table with your overly involved mother-in-law AND her sister?

Does your job make you feel like if Susan in accounting so much as looks at you, you're gonna put a fork in the microwave on high for two minutes?

You're not alone. Whether you're dealing with a job you hate, a dream job that turned out to be a nightmare, or simply feeling completely tapped out at the inspiration pump, this guide will help you navigate the reality of work dissatisfaction and what to do about it.

The Uncomfortable Truth About Jobs We Hate

Let's be honest for a second: shitty jobs are comfortable. We know what to expect. The surprises are few. Especially when it comes to careers, people fear the unknown to the point of setting up permanent housekeeping in their miserable jobs.

Hey, you might be miserable, but you know exactly what that misery entails. There's a perverse comfort in predictable suffering.

However, here's what's also true: humans are curious by nature. Our brains crave novelty, growth, and meaning. Your job might not actually be THE WORST. You might just need to approach it differently, find ways to make it tolerable while you plan your next move, or reassess what's really making you unhappy.

Before we dive into solutions, let's address an even more painful scenario: what happens when even your dream job sucks?

When Your Dream Job Turns Into a Nightmare (And Why It's Not Your Fault)

I was having drinks with a dear friend recently, and she said something that stuck with me because I'd heard it from clients before: "If I'm not happy with my dream job, something must be wrong with me."

She had worked her tail off, gone through a grueling job search, and finally scored her childhood dream job. But within weeks, she was miserable. And she was convinced it was her fault.

I'm here to tell you that when your dream job sucks, it's not you. There are three very real, very valid reasons why dream jobs can turn into nightmares—and none of them mean there's something wrong with you.

Reason #1: You Couldn't Know the Reality Until You Were Living It

You can ask yourself all the important questions, dig into the data, research companies, interrogate your friends who work there, and study up on the industry until you know all the key takeaways.

You can get the right education, read tens of thousands of blogs about the field, and explore job opportunities until you're blue in the face.

You can know the ins and outs of every position you're interested in. You can spend all your free time concocting dreams of your future career track.

You can do a million and one informational interviews. You can work your way up through a company. You can volunteer doing similar work. You can do all the background research humanly possible and be as prepared as you can possibly be.

But here's the truth: you cannot, in any way, know the true day-to-day reality of any job until you're in the middle of it. Not even if it's your dream career.

Even if it's your dream job and even if it's something you've been working toward for years, there's no way for you to know and truly understand the reality until you're living it.

And here's the other truth: even dream jobs are still... jobs. They have mundane tasks, difficult coworkers, frustrating processes, tedious meetings, and bureaucratic nonsense. The glamorous 10% of the work you imagined is real, but so is the unglamorous 90% you didn't anticipate.

My friend who got her dream job? On her first day (which should have been filling out paperwork, going to a nice lunch, meeting coworkers, and getting settled into her space) she was there until almost midnight answering emails. She knew in that moment that the job sucked, but she couldn't admit it because in her mind she was thinking, "If I worked this hard to get this dream job and it sucks, then it must be me, not the job."

But no. Sometimes jobs just suck, even dream ones. And it's horrible.

Reason #2: Humans Change Their Wants and Needs All the Time

If you're working toward a dream job, something you've hung your hat on and are working hard toward, your actual inner needs and wants may have changed without you being fully aware of it.

So by the time you finally land that dream job, that dream position, something inside you is saying it's not right because your wants and needs have shifted. You've been so focused on getting the dream job that you haven't taken a step back to review where you are personally.

If you've been so driven and focused on the end goal that you didn't take stock along the way to verify this is something you still truly want, things may have changed without you realizing it. The job might be perfectly fine, but it feels terrible because you don't actually want it anymore.

As you determine the realities of your life and this job, you may decide that a particular income level is a more important factor than the specific tasks you do during the day.

You might discover that you have more flexibility about your skill set than you thought, and that you're more interested in work-life balance than the demanding full-time job you got a new degree and went through a career change to obtain.

Your childhood dream job (or any dream career) may not be what you actually want once you find yourself being paid to do it. And that's okay! It doesn't mean your skills or past experiences are wasted. It simply means your interest in this career track has waned and your priorities have evolved.

Reason #3: Sometimes Jobs Just Suck, Even Dream Ones

It was true for my friend. I knew the dream job she'd been working toward. It sounded, on paper, like the perfect gig. When she got the job, she was really, really, crazy excited.

She got in there and knew from legitimately her first day that it was awful.

Sometimes jobs just suck, and it's the worst. Does this mean you need to give up on your dream job completely if that happens? No, not at all! But you do need to take stock and see if it's this particular job at this particular company, or if it's the role as a whole.

You need to take a step back and really assess what's happening.

Remember: If you're not happy with your dream job, something is NOT wrong with you! Just make sure, as you're working toward your dream job, that you have realistic expectations for what that job is going to be.

No job is going to fulfill you completely. No job is going to make you happy all by itself.

Make sure you're checking in on your internal wants and needs, your priorities, your values. And if you do get your dream job and it turns out not to be what you want, acknowledge that sooner rather than later without beating yourself up about it.

You're just fine. You can get what you want and what you need—you just need to take a step back and figure out what that actually is now, not what you thought it was years ago when you first set this goal.

How to Survive a Job You Hate (While Planning Your Escape)

Whether your current job was supposed to be your dream or it was always just a paycheck, if you hate it, you need strategies to survive while you figure out your next move.

So how do you show up, do the work, and get paid without sticking a pencil in your eye? Here are proven strategies:

Strategy 1: Find Inspiration Elsewhere

Can't imagine how making the logo bigger for the umpteenth time is helpful to anyone? Your creative and intellectual needs don't disappear just because your job doesn't fulfill them.

Go flip through magazines or design blogs. Watch creative commercials or TED talks. Check out the new coffee shop down the block with the interesting interior design. Looking at new, inspiring things can make you see old, boring things in a new light.

When your job isn't providing the stimulation your brain craves, actively seek it elsewhere. This prevents the complete creative and intellectual stagnation that makes bad jobs unbearable.

Strategy 2: Write Out Your Ideal Scenario

If you weren't stuck on this particular hamster wheel, what would you do with your days? What job would you be thriving at? What new challenges would you take on? What would your ideal workweek look like?

Write down your answers. Sometimes seeing things on the page makes them more "real" and actionable. Can you make anything on your list more real right now? Even small steps toward your ideal scenario make your current reality more tolerable.

This exercise also helps you clarify what you're actually working toward, which gives your suffering purpose. You're not just enduring a terrible job aimlessly, you're gathering information, building skills, and saving money to eventually make your ideal scenario a reality.

Strategy 3: Try Looking at Projects from a New Vantage Point

What is the outcome of your current project? How will it be used and by whom? How can you make it most useful for the end user?

Stepping out of yourself and finding some empathy for the person who will ultimately benefit from your work may at least give you a reason to complete the task without screaming silently into the void.

When you can't change what you're doing, sometimes changing how you think about it makes all the difference. Finding meaning (even small amounts) in otherwise meaningless work is a survival skill.

Strategy 4: Switch Up the Scenery

Take a walk. Find a new conference room to hide in. Ride your bike at lunch. Take the elevator to the 32nd floor just to see the view. Take advantage of nice weather and grab your favorite iced coffee for a 15-minute walk outside.

Do it without any purpose except clearing your head and calming your mind for 20 minutes or so. Physical movement and environmental changes reset your mental state and provide the novelty your brain craves.

Strategy 5: Inject Humor and Joy

So bored you're angry? Do something that guarantees you a laugh.

Does Gary in production do an amazing duck impression? Ask him for a command performance. Got a video on your phone of your little niece in conversation with the family ficus? Watch it on repeat.

Unless you're an evil villain, you can't laugh and be angry at the same time. Strategic humor is a powerful antidote to job misery.

Strategy 6: Find a New Outlet with Coworkers

Your friends at work feeling just as miserable as you? Start a book club for the trashiest beach reads you can find. Have lunch on a patio. Take your desk salads to the park and discuss your favorite parts of whatever you're reading.

Shared misery doesn't have to stay miserable. When you build genuine connections with coworkers around non-work activities, you create pockets of joy that make the job itself more bearable.

Strategy 7: Break Up Your Routine

Find a new waterside route to jog instead of your usual gym. Go throw a frisbee with friends in the sun and relive your carefree college days. Take a Zumba class with the energetic older ladies at the local community center.

Whatever you're doing habitually before and after work, shake it up. New routines prevent the sense that every day is exactly the same soul-crushing experience on repeat.

Strategy 8: Think Back to Why You Said Yes

Stop thinking of it as "just a job" and remember why you were excited to be there in the first place. What made you say yes to the job offer? How was it meant to fit into your career path?

Sometimes reconnecting with your original reasons for taking the job can help you either find renewed purpose or clarify that it's definitely time to move on. Either way, the clarity is valuable.

Strategy 9: Use the Job Strategically for Your Career Goals

Remember, the point is to use your current job to reach your next career goals. Will your company pay for classes? Can they train you in new skills? Can you take on different tasks or projects?

Tackle new skills, responsibilities, and projects that will be transferable to your next job. Every terrible job can at least be a stepping stone if you're strategic about what you learn and accomplish there.

Strategy 10: Build Out Your Career Plan

So what IS the next job? Get crystal clear on where you're heading and use this job for all it's worth to get you there.

Having a concrete plan transforms your current suffering from pointless to purposeful. You're not stuck forever, you're strategically positioned while you prepare for your next move.

Strategy 11: Plan a Vacation (Even If You Don't Take It)

The data proves it: the more vacation you take, the more you destress from your job, the better you perform at your job, and the more productive you are for your employer. It's a win-win-win for everyone involved.

Whether it's a full two weeks in Europe or a day trip up the coast, just planning a trip has proven psychological benefits. Your bank account screaming "NOT NOW"? Even just planning a vacation (whether you actually take it or not) still makes you better at your job and improves your mental state. Freaky awesome, right?

When You're Completely Tapped Out: The Inspiration Emergency Kit

There are a million reasons why you may be completely tapped out at the inspiration pump. Economic uncertainty, pandemic fatigue, burnout, toxic work environments, personal challenges—the list goes on.

If you're like most people who have jobs right now, you're probably feeling totally sapped of inspiration and just want to lay on the couch watching crappy daytime TV and eating microwave burritos like summer breaks of childhood.

Look, it's totally understandable. And while not instantly fixable, it's at least work-aroundable.

First, acknowledge it's actually happening. Don't pretend you're fine when you're not.

Second, acknowledge that you're a grown person not in school, so you don't get three months off for vacation anymore (unless you're European, in which case we're all jealous of you).

We all know how difficult it can be to sit in front of a monitor all day and then in our "off time" scroll through super-curated influencer Instagram feeds of Croatian beach vacations while you're staring down the barrel of a wilted desk salad and yet another Zoom meeting that could have been an email. It just ain't helping!

Instead of trying to force yourself to do business as usual, give yourself some slack and leeway as much as your job allows.

Tap into these "Lack of Inspiration" tricks:

1. Learn something new during breaks: Why not learn a little Spanish while you take your coffee walk? That way when you're ready for that vacation to Spain you're saving up for, you'll be prepared. Adding learning to your routine creates a sense of progress even when work feels stagnant.

2. Knock out mindless tasks strategically: Put on a great podcast (like "Why Won't You Date Me" or whatever makes you laugh) and knock out those tasks you keep pushing to the bottom of your to-do list. When you're ready to gear back up, all that nagging stuff will be done, freeing up mental space.

3. Reward yourself regularly: Pin up a $5 bill at your desk and treat yourself to gelato at lunch on Friday. Or frozen yogurt, or a couple of tacos, whatever your jam is. (It could literally be jam. Five dollars buys a decent jar of jam, right?) Small, regular rewards give you something to look forward to.

4. Create a feel-good playlist: If you can't really slack off at all, at least you CAN jam (in the musical sense). Slap on your headphones and crank a feel-good playlist that energizes you. Music changes your mental state instantly and can make even terrible tasks more bearable.

The Reality Check: No Job Is Ever Perfect

Look, no job is ever the perfect job. You'll probably always need one or two of these strategies tucked under your belt. But since you spend roughly 30% of your life at work, why not make it as meaningful and tolerable as possible?

Here's what you need to remember:

Bad jobs serve a purpose: They teach you what you don't want, they pay the bills while you plan your next move, and they build skills (even if just resilience) that transfer to better opportunities.

Dream jobs can disappoint: And that doesn't mean you failed or something's wrong with you. It means your understanding of what you want has evolved, or the reality didn't match the fantasy, or sometimes jobs just suck despite looking perfect on paper.

You have more control than you think: Even in a terrible job, you can control how you approach it, what you learn from it, how you spend your breaks, what connections you make, and when you decide to leave.

Survival mode is okay: You don't have to love your job or find deep meaning in it to be a valuable, worthwhile person. Sometimes survival is the goal, and that's completely legitimate.

Planning your exit is not giving up: It's taking control of your career and your life. Use your current job strategically while you prepare for something better.

Moving Forward: What to Do Next

If you're currently hating your job, whether it was supposed to be your dream or not, here are your next steps:

Assess honestly: Is this job salvageable with some of the strategies above, or is it genuinely toxic and you need to get out as soon as possible? Be honest with yourself about the severity of the situation.

Check in with yourself: Have your wants and needs changed? Are you chasing a goal you don't actually want anymore? It's okay to change direction.

Create a plan: What's your next career move? What skills do you need to develop? What connections do you need to make? Having a concrete plan transforms suffering from pointless to purposeful.

Set a timeline: How long are you willing to stay in this job? Six months? A year? Having an end date makes the present more bearable.

Take action: Use at least three of the strategies in this guide starting this week. Don't wait for your job to get better on its own—actively make your experience more tolerable while you plan your next move.

Be kind to yourself: You're not failing if you hate your job, even your dream job. You're learning what works for you and what doesn't. That's valuable information for building a better career going forward.

The Bottom Line

Whether you're dealing with a job you've always hated, a dream job that turned into a nightmare, or simply feeling completely burnt out and uninspired, remember this: it's not you.

You're allowed to hate your job. You're allowed to change your mind about your dream career. You're allowed to admit that what you thought you wanted isn't actually fulfilling you.

What you're not allowed to do is stay stuck without trying to make it better—either by improving your current situation with strategic coping mechanisms or by actively planning your escape to something better.

Your job doesn't define you. Your ability to survive a terrible job while maintaining your sanity and planning your next move? That shows strength, resilience, and self-awareness.

So use these strategies. Give yourself grace. Make a plan. And remember: no job is worth sacrificing your mental health and happiness indefinitely.

You deserve work that doesn't make you want to stick a pencil in your eye. And you have the power to create that for yourself, one strategic step at a time.

Currently surviving a job you hate? You're not alone, and you're not stuck forever. Start with one strategy from this guide today and begin building toward something better.

Yours in it’s not your forever job goodness,

EBS

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EB Sanders | Career Coach for Creative Types

The Complete Guide to Networking: How to Build Career Connections Without the Awkwardness

Let's address the elephant in the room: when it comes to networking, half of people are chomping at the bit while the other half are freaking out because they very much do not want to participate. If you fall into the latter category, you're not alone. Almost everyone claims to hate networking.

But here's a truth that might change your perspective entirely: there really are alternatives to traditional networking. Or more accurately, there are alternatives to what you think networking is and how you approach it.

Before we dive into those alternatives, let's talk about why networking matters in the first place, because understanding the "why" makes the "how" much easier to embrace.

Why Networking Is Non-Negotiable for Your Career Success

I work with incredibly smart people who, for some reason, don't believe me when I tell them this statistic: 70-80% of all jobs are never posted publicly.

Read that again. Seventy to eighty percent.

What this means is that sending your resume into 20 internet black holes is going to be far less effective than having one meaningful conversation with someone in your target industry. The hidden job market is real, and the only way to access it is through connections with real people.

You've heard the sayings: "Your network is your net worth" and "It's not what you know, it's who you know." They may be clichés, but they're absolutely true. Networking is imperative for career success. It's a must-do, whether you love it or hate it.

But here's the good news: networking doesn't have to be the smarmy, self-promoting, business-card-flinging gross-fest you're imagining.

Reframing Networking: What It Actually Is

What's that you say? You "hate" the concept of networking? Do you have a group of friends? Any social media accounts? Then congratulations, you're already a networker.

The truth is, even good networkers don't love the stale, self-promoting style of networking events from decades past. A collection of career-forwarding relationships (also known as a "network") doesn't have to be a formal, sleazy, name-tag-dependent thing.

Today, most people want to make real connections with others who can offer a give-and-take relationship. Once you realize that most people are just like you (they hate the hard handshake but appreciate meeting someone who's genuinely interested in them and what they do) networking becomes so much easier.

Try reframing networking in one of these ways:

As a way to help other people: If you look at networking as connecting people to opportunities that could change their lives, it suddenly becomes a fun, heartwarming, do-good activity instead of a sleazy sales pitch.

As meeting interesting people: Focus on the fact that you're encountering people who share your interests and have fascinating stories, skills, and perspectives to share.

As building authentic relationships: Meaningful networking means offering value and help to others, not just grabbing at anyone who might advance your career.

When you shift your mindset this way, networking transforms from something you dread into something that can actually be enjoyable (or at least tolerable.)

Six Powerful Alternatives to Traditional Networking Events

The best alternative-to-networking opportunities still involve meeting new people, but in new ways with much less pressure. If you want to create a career that fits you, networking will be key. Try a few of these approaches and watch your network grow organically:

1. Demographically Specific Organizations

Groups like industry-specific associations offer calendars of events and chances to learn while meeting leaders in your field. These organizations bring together like-minded individuals you already have something in common with and they want to connect with you and want you to be part of their community.

The shared identity or experience creates an instant foundation for genuine connections. You're not just networking; you're joining a community that understands your unique perspective and challenges.

2. Meetup Groups and Interest-Based Communities

Pick a thing. Any thing. There's a group that wants to get together and talk about or do that thing. It's a perfect space to meet people you have something in common with and forge genuine connections.

Here's the beautiful part: it doesn't have to be (and shouldn't be) all about business. You and someone named Joe might bond over your shared love of succulent gardening, and he just happens to have a sister who runs that company you're interested in talking to. But really, the conversation is genuinely about your succulent garden. The career connection is an organic byproduct, not the forced objective.

These low-pressure environments allow relationships to develop naturally around shared interests, which often leads to stronger, more authentic professional connections than traditional networking events ever could.

3. Non-Networking Events Related to Your Interests

Are you really into handmade items but you work in online marketing? Grab a stack of your handmade, wooden business cards and attend a craft fair or makers conference. Form genuine connections with sellers you like. Do you know how many of them would love to market their inventory online? Almost all of them.

Chat about their hand-knit phone cases, make friends, and hand over a business card. Networking accomplished! Boom.

Have you always wanted to learn rock climbing? Head to your local climbing gym, join other climbers who need partners, and make those connections. I personally know more than one person who has made a large-scale career jump after meeting a connection while dangling sky-high from fake rocks. True story.

The key is pursuing activities you're genuinely interested in. When you show up as your authentic self, doing something you actually enjoy, you're relaxed and engaging exactly the person others want to connect with.

4. Entrepreneur and Industry-Specific Organizations

Groups and industry associations like the National Association of Social Workers (NASW) or Restaurant.org offer ready-made networks. They've done all the organizational work for you! Your only job is to add to the group and augment the dynamic they've created. In return, you'll organically grow your pool of people you can help and who can help you.

Not an entrepreneur? No problem. Find a group that caters to your particular industry or professional role. Most industries have multiple associations that offer networking events, educational opportunities, and online communities. All you have to do is show up and participate authentically.

5. Volunteer Organizations

There are sites that can match you to volunteer opportunities nationwide, but don't forget to think locally. Most cities have volunteer-specific pages on their websites featuring various opportunities.

Many leaders consider volunteer work an integral part of their lives, and they respect and connect with others who do too. A friend of mine was offered her current position after meeting her boss at a food bank! He was impressed by her organizational skills and commitment to the community.

Here's the important part: she didn't go there to "network." She went because she genuinely cares about the organization's mission. That authenticity showed through and created a meaningful connection.

Critical caveat: If you're not a dog person, don't volunteer at the animal shelter just to network. You need to pick a cause you're genuinely passionate about, because you're attempting to make genuine relationships, and you can't do that if you're faking it. People can always tell when your heart isn't in it.

6. Online Groups and Communities

If you aren't able to meet people in the real world, there are unlimited networking opportunities available online. This has become especially valuable in our increasingly remote and global work environment.

Choose your career field or a topic you're passionate about and start connecting. Want to talk about art? Are you an academic? Do you have great rapport with fellow designers on Pinterest? Have you formed connections with commenters on your favorite industry blog or podcast community?

These all count as real relationships (yes, even your guild members in that online game you play every day). The connections you make in Slack channels, LinkedIn groups, Reddit communities, Discord servers, or industry-specific forums are just as valuable as in-person relationships. Keep up the conversation and make those connections count.

When You Must Attend Official Networking Events: 20 Tips to Make Them Less Awful

It's absolutely easier to network at smaller, less official events. But what do you do when you need to attend an "Official" Networking Event, the kind with name tags, awkward small talk, and aggressive business card exchanging?

Here are 20 tips to make these events valuable, way less awkward, and yes, even enjoyable (I know, crazy right?):

Before the Event:

1. Set a realistic goal: Aim to have 1, 2, or 3 meaningful conversations total. That's it. You don't need to work the entire room. Quality beats quantity every time.

2. Remind yourself of the value you offer: Before you walk in, take a moment to remember what you bring to the table. You have skills, experiences, and perspectives that others will find valuable.

3. Don't go on an empty stomach: You want to focus on conversations, not obsessing over the appetizer tray or feeling lightheaded from low blood sugar.

During the Event - General Strategies:

4. Yes, wear the name tag: Put it on the right side if possible it's really helpful for people who struggle with names, and when you shake someone's hand, their eyes naturally travel to your right side.

5. Smile genuinely: Not in a creepy Joker way, but warmly. A genuine smile signals approachability and makes others comfortable.

6. Say "hi" to anyone you know: This helps you get comfortable in the space and gets you talking, but keep these initial conversations short and sweet so you can meet new people.

7. Take a lap around the space: Check out who's where, what's where, where the food is, where the bathroom is. Getting oriented helps you feel more in control.

8. Keep your right hand free: This is the handshaking hand! Keep your left hand free to hold your drink so you're not fumbling when you meet someone.

During the Event - Conversation Strategies:

9. Focus on listening: The key to connecting is asking open-ended questions and genuinely listening to the answers. Start with questions like "What brought you here tonight?" or "What are you working on these days?"

10. Offer valuable help: After chatting for a bit, ask "How can I best help you?" or "What's your biggest challenge right now?" This shifts the dynamic from transactional to collaborative.

11. Introduce people to each other: Connect anyone you know to other people you know, even if you just met both of them 15 minutes earlier. Being a connector makes you memorable and valued.

12. Be honest if you've forgotten a name: If someone didn't wear their name tag, just be upfront: "We met last year at the tech conference, right? Of course I remember you, but I'm sorry I've forgotten your name." People appreciate honesty over awkward dodging.

13. It's okay to break into conversations: Especially in larger groups. Go ahead and introduce yourself. Most people at networking events expect and welcome this.

14. Have business cards accessible: Keep them in an easily grabbable spot. Yes, actual physical cards still matter at in-person events.

During the Event - Managing the Experience:

15. Ending one-on-one conversations gracefully: This can be awkward. Hand over your card during a natural lull and say you'd love to keep in touch or learn more. Or mention that you want to connect with a few more people before the event ends and ask for their card before moving on.

16. Drink mindfully: If it's a boozy event, it's totally okay not to drink! Or if appropriate, enjoy yourself just beware of saying something you'll regret later.

17. Avoid wall-hugging: Don't stick to the walls with your face in your phone. I know it's tempting when you feel awkward, but you have to get yourself out there to make connections.

18. Introduce yourself to the organizer: If you can, do it! Event organizers tend to be super-connectors, and you definitely want to know those people.

The Most Important Tip:

19. Go with the goal of helping others: When you show up authentically with the intention of forming genuine connections and offering value to others, you'll naturally build meaningful relationships. This mindset transforms the entire experience.

20. Remember that everyone feels awkward: Seriously. Even the people who look comfortable probably felt nervous walking in. You're all in this together.

Making Your Networking Efforts Count

No matter how you connect with someone whether at a craft fair, through a volunteer organization, in an online community, or at a traditional networking event the follow-up is crucial.

Here's what NOT to do: Don't send them an email that asks for 20 minutes to "pick their brain." This is the fastest way to get ignored.

Here's what to do instead: Your job now is to create a mutually beneficial relationship, so start by offering to help them. Send a message referencing your conversation, sharing a resource you mentioned, making an introduction they'd value, or offering your specific expertise on a challenge they mentioned.

When you lead with generosity and genuine interest, you never know what might be offered to you in return. The best networking relationships are built on reciprocity and authentic connection, not transactional asks.

Finding Your Networking Style

Look, I don't care what industry you work in, what role you have, or what your goals are you have to network. There's simply no way around it if you want to advance your career and access the hidden job market.

But here's the good news: there are so many ways to network. You just need to find the approaches that work for you.

Did you discover you love online networking events? Great, keep doing those!

Do you feel like you can only connect authentically in person? Fine! Lean into face-to-face opportunities.

Is speed networking at hyper-specific conferences your jam? You do you.

The point is: just do something. Start somewhere. Try different approaches until you find the ones that feel natural and productive for you.

The Bottom Line on Networking

Networking doesn't have to be the soul-crushing, awkward experience you've built it up to be in your mind. When you reframe it as building authentic relationships with interesting people who share your interests and values, it becomes infinitely more manageable and maybe even enjoyable.

Remember these key principles:

Authenticity beats polish: People connect with genuine humans, not perfectly polished networkers. Be yourself, share your real interests, and let connections develop naturally.

Quality trumps quantity: One meaningful conversation is worth more than 50 business cards collected. Focus on depth, not breadth.

Giving creates receiving: When you lead with generosity, making introductions, sharing resources, offering help, people naturally want to reciprocate. The best networking is never one-sided.

Alternative venues work better for most people: You don't have to force yourself to attend traditional networking events if they make you miserable. Find the environments where you naturally thrive and build connections there.

The hidden job market is real: With 70-80% of jobs never posted publicly, your network genuinely is your most valuable career asset. Investing time in building relationships isn't optional if you want career success, it's essential.

Everyone feels awkward: Even the most confident-seeming networkers felt nervous at some point. You're not uniquely bad at this; you're just human.

So stop telling yourself you hate networking. What you actually hate is inauthentic, transactional interactions with strangers. What you can learn to enjoy is meeting interesting people, helping others succeed, and building a community of professional relationships that enrich both your career and your life.

Now get out there! Whether that's to a volunteer event, a Meetup group, an online community, or yes, even a traditional networking event and start building the connections that will open doors you didn't even know existed.

Your future career opportunities are waiting in conversations you haven't had yet with people you haven't met. So make it your mission to start having those conversations, in whatever way feels most authentic to you.

Ready to build a network that actually works for your career? Remember: networking isn't about collecting contacts, it's about cultivating relationships. Start with one genuine connection, and build from there.

Yours in “go meet some folx!” goodness-

EBS

—-

EB Sanders | Career Coach for Creative Types

The Secret to Great Leadership? Confidence (And Not Being a Dick)

Starbucks is not my jam. More power to you if it's your thing, but I prefer mom and pop shops, or mom and mom. I definitely don't discriminate.

However, due to a rainstorm and a neighborhood-wide power outage, I found myself trekking out to the burbs in search of wifi one day.

Not a big deal, except that the only coffee shop, cafe, or restaurant around where I wouldn't be seen as a total ass for whipping out my laptop to get stuff done was a Starbucks. That and everything else was closed.

I toddled in and let out an audible sigh followed by a low, toddler-like whine.

It was raining out. It was midday. The place was PACKED. As I stared at the board of ridiculous sugar bombs and got ready to order my plain, black coffee, I realized that people were packing up. And leaving. Like a lot of them. Why? The employees.

The employees were hitting the end of their stupidly early morning shift and they were lagging. One of them had put thrash metal on the speakers. Seriously. No apologies. And the stuff was loud.

But the employees were laughing, dancing, and having a 100 percent bonding moment. They were in job happiness mode, full on. And I got a seat. The good cushy one.

Do I like thrash metal? Um, no. Hard pass. But I do love a place run by happy, fun-loving employees. And I like the good chair. Don't judge me.

What else do I love? Good leaders. And I just met one.

The manager was on break, which may explain the music, but one of the rank and file noticed the mass exodus and asked the other employees “if mayyyyybe they should switch the music”. They got huffy. She got brilliant. She polled us. The “us” that hadn't left.

She asked what we wanted to hear, changed the music, and kept the team vibe while adapting to the customers. That's leadership. Not because of her title, but because of her actions.

Leadership vs. Management: What's the Difference?

Here's the skinny: management and leadership are two very different things. You can be a leader and not a manager, and we've all had a manager that was definitely not a leader.

Occasionally managers are called "leaders" and vice versa, but while leaders can have managerial responsibilities, they don't always. "Managers" often operate in a hierarchy within an organization.

They ensure timely completion of project assignments and facilitate interpersonal relations, while leaders can be at any level. The best leaders ask questions, embrace innovative thinking along with honest feedback and transparency. "Leadership" enables teams by allowing each person to develop unique leadership skills.

That Starbucks employee? She wasn't the manager. But she was absolutely the leader in that moment.

Why Leadership Matters

It is important for any organization to recognize its successful leaders. Creative leadership allows organizations to operate effectively and better withstand changes. Organizations who excel in developing leadership behaviors generally achieve better returns in the future.

What makes a good leader? Let me start off by saying that not everyone is born to lead. Some don't want to develop leadership skills, some are born with zero leadership qualities, and some don't want to spend the time needed to motivate team members. However, while many great leaders aren't part of the official management leadership in an organization, leaders create the culture.

Good leaders acquire confidence, build strong relationships, are biased toward action, demonstrate humility, empower others, and remain authentic. There are as many leadership styles as there are leaders.

The Foundation: Confidence and Self-Esteem

There's so much conversation out there about introversion versus extroversion, but in reality, it's confidence and self-esteem that are the essential factors that determine the quality of your professional life and play a critical role in your performance, relationships, and overall satisfaction on the job.

While interconnected, they're actually two different things: confidence is the belief in your abilities and worth, while self-esteem refers to how we value and perceive ourselves.

Make no mistake though, both are crucial for professional growth and success, especially in leadership.

How Confidence Impacts Leadership

1. Confidence leads to better performance

Having confidence in your skills and abilities leads to better overall performance, just like how you shoot pool better after that second margarita. When you have confidence in yourself, you're more likely to make bold decisions, and you're less afraid to take risks.

Confidence allows us to step out of our comfort zones and take calculated risks, leading to personal and professional growth. It enables us to overcome obstacles, navigate workplace dynamics, and seize opportunities for advancement.

At the same time, self-esteem empowers us to recognize our intrinsic value, accept constructive feedback, and bounce back from setbacks.

Trusting your skills usually means you perform tasks more efficiently since you're not second-guessing everything, which results in higher productivity and better results.

High self-esteem fosters a positive mindset, enabling individuals to face challenges with resilience and perseverance. On the other hand, folks who lack self-confidence tend to doubt their abilities and often perform suboptimally, leading to dissatisfaction and underachievement.

2. Confidence affects professional relationships

Confidence and self-esteem can also affect professional relationships. When you're self-assured, you tend to be more comfortable around your colleagues, clients, and leaders. You effectively communicate your ideas and thoughts without coming across as unsure or hesitant.

Assertiveness, a product of confidence, allows individuals to express their thoughts, ideas, and concerns clearly and respectfully. Self-esteem enables individuals to receive feedback constructively and engage in open dialogue, leading to stronger working relationships. This visibility helps to build beneficial relationships, and you're more likely to be successful in those collaborations.

In contrast, a lack of self-assurance can lead to communication breakdowns and misunderstandings, and eventually strain relationships.

3. Confidence contributes to mental health and growth

Lastly, confidence and self-esteem contribute significantly to our overall mental health, outlook, and personal and professional growth.

What that means is that if it doesn't come naturally to you, and it definitely doesn't for everyone, building confidence and self-esteem in the workplace is essential for your personal and professional growth.

Confidence and self-esteem are top traits for aspiring leaders. Individuals with high confidence and self-esteem are more likely to take on leadership roles, inspire and motivate others, and make informed decisions. These qualities also increase the likelihood of career advancement and professional recognition.

A healthy level of confidence enables us to take on challenges, assert ourselves, and seize opportunities, while solid self-esteem influences how we perceive ourselves and our abilities, affecting our motivation and resilience.

Ten Leadership Characteristics That Actually Matter

Now that we understand why confidence matters, here are 10 leadership characteristics that separate good leaders from mediocre managers:

1. Set Clear Goals and Standards

A great leader sets goals and standards so that other group members on the team understand them.

First and foremost, effective leaders need to model leadership behavior. Hold yourself to high standards and your team will follow suit. It's not always about leadership skills. It has a lot to do with being able to inspire people to reach their goals.

Secondly, no matter your leadership style, make your goals clear to your team, get everyone calibrated, and then it's 872 percent easier for the team to work toward and help you achieve those goals. A leader's ability to keep a team highly motivated is where the success is.

Thirdly, always let people know what is expected of them and yourself, clearly. Fostering other team leaders and actively developing leaders takes emotional intelligence and day-to-day management. Honest feedback from your team about your key traits is what creates authentic leadership.

2. Be Approachable, Accessible, and Not an Asshole

Folks in leadership positions need to have social skills. A good leader doesn't need an "open door" policy—you still need to get your work done after all—but you absolutely need to be available, accessible, and legitimately approachable. It also helps to be genuinely curious about your teammates and their work.

3. Ask Your Team for Input

One of the best leadership traits is the self-confidence to ask your team for input on your work and not settle into a status quo.

Leadership experts allow and openly encourage constructive criticism. Those around you will see open lines of communication that go both ways. The caveat: you must actually listen and really hear what they have to say. It's a perfect setup to make sure everyone is on the same page.

That Starbucks employee? She didn't just change the music. She asked us what we wanted. That's confidence and humility combined.

4. Offer Constructive Criticism

In turn, good leadership offers constructive criticism in order to achieve results.

Constructive is the key word here. If it's not constructive, keep it to yourself. True constructive criticism is specific and actionable. If you're in a leadership role, stay away from simply saying "I don't like it." Why specifically not? What can be fixed to make it better? Offer solutions.

5. Allow for Honesty

One of the most requested personality traits of leaders is acceptance of honest and transparent feedback. If you openly listen to the honest opinion from everyone, including those above you, below you, lateral to you, and the receptionist on the 11th floor, you'll know what really is going on and be able to head problems off at the pass before they even become problems. It's the simplest way to meet organizational goals.

6. Work With People Better Than You

For long-term success, work with people better than you.

If you're in a hiring position, hire people better than you. If you aren't, offer yourself up to work with people a level up from you as much as possible. Ego aside, they'll influence you to do better work and keep you from getting complacent.

7. Be Proactive About Helping

Be proactive about helping your team out and keeping the motivation going.

You know who is seen as the ultimate team player, especially in non-leadership situations? The admin who will tweak that deck because Heather is out sick. The office manager who gets the billing to finance early during month-end to ease up their load. The account guy whose meeting got canceled so he offers to help you set up yours. Other stakeholders not waiting to be asked to help but being aware and offering it willingly? That's the golden unicorn of teammates.

8. Take the Credit, But Own the Blame

If your team did great work, don't take the credit without acknowledging the contributions of others, but do gracefully accept kudos if they come your way. If your team screws something up, it's time for the leaders to take the blame too.

9. Work With People's Strengths

This sounds like a no-brainer, and yet few in leadership follow it. People are not job titles. They're, well, people. Two people with the same job title in your organization may have wildly different strengths. Play to them. Don't try to force Karen the introvert to throw the client parties when Barb is the party maven. Let Bob create all the reports that the party is celebrating because Bob is a data phenom. Pay attention to how people work best and on what. Use their best talents to the team's best advantage. The same goes for yourself.

10. Don't Be a Dick

This one is sort of my mantra. It's useful in different situations. It's difficult to get criticism in any job, but when employees are putting, sometimes literally, their blood, sweat, and tears into their work, just be nice. Offer your time, support, and input, and always be constructive, generous, and just, well, nice.

The Common Thread

The common thread through all these? Be nice, be proactive, lift others up. Be about other people just as much as you are about yourself.

And it all starts with confidence. Not arrogance. Not ego. But genuine confidence in yourself and your abilities, combined with the humility to know you don't have all the answers.

That's what that Starbucks employee had. She was confident enough to notice the problem, humble enough to ask for input, and decisive enough to act on it. She didn't need a title to lead. She just needed confidence and the willingness to care about the people around her.

Leadership isn't about having all the answers. It's about having the confidence to ask questions, the humility to listen to the answers, and the courage to act on what you learn.

It's about building your team's confidence, not just your own. It's about creating an environment where people feel valued, heard, and empowered to do their best work.

And it's about not being a dick. Seriously. That one's important.

Building Your Leadership Confidence

If you're working your way up the ladder, creating change and making news, well done you. Still striving to get to that leadership position you've been coveting? Now's the time to prove your leadership chops.

But how do you become a better leader?

It starts with building your own confidence and self-esteem. You can't lead others effectively if you don't believe in yourself. You can't empower your team if you're constantly second-guessing your own decisions.

So work on your confidence. Challenge your negative self-talk. Build a positive self-image. Cultivate self-compassion. Overcome imposter syndrome.

And then use that confidence not to puff yourself up, but to lift others up.

Because that's what great leaders do. They see the potential in others. They create environments where people can thrive. They make the hard decisions. They take the blame when things go wrong and share the credit when things go right.

They don't need thrash metal and an official title to lead. They just need confidence, compassion, and a commitment to not being a dick.

So go forth. Build your confidence. Develop your leadership skills. And remember: leadership is about serving others, not yourself.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find a new coffee shop that doesn't play thrash metal. But I'll always remember that employee who had the confidence to lead without a title.

That's the kind of leader I want to be.

Yours in” yes you can be an awesome leader” goodness,

EBS

How to Change Careers Using Creativity (Not Just Skills Lists)

I talk to a lot of clients, potential clients, people at parties, folks at the dog park who are trying to figure out what they want to do with their careers, and they want to DO IT NOW.

They want to skip really important steps because they want to just figure it out right now.

People change careers for all types of reasons, but they all have the same driver: the need to pivot into something different than what you are doing now.

While a lot of people find that terrifying, I see it as the ultimate opportunity to do something that makes you truly happy. It's the chance to do something that fulfills you in a way your old career didn't.

So what's the rush? And more importantly, what are these impatient career changers skipping over?

The Step Everyone Wants to Skip (But Shouldn't)

I believe every single person should start with some of the BIG life questions like "Why do I work?", "What is meaningful to me?", you know, "How do I want to be in the world?"

While, as a coach, I know you should start here, so many people just do not want to take the time out to ask those questions. They want to skip ahead. They're impatient. I get it.

So what they do instead of outlining what they truly want to do, they hop straight into "Okay, I'm going to write out a list of all of the things that I can do." Then they write out that list of things they know how to do and then start looking at jobs that line up with the skill sets they have.

While on the outside it apparently makes sense, that's actually the wrong way to go about it.

Here's why: you end up right back where you started. You find another job that uses your existing skills but doesn't fulfill you. You've changed jobs, not careers. You're still miserable, just in a different conference room.

What You Actually Need: Creativity

What is the most important factor in a career change? You and the limits of your imagination.

I believe that it is absolutely necessary to tap into your creativity if you are even considering a career change.

"But I'm not creative," you're thinking. "I'm an accountant. I'm in operations. I work in finance."

Stop. We are, by nature, creative problem solvers. And to be sure, job happiness is a problem to be cracked, decoded, and solved. You don't have to be a creative, but you absolutely should incorporate creativity into your search for job fulfillment.

Here's what creativity actually gives you in a career change: it helps you see possibilities beyond what already exists. It helps you connect dots that aren't obvious. It helps you envision something that doesn't look like what you've already done.

Skills-based job searching keeps you in the box of what is. Creativity helps you imagine what could be.

The Power of Flow

The key to finding a new career that fulfills you is finding what puts you in flow. Flow is a psychological concept that outlines the idea that you should engage most in tasks where you lose yourself.

Now, I can go all zen on a sink full of dishes, but that's not flow. Flow is looking up from a report you're diving into and realizing that you've spent four hours digging into fashion-buying statistics and it felt like 20 minutes and you have a smile on your face. Flow is a zone. A feeling. A work-induced happy place.

The absolute best place to find flow? In creative endeavors. Have you ever noticed that when you're in the act of creating something, time just flies? It can be almost anything: writing, organizing shapes, painting, dance, collage, whatever brings you joy and puts you in a state of flow.

This is the clue your brain is giving you about what kind of work will fulfill you. When you're in flow, you're using your strengths in a way that energizes rather than drains you. You're challenged but not overwhelmed. You're engaged but not stressed.

Pay attention to when you experience flow. That's your career GPS.

How to Actually Use Creativity in Your Career Change

So, now what?

Step 1: Find your flow.

Step 2: Find a way to incorporate that endeavor into your new career.

It may not mean literally. But it may. Honestly, tapping into your creativity doesn't mean you need to sculpt heads out of clay until you've designed the face of your ideal boss. It just means that you need to tap into the part of you that isn't necessarily logical and linear.

If you find yourself in flow while cooking but you can't see yourself as a line cook in a restaurant 50 hours a week, then maybe it's about finding a position where you can solve problems creatively alongside an energetic team who are encouraged to improvise.

Personally, when I was in the throes of a career change from teacher to who knew what, I had to come up with creative ways of teaching that weren't in front of a classroom with a creaky blackboard behind me. That creativity helped me envision career coaching before I even knew career coaching was a thing.

If there are zero creative activities you have interest in—firstly, seriously?—there are a few other ways to incorporate creativity into your career change journey:

• Building a mood board of how you want to feel in your new gig

• Brainstorming ALL bazillion possibilities for new roles

• Mind-mapping your ideal project on the job

• Drawing, visually or written, a "perfect" day one year into the future

• Creating a vision board of companies you admire

• Writing a day-in-the-life narrative of your ideal role

• Sketching out your dream organizational chart

• Collaging images that represent your values and priorities

The point isn't the specific creative activity. The point is engaging the part of your brain that imagines, connects, and envisions rather than just analyzes and categorizes.

The Four Lists That Actually Work (When Done Right)

Okay, so I've convinced you that you can't skip the creative, flow-finding, imagination work. But you still need a practical framework for organizing your skills and interests. I'm going to show you how to do this in a way that makes sense for your career search and for when you're questioning what you should do next.

You're going to write some lists. Four lists, actually. You can do this.

List Number One: All the Skills You Have

Write out ALL the skills that you have. All of them. Everything that you can do. Especially all the stuff that's super second nature to you. You want to write that down. List every skill that you could have someone pay you to do.

Don't edit. Don't judge. Don't dismiss things as "not real skills." Can you organize chaos? That's a skill. Can you make people feel comfortable in awkward situations? That's a skill. Can you spot patterns in data? That's a skill.

List Number Two: All the Skills You Want to Use

Write out all the skills and stuff you want to do.

Now, these lists are going to look a little different, right? List one is going to be much longer than list two. Don't worry about size right now. Just list out all of the things that you can and want to do.

This is where that flow work comes in. What skills put you in flow? What do you lose yourself in? What energizes rather than drains you?

List Number Three: Skills You Can Do But Don't Want To

I think this one is just as important as list one, but a lot of people skip it. For this list, list out all of the skills, all of the things that you can do but that you do not want to do.

Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. Let's say you take a job that uses your top 10 can-do, saleable skills, but you hate nine of them. Even if you're being paid double, you're going to be miserable.

This list is crucial. It's your "never again" list. Maybe you're great at cold calling, but it makes you want to cry. Maybe you're excellent at managing budgets, but you find it soul-crushing. Maybe you're skilled at event planning, but you hate the stress.

Get clear on what you don't want. It's just as important as knowing what you do want.

List Number Four: Skills You Want to Learn

I love this list.

This is the stuff that maybe you got a chance to do once six months ago, or it's just a skill that you've always been interested in learning, or a skill that you've been learning but haven't had much of a chance to actually use.

This is your growth edge. This is where your curiosity lives. This is what excites you even though you're not good at it yet.

What to Do With Your Four Lists

Okay great. Now you've got four lists. What do you do with them?

You're going to take your list of all the things you can do and your list of all the things you don't want to do and cross-reference them. Make sure to check that off against list two. What overlaps? What is the stuff that you can do and that you want to do and made it to both lists?

Essentially, what's in the middle of a Venn diagram. That list of skills right there is what you should be plugging into job search engines to see what comes back at you in terms of titles, in terms of companies, in terms of roles, in terms of fields.

That's going to be where your interests lie, so look at that short list in the middle of that cool Venn diagram.

But here's the creative part: don't just look for job titles that match those skills. Look for industries you've never considered. Look for companies doing interesting work. Look for roles that use those skills in unexpected ways.

Maybe your overlap skills are communication, organization, and strategic thinking. That could be marketing. It could also be nonprofit program management. Or operations at a tech startup. Or project management in healthcare. Or event production in entertainment.

The creativity comes in imagining all the different contexts where those skills could be valuable, not just the obvious ones.

Do not forget list four. While you're on this search for your next thing, you should start learning some of the things on that list.

Take an hour and learn that new piece of software. Learn that new management skill, whatever it is. Now, when looking at potential jobs, if you fulfill 80 percent of the requirements for a job description and you are interested in learning the other 20 percent, you are a perfect fit for that role.

Employers want people who are curious and willing to learn. Your list four shows you are both.

Bringing It All Together: Skills + Creativity = Career Clarity

So that's it. Four lists and a little bit of organization, filtered through creativity and flow.

This is the step that you cannot skip. So as frustrated and as raring to go as you might be, do not skip this step. This step is absolutely necessary for you to find work that's going to make you happy in the future.

I promise you, just take an hour to do this. It will save you a lot of trial and error. It'll save you a lot of headache.

Here's what the full process looks like:

1. Find your flow. Pay attention to when you lose track of time in a good way. What are you doing? What skills are you using? How does it feel?

2. Get creative. Use mood boards, brainstorming, mind mapping, or any other creative tool to envision what you want your career to feel like and look like.

3. Make your four lists. All skills you have, skills you want to use, skills you never want to use again, and skills you want to learn.

4. Find the overlap. Create your Venn diagram of what you can do, want to do, and don't hate doing.

5. Think creatively about application. Don't just search for obvious job titles. Think about industries, company types, and roles where those skills could be valuable in ways you haven't considered.

6. Start learning. Pick one thing from list four and start developing that skill now.

The skills-only approach keeps you trapped in what you've already done. The creativity-only approach is too abstract and doesn't give you actionable next steps. But skills plus creativity? That's where the magic happens.

That's where you find work that uses what you're good at, in ways you actually enjoy, in contexts you haven't imagined yet.

Your Career Change Is Waiting

Career change is scary. I get it. But it's also the ultimate creative problem to solve.

You get to design what comes next. You get to use everything you've learned while leaving behind what drains you. You get to build something that fulfills you in ways your current career doesn't.

But only if you do the work. Only if you tap into your creativity. Only if you give yourself permission to imagine something different instead of just looking for a slightly better version of what you already have.

So go grab your beverage of choice and a pen, pencil, or Google doc, whatever you like. Find your flow. Get creative. Make your four lists. Find your overlap. And then start imagining all the unexpected, interesting, fulfilling places those skills could take you.

Send me a copy of your Venn diagram. I would love, love, love to see it.

Your new career is out there. Not the one that just uses your skills. The one that also lights you up. The one that puts you in flow. The one you haven't imagined yet because you've been too busy being practical.

Go imagine it. Then go get it.

Yours in creativity is great for your career goodness,

EBS

What If I Choose the Wrong Job? (Spoiler: There's No Such Thing)

In my work, I obviously talk to a lot of people with a lot of different fears.

One of the recurring fears that I hear a lot of, especially during career changes or when someone is looking for a new job, is: "I'm afraid I'll choose the wrong thing."

So I'm here today to tell you what to do when you choose the wrong job, and more importantly, why the entire premise of your fear is flawed.

First: There Is No Wrong Job

First of all, you need to take a breather and realize there is no wrong thing. There is no wrong job.

If you're interested in something enough, right now, to have chosen it at all, then it's not the wrong thing. It can't be. If it's something that interests you enough that you are making any sort of life decision based on it, it's definitely not the wrong thing.

Just take a step back and let it sink in: there is no wrong thing.

Whatever you choose next will be the right thing, right now. It's, you know, not Mr. Right, it's Mr. Right Now. Same idea. Clearly, this doesn't mean that this is your forever thing, but it's the right thing right now.

Roll with it. Go feed your interests. Go grow your knowledge base. Go collect some more skills, and then if you decide to pivot into something else? Great.

But yes, a lot of people do feel that whatever they choose next has to be the forever thing, which is a strange concept to me because if you look back, very few people will look back in their job history or their life path and see that they've done the same thing all the time.

There are those few, you know, child prodigies that at three years old decided they wanted to be a lawyer, became a lawyer, and have never done anything but lawyering. But that's rare.

Most of us worked at the ice cream shop in high school, then we got a communications degree, and we worked at an ad agency, and then we decided to go into the restaurant biz, or whatever. Most people have meandering paths, so the idea that your next thing has to be THE thing is not true and actually a strange concept if you look at your past.

So I'm here to tell you again: there is no wrong thing.

Why This Fear Is Really Just Procrastination

I know that this fear is real and I'm not saying that the fear isn't valid. I'm just asking you to not let that fear keep you from choosing anything because you're afraid of choosing the wrong thing.

In a lot of ways, it's just procrastination. "Well, I don't want to take the wrong thing, so I'm going to keep researching. I'm going to keep applying and I'm going to keep interviewing until I find the perfect right thing."

Nine times out of ten, for most people, again except for that weird three-year-old lawyer, there's never going to be a perfect position. There is never going to be the perfect role.

There's always going to be something else better somewhere down the road, so just choose your next thing. That's all you need to do.

It doesn't have to be that forever thing. You're not marrying the next thing that comes along. And even if you do marry it, divorce is a thing. You can quit a job.

People act as if quitting a job is one of life's major moral failings. It's not.

Don't let this fear hold you back from learning, from growing, from making connections, from trying something out that, yeah, maybe it's not the right thing, but it doesn't mean it's the wrong thing. So go for it. If there's something you're interested in enough right now to choose it at all, even consider choosing it, then it's not the wrong thing.

So go for it.

What If You Actually Do End Up in a Terrible Job?

Okay, but let's say you do choose something and it turns out to be, objectively, a bad situation. A terrible boss. Toxic coworkers. Dysfunctional organization. What then?

Stop wasting time typing "I hate my job" into Google.

Most of us have had at least one. That terrible job. The one that makes you dread Mondays, count the clock on Fridays, and cringe the rest of the time.

It could be terrible management, overly competitive coworkers, a wrong role fit, one bad boss, or a completely disorganized organization.

It goes without saying that if you're dealing with abuse or harassment, escape ASAP. If you're just miserable but not in danger, be proactive and move on to a gig you actually want, not just one that isn't your current situation.

It may take you a bit of time to find your next right thing, so while you're there, make your terrible job a chance to learn.

My Terrible Job Stories (Yes, Really)

I once had a boss who used to have me make her an iced almond milk chai every morning. And no, I wasn't her assistant.

I also had one who looked at me square in the face and said, "I'd rather be dead than fat."

I had another who would have me wake him from under his desk as he "jokingly" asked me to make him a Bloody Mary and to file his expenses, which included strip club receipts. No, I'm absolutely not kidding, and no, that definitely wasn't in my job description.

These jobs were objectively terrible. But you know what? They weren't wrong jobs. They were learning experiences. And I'm going to show you how to treat any "bad" job the same way.

Five Things to Learn from Every Job (Even the Terrible Ones)

No matter how awful, every gig is a chance to learn in-demand job skills. So what do you do to set yourself up for a much better job moving forward?

1. Learn What You Really Want to Do

As long as you don't get bogged down in the negativity cesspool, you can use a terrible job to clarify your career path.

Once you have identified WHY you hate this job, you can define what job would be a better fit and go after it specifically. On a broader level, use this job not to just define aspects that you don't like but WHY you don't like those things.

Do you dislike your boss because she's "mean," or is it that she is truly a poor communicator? Is your boss being unreasonable with 7 a.m. conference call requests, or is it that you actually hate the role of Social Marketing Coordinator?

This level of specificity is gold. Most people never get this clear on what they don't want, which means they can't get clear on what they do want.

A "wrong" job teaches you exactly what your non-negotiables are. Maybe it's autonomy. Maybe it's work-life balance. Maybe it's collaborative culture. Maybe it's creative freedom. You won't know until you experience the absence of these things.

2. Learn How to Network

Most of the time, you are not alone in a "bad job." There are others in those trenches with you, and those types of bonds tend to be strong.

In a few months, after you've all moved on, you'll have a nifty network to build on. Clients you worked well with, the understanding HR director, even the "bad" boss or overly competitive coworker may be useful connections in the future. So try not to burn bridges on exit.

I know it's tempting to go out in a blaze of glory, telling everyone exactly what you think of them. Don't. The world is smaller than you think, and industries are even smaller. That terrible boss might end up at your dream company. That toxic coworker might be hiring for a role you want in five years.

Stay professional. Be gracious. Build relationships where you can. You never know when those connections will matter.

3. Learn How to Beef Up Your Resume

A future boss won't know that your poorly trained manager screamed at the intern in every meeting or, like one friend of mine, whose boss was a well-known phone thrower.

What they will know is your title, responsibilities, wins, and company name. Assuming you have stuck it out longer than a few weeks, more experience on your resume always looks great.

Just be sure to not badmouth the screamer or thrower in a future job interview. That makes you, not them, look bad.

Even in a dysfunctional environment, you accomplished things. You solved problems. You learned systems. You developed skills. Document those. Quantify your wins. Build your case for the next opportunity.

Every job, even the terrible ones, gives you material for your professional story. Use it.

4. Learn How to Manage (By Learning What NOT to Do)

Let's face it. In most cases, a "bad job" is a bad boss.

Stay professional, be as effective as you can, watch them, and learn what not to do. What do they do that rubs employees the wrong way? How do they treat their peers versus their direct reports? When you work your way up to a leadership position elsewhere, be sure to not emulate their actions.

Be the boss you wish you had.

I learned more about good management from bad bosses than I ever learned from good ones. The good ones made it look easy. The bad ones showed me exactly where things fall apart.

The boss who made me get her chai every morning? She taught me that respect isn't automatic with a title. You earn it through how you treat people.

The one who made the "dead than fat" comment? She taught me that your personal issues don't belong in the workplace and that creating a safe, professional environment is a manager's responsibility.

The one passed out under his desk? He taught me that you can't lead if you can't show up, literally and figuratively.

These are valuable lessons. Painful, but valuable.

5. Learn How to Communicate

This is the ultimate chance to hone your communication skills.

When you have shoddy management, you were hired for a job they're not having you do, or downsizing has left you insanely overloaded, you will spend time having uncomfortable conversations.

This is your chance to learn how to handle these situations professionally. Be calm, rational, proactive, not defensive, and go into each interaction with facts and a cool head. You may not "win" every discussion, but you'll certainly have taken the high road and gained an incredibly useful skill.

Learning to communicate effectively in a dysfunctional environment is like training at high altitude. When you get to a healthy workplace, everything feels easier.

You learn to document everything. You learn to manage up. You learn to set boundaries. You learn to advocate for yourself. You learn to navigate difficult personalities. These are career-long skills that will serve you everywhere you go.

The Truth About "Wrong" Jobs

So instead of sitting around all day asking "Should I get a new job?" take this layover in job hell as a HUGE chance to learn. There is value in every experience and personal connection.

Get creative on the job. The trick is to see the positive aspects of even the most terrible gig. As long as you don't wallow in the backbiting, negative, borderline abusive, catty, or just plain "bad" culture, you're in the winning seat.

Treat it as a not-so-pleasant but still professional learning experience, and before you know it, you'll be moving on to a much better job with a boatload of new skills under your hat.

Here's what I want you to understand: even if you choose a job that turns out to be objectively terrible, it's not the "wrong" job. It's a learning experience. It's a stepping stone. It's clarification about what you want and don't want. It's skill building. It's network expansion.

The only truly wrong job is one you stay in forever despite being miserable, learning nothing, and taking no action to change your situation.

Stop Waiting for the Perfect Choice

The fear of choosing the wrong job keeps people stuck in analysis paralysis for months, sometimes years. They turn down opportunities because they're not 100 percent sure. They endlessly research and interview and contemplate, waiting for some mythical perfect role that checks every box.

Meanwhile, they're not learning. They're not growing. They're not building connections. They're not collecting experiences that clarify what they actually want.

You know what clarifies what you want? Doing things. Trying things. Even things that don't work out.

Your career is not a straight line to a predetermined destination. It's an exploration. It's a series of experiments. It's a collection of experiences that build on each other in ways you can't predict.

The ice cream shop job taught you customer service. The ad agency gig taught you deadlines and collaboration. The restaurant job taught you operations and crisis management. The terrible boss taught you resilience and what kind of leader you want to be.

None of these were wrong. They were all necessary to get you where you're going, even if you didn't know where that was at the time.

Your Next Right Thing

So here's what I want you to do: Stop agonizing over whether your next job will be the perfect, forever, right thing.

Choose something that interests you right now. Take the opportunity that excites you, even if it scares you. Try the thing that makes you curious, even if you're not sure it's "the one."

Work there. Learn everything you can. Build relationships. Develop skills. Get clear on what you love and what you hate. Then, when you're ready, make your next move.

There is no wrong job. There are only experiences. Some are better than others, sure. But all of them teach you something if you're paying attention.

And if you end up in a truly terrible situation? Use the five strategies above to extract every bit of value from it while you plan your escape. You're not stuck. You're learning. You're building your resume, your skills, your network, and your clarity about what you want.

Then you move on, wiser and more equipped for the next thing.

Your career is long. You have time to try different things. You have permission to pivot. You have the right to change your mind.

So go for it.

Yours in there are no wrong choices goodness,

EBS

Stuck in a Career Rut? How to Find Fulfillment (Even If You're Bored Out of Your Mind)

Are you bored at work? Like, did you just type "bored at work" into Google again, bored?

Not just "I can't wait for this meeting to be over, I guess I'll just keep watching Bridgerton on the QT for another 15 minutes" bored, but 100 percent stuck in a rut, been in the same role for years, get paid too well to leave, what else would I do bored?

Let me guess: you love your job. (Dang, you're lucky!) Or you like your job. (Well done.) Or you hate your job and can't wait to clock out. (Looks like you need a new job, but I digress.)

What do all three of these have in common? The fact that none of them necessarily equal fulfillment.

Here's the thing: career fulfillment is a 100 percent personal concept.

What Fulfillment Actually Means (And Why You Probably Haven't Defined It)

"Fulfillment" doesn't mean you need to wake up every day with hearts and rainbows in your eyes about your job, but it does need to mean that you get true satisfaction from it beyond a paycheck.

What is a fulfilling "dream job" for one person could be a nightmare for another, so you will need to define what "fulfillment" means for you.

I work mostly with clients that are unfulfilled in their current jobs and careers, but they often can't tell me why. They've never asked themselves why either.

I often have clients in creative fields who spend all day asking the big creative questions for clients but forget how to be creative in their own lives and careers. They're so busy solving everyone else's problems that they never turn that analytical, creative thinking inward.

This is where you are right now, isn't it? Stuck, bored, maybe even stressed, but unable to articulate exactly what's missing or what would make it better.

Let's fix that.

Understanding Your Rut: Six Questions You Need to Answer

Let's be honest. Ruts are comfortable. We know what to expect. The surprises are few. Especially when it comes to careers, people fear the unknown to the point of setting up housekeeping in their job fjord.

Hey, you might be miserable in your rut, but you know just what that misery entails. However, humans are curious by nature. Our brains crave novelty.

If you are finally frustrated enough with your rut to climb up and out, it can be done.

First things first: you're in a rut for a reason. So how do you get motivated to get out of your rut? Go grab your beverage of choice and a pen, pencil, Google doc, whatever you like, and get ready to ask yourself a few questions.

In order to get motivated, start with the reason you're feeling the way you do:

Question 1: What is the rut I'm in? Exactly why are you bored at work?

List out all the nitty-gritty reasons. You need to get down to the specifics. Not just your "job," but what exactly about your job makes you feel as if you're lounging at the bottom of the Grand Canyon.

Is it the repetitive tasks? The lack of growth opportunities? The people? The company culture? The industry itself? Get specific. "I hate my job" isn't useful. "I'm bored because I've been doing the exact same projects for three years with no new challenges" is something you can work with.

Question 2: Do I really want out of this rut?

Once you identify your rut, you need to get real with yourself. Do you actually want out? OR do you just want to complain about it?

Because complaining is comfortable too. It gives you something to bond with coworkers over. It gives you an excuse for why other things in your life aren't working. Sometimes we're more attached to our misery than we want to admit.

So be honest: do you actually want things to change, or do you just want to vent?

Question 3: How did you get in this rut?

You really want out? Great. Exactly how did you get into the one you're in now? History is doomed to repeat and all that jazz.

Did you take the safe option instead of the exciting one? Did you prioritize money over meaning? Did you stop learning and growing? Did you say yes to things you should have said no to? Did you avoid having hard conversations about what you needed?

Understanding how you got here helps you avoid making the same choices again.

Question 4: Why did you get in this rut?

Why did you let yourself get into the place you're in now? Who do you need to "be" so that it doesn't happen again?

Were you afraid of change? Avoiding confrontation? Chasing external validation? Following someone else's definition of success instead of your own?

This is about understanding your patterns, not beating yourself up. You made the choices you made for reasons that made sense at the time. Now you get to make different choices.

Question 5: What is keeping you in this rut?

What do you think is keeping you there now? Are these real obstacles or are they excuses?

The golden handcuffs of a good salary? Fear of the unknown? Inertia? Lack of clarity about what else you'd do? Belief that you're too old, too inexperienced, too whatever to change?

Some obstacles are real. Some are stories we tell ourselves. Figure out which is which.

Question 6: What would you do if you weren't in this rut?

Here's the fun stuff. If you weren't stuck on this hamster wheel, what would you do with your days? What job would you be thriving at? What new challenges would you take on?

I'm serious when I say you should literally write down your answers. Sometimes seeing things out on the page makes them more "real." Less bat-away-able.

The Power of Visualization (Yes, Really)

One exercise I go through with my clients is one that almost ALL coaches use. It doesn't matter if you coach basketball, chess, or careers, the same truly effective, awesomely creative exercise is: visualization.

I know, I know. It sounds cheesy. But visualization is the real deal. Studies have shown that just the act of visualization can produce a 45 percent success rate.

And this is something you can do on the couch while sporting your nasty sweatpants from college. You know the ones.

Here's how it works. It's a three-parter:

Step A: Visualize the end product you're hoping to achieve

Not just "I want a better job." Get specific. What does your ideal workday look like? Where are you? Who are you working with? What kind of problems are you solving? What does it feel like to be doing work that fulfills you?

Close your eyes and really picture it. See the details. The office or home setup. The projects you're working on. The energy you feel. The satisfaction at the end of the day.

Step B: Mentally list the reasons why you want this outcome

Why does this matter to you? What will it give you that you don't have now? Freedom? Creative expression? Financial security? Impact? Growth? Connection?

Get clear on your "why" because that's what will sustain you through the hard work of change.

Step C: Repeat that list of goodness to yourself until it's set in mental stone

Your brain doesn't know the difference between visualization and reality. Creating a picture in your mind tricks your mind into thinking it's real. That it can, will, and has happened.

So you want to switch gears and move into a creative role but your portfolio is a mess? Visualize a totally stunning portfolio that you can send out to recruiters. Really picture each page and how it will be seen by all the amazed hiring managers out there.

See, your brain made it happen. Now your hands just need to get on board.

Ten Ways to Reduce Stress and Increase Fulfillment Right Now

While you're working on getting out of your rut, here are ten ways to make your current work situation more bearable and maybe even discover some fulfillment where you are.

1. Do Meaningful Work

I don't mean you have to save all the trees, manatees, or homeless one-eared cats, although I'm pro all those things. You just need to do work that is meaningful to you.

The more connected you feel to your work, the more it aligns with your values, the more you will be energized and not stressed by it. Having a sense of meaning makes employees happier, and happier employees are just less stressed.

If you're struggling to find meaning in your day-to-day work, try asking yourself: "Other than to pay the rent, why am I working so hard?" "What is this work's purpose?"

There should be at least a minimum of meaning there. If you absolutely cannot come up with a single bit of meaning, it might be time for some career changes.

2. Follow Your Path

I'm not talking "follow your bliss" style here. I'm talking career path. If you are reaching your career goals by following the career growth path you designed, you will feel fulfilled, make better decisions, and be less stressed.

If you don't have a career path designed, that might be part of your problem.

3. Find a Buddy

Work wife, desk husband, cubie bestie. Whatever you call it. Find one. According to the Harvard Business Review, work friends make us more productive and generally more happy and less stressed. Even if it's a colleague that you have a good rapport with and only occasionally have lunch with, personal connections on the job are good for your morale.

4. Make It Personal

Your space, that is. You want to feel comfortable, at ease, and "at home." Plants, personal pics, a cozy wrap thrown over the back of your chair, a customized screensaver, or a hand-drawn pic from your weird little niece. Decorate your space and make it feel like you. Even, especially if you're working from home. Make your workspace your personal workspace.

5. Don't Be a Dick

This should go without saying, but if you're nice to people, they'll be nice to you and help you when you need it. Seriously, say "please" and "thank you" and mean it.

Be grateful when others help you out, smile genuinely, say hi to the temp receptionist, and not only will you actually be happier and less stressed out, but you'll be contributing to a kinder workplace, which makes everyone less stressed out. It's a very non-vicious cycle.

6. Take a Break

From a particular task. From your desk. From the account guy who drives you bonkers. A cleared-out head allows you to view problems with fresh grey matter.

This goes for a 10-minute break to visit the coffee maker all the way to a full two-week, unplugged vacation. The ability to take a step back, breathe, refresh, and revive relieves stress, allows you to be more productive and creative.

7. Diet (AKA: Don't Eat Junk, Drink Water, and Get Off Your Butt)

For some reason, a lot of people see "work" and "life" as having different rules.

You spend an inordinate amount of your "life" at "work," so it stands to reason that if you wouldn't pound a handful of jellybeans, a chocolate donut, and a double espresso for breakfast on a normal day at home, then you shouldn't at the office or home office for that matter, even if it is free in the breakroom or your kitchen.

The better you eat, the more hydrated you are, and the more you move, the better you'll feel. The better you feel, the better mood you'll be in, and the less things will amp you up and stress you out.

8. Get Organized, Systematized, and Automated

You know what's stressful? Digging through pages of emails for that one little thing your boss wants to discuss right now.

Organizing your files, systems, documents, and processes will reduce unwanted stress by like 827 percent.

Is there an email you need to send weekly and always forget until the last minute and then you stress out about it? Find a way to prep, calendar, and automate that puppy. Organize your digital files in a way that makes sense and make sure to keep on top of it. Will it take a little time upfront? Oh yeah. Will it keep you from ugly crying while your Zoom camera is off? Yes indeed.

9. Breathe and Respond Later

So back to that account guy who pushes every one of your buttons. He's always going to be that guy. Always. If you stress out and focus on making him not that guy, you're in for lots and lots and lots of pointless stress.

Next time he sends out an email that is condescending and uncalled for, do not respond. Immediately anyway. Step away from the moment and, personality differences aside, formulate a non-emotionally charged response that focuses only on the issue at hand. Don't let him bait you. Just because he's an ass doesn't mean you need to get on his level.

10. Keep a List of Wins and Reward Yourself

At the end of each day, week, or month, take a few moments and write down your wins. They can be tiny or huge. Having a record to go back through will remind you of just how much you've accomplished and will not only give you a good feelings boost but also give you ammo for your next raise discussion.

Keeping a record of successes is an emotional reward in itself, but feel free to also physically reward yourself for a job well done. A piece of chocolate for that successful sales call, a spa day for that killer presentation being completed, or tickets to your favorite metal band? Whatever will make you feel happy, relaxed, and accomplished, go for it.

How to Function While You're Still in the Rut

Much like those booty shorts you bought swearing you'd wear ALL THE TIME but still have the tags on, it's now time to either strut your cheeks or charity shop those puppies.

Make a plan. Make it real. Write a contract with yourself if need be. You will grab yourself a donkey and make your way out of rutville, but unless you've just yelled "DEUCES" and peaced out on your current gig, you're going to be hanging out there a bit longer.

So how do you function at your best while dealing with your boredom and antsiness?

Tackle it project by boring project:

Try looking at a single project from a new vantage point. What is the outcome of your project? How will it be used and by whom? How can you make it most useful for them? Stepping out of yourself and finding some empathy for the end user may at least give you a reason to complete the boring task.

Find inspiration elsewhere. Can't imagine how making the logo bigger for the umpteenth time is helpful to anyone? Go flip through a magazine or watch crazy Japanese commercials on YouTube. Check out the new coffee shop down the block that is pure white tile. Looking at new things can make you see old things in a new light.

Switch up the scenery. Take a walk, find a new conference room to hide in, ride your bike at lunch, take the elevator to the 32nd floor. Just do it without any purpose but clearing your head and calming your mind for 20 minutes or so.

So bored you're angry? Do something that guarantees you a laugh. Does Gary in production do an amazing duck impression? Ask him for a command performance. Got a video on your phone of your niece in conversation with the family ficus? Watch it on repeat. Unless you're an evil villain, you can't laugh and be angry at the same time.

The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything

Do you see where all this is going? Mindset shift.

Once you start seeing your larger picture, acknowledging that you got to where you are by doing the things you've thought about or not thought about, hopefully you'll see a way out. The way out starts with simply believing there is one.

Take a step back, breathe, acknowledge where you are currently, but don't beat yourself up about it. Address it and move on.

Incorporate these practices into your daily work life and soon enough you'll be a stress-free, coolio cucumber. And if you need more than ten strategies, what you really need is a new job. Have a plan for that yet?

Because here's the truth: fulfillment isn't about finding the perfect job that makes you deliriously happy every single day. It's about doing work that aligns with your values, challenges you in the right ways, allows you to use your strengths, and gives you satisfaction beyond a paycheck.

Only you can define what that looks like for you. But you have to actually do the defining. You have to ask yourself the hard questions. You have to visualize what you want. You have to take action, even small action, to move toward it.

Up and out, my friend. Your fulfilled career is waiting.

Yours in climbing out of ruts goodness,

EBS

—-

EB Sanders | Career Coach for Creative Types

I Lost My Dream Job (And Here's What I Learned About Starting Over)

"I lost my job."

Those are some of the most dreaded words in any language.

We've all been there. There was a layoff. The startup shuttered. You got yourself fired. Or it was just an out-and-out unexplained termination.

Job loss happens. It can send you into a tailspin. But it also means that you have an opportunity to get another job. A better job. A job you really want.

I know this because I've lived it. Not once, but through multiple career transitions that forced me to start over when I desperately didn't want to. Let me tell you a story.

True Confessions: I Booty Called My Ex-Career

I used to be a college professor. No, really.

I was a Humanities Professor at several fantastic colleges here in the Bay Area, teaching courses like "The History of Creativity" and "Values and Culture." As I'm sure you know, education and academia is not a cash cow, but I looooooved my job. Like REALLY loved it. So I scrimped, saved, and worked weird little jobs in the cracks between classes to make ends meet.

It was not only a job I loved, but it was my dream job that I had worked incredibly hard to get.

But it all finally came to a head when my options were: (a) move across the country for a tenure track position and be struggling slightly less financially, only now in a place far from home and family, OR (b) find a new career.

How did I feel about my options? I was devastated. It was like a long-term, "this is it forever" romantic relationship ending. It took me months of soul searching and not a few tears to get to a place where I could even acknowledge that there really were other doors.

Wide open doors.

The Part Nobody Talks About: How Freaked Out You'll Be

While I've talked before about what steps I took to find a new job to love, we need to talk about how incredibly freaked out I was.

While intellectually I knew I had to make a career change, I just couldn't give up a job that I loved so much it had been the basis of much of my identity. I was a teacher. That's who I was. Who was I without that?

I made my way back to advertising and marketing, where I had worked before grad school, as I struggled to keep teaching by holding on to one or two night classes. I dabbled in several roles and took a series of jobs that I knew I would hate, which I looked at as a good thing because I thought that somehow I could still make teaching viable. Any other job would "just" be a day job that I could leave when I finally found a way to make teaching work.

It was like booty calling my ex-career.

After TWO, yes TWO, years of drunkenly texting my ex-career, I finally had "the talk" with myself that someone always has to have with you after a breakup. The "IT'S OVER, MOVE ON" talk. The hard truth that your bestie gives you.

But unlike a true breakup, nobody was telling me they "never really liked my career anyway." Nobody understood that I was grieving. Forget bringing over ice cream to help me get through it.

After the talk with myself, I knew the era of the "day job" was over. I needed a new career, for real.

This is the part of job loss nobody prepares you for: the grief, the identity crisis, the desperate clinging to what was, and the terrifying uncertainty of what comes next.

What to Do When You Lose Your Job (The Real Steps)

Whether you lost your job through layoffs, termination, or like me, economic necessity that forced you out of something you loved, here's what you need to do. Not the sanitized version. The real version.

First: Take a Day or Two to Grieve and Breathe

I'm serious. You're allowed to be devastated. You're allowed to be angry. You're allowed to binge-watch trash TV and eat your feelings for 48 hours.

Job loss is loss. Even if you hated the job, you've lost income, routine, identity, and stability. If you loved the job, you've lost a piece of yourself.

So grieve. Feel your feelings. Acknowledge that this sucks.

But set a timer. Give yourself a defined period to wallow, and then it's time to get moving.

Step One: Define Your Next Steps

This is your chance to design your career. Don't let this opportunity pass you by.

I know that sounds ridiculous when you're panicking about how to pay rent. But hear me out: instead of letting your next job just happen to you, you now have the rare opportunity to actively design where you want to be, who you want to be, and what you want to be.

Most people drift through their careers, taking whatever comes next, moving laterally or slightly up, never questioning if they're on a path they actually want. Job loss, as painful as it is, gives you permission and necessity to ask the hard questions.

Ask yourself:

• What did I love about my last job? What did I hate?

• What would I do differently if I could start over?

• What have I been putting off or ignoring because I was comfortable?

• If money wasn't the primary concern, what would I be doing?

• What skills do I have that I haven't been using?

• What kind of work environment actually makes me thrive?

Don't rush past this step. This is the foundation of everything that comes next.

Step Two: Get Honest About Your Situation

You need to assess where you are financially, professionally, and emotionally.

Financial reality check:

• How long can you survive without income?

• Do you need any job immediately, or do you have runway to be selective?

• What's your absolute minimum salary requirement?

• Can you freelance or consult while you search?

Professional inventory:

• What transferable skills do you have?

• What's your network like? Who can you reach out to?

• What does your LinkedIn, resume, and portfolio look like? Do they need updating?

• What gaps in your skills or experience might you need to address?

Emotional honesty:

• Are you ready to move forward, or are you still in the anger/bargaining phase?

• What are you most afraid of?

• What stories are you telling yourself about why you lost your job or what it means about you?

I spent two years trying to make teaching work when it was clearly not viable. Don't do what I did. Get honest with yourself quickly.

Step Three: Update Your Materials and Get Visible

Before you do anything else, you need to update your LinkedIn, resume, and portfolio. You need to tell your network you're available. You need to make yourself visible and ready.

This isn't just about job hunting mechanics. It's about shifting your identity from "person who lost their job" to "professional actively pursuing their next opportunity."

Immediate actions:

• Update LinkedIn with your most recent accomplishments and skills

• Write a brief, professional post letting your network know you're open to opportunities

• Refresh your resume with recent wins and quantifiable achievements

• If relevant, update your portfolio with your best recent work

• Reach out to five people in your network just to reconnect (not to ask for jobs, just to touch base)

Step Four: Decide What You're Actually Looking For

This is where the design work from Step One pays off. You now need to get specific about what you're targeting.

Are you looking for the same role in a different company? A similar role in a different industry? A completely different career path?

The more specific you can be, the more you can target your search and the more your network can help you.

I knew I wanted to continue educating and helping people find their thing. I knew I liked helping people figure their own stuff out. But I had NO IDEA what form that would take in a career.

All signs were pointing toward "coach," but I absolutely did not want to be a coach. At the time, there was still a stigma around coaching. The common perception was that there were only two versions: executive coaching for the uber high-level or woo-woo life coaching for the LA-based.

I wasn't up for either. But educating people on how to navigate their careers? I knew I wanted to do that.

It took working with my own career coach to get that clarity. Don't be afraid to get help figuring this out.

Step Five: Execute Your Search Strategically

Job searching isn't about sending out 100 resumes into the void. It's about strategic, targeted outreach combined with visibility.

Your strategy should include:

Targeted applications: Apply to roles you actually want at companies you've researched. Customize each application to show why you specifically fit that specific role.

Network outreach: Reach out to people in your network, former colleagues, and new connections. Let them know what you're looking for. Ask for informational interviews. Most jobs are filled through connections, not job boards.

Recruiter relationships: Connect with recruiters in your field. They have access to opportunities you don't. Build relationships with them, not just transactional interactions.

Skill building: If you have time, take courses or get certifications in areas where you have gaps. Show you're actively growing, not just searching.

Side work: If financially necessary and you have bandwidth, take on freelance or contract work. It keeps money flowing and your skills sharp while you search for the right full-time role.

Step Six: Don't Settle Too Quickly (But Also Don't Hold Out for Perfect)

This is the hardest balance to strike. You need income. You need stability. But you also don't want to jump into another job you'll hate just because it's there.

Here's my advice: know your non-negotiables versus your nice-to-haves. Be flexible on the nice-to-haves. Don't compromise on the non-negotiables unless you absolutely have to for financial survival.

And if you do have to take a survival job to pay bills while you keep searching for the right fit? That's okay. That's not failure. That's being smart and strategic.

I took several jobs I knew I would hate while trying to keep teaching viable. I thought of them as day jobs. Looking back, I wasted two years. But I learned what I didn't want, which eventually helped me figure out what I did want.

What I Know Now That I Wish I'd Known Then

After going through this twice—leaving teaching and later transitioning from recruiting into full-time coaching—here's what I wish someone had told me:

Job loss is not a referendum on your worth. Whether you were laid off, fired, or forced out by circumstances, it doesn't mean you're not talented, valuable, or capable. It means circumstances changed.

Grief is part of the process. Don't rush past it, but also don't get stuck in it. Set boundaries around your grieving period, then get moving.

This is actually an opportunity. I know that sounds like toxic positivity when you're panicking about rent. But it's true. Most people never get the chance to reset and redesign their career path. You have that chance now.

You don't have to figure it out alone. Use career coaches, recruiters, your network, anyone who can help you get clarity and opportunity. I tried to do it alone for too long. Getting help accelerated everything.

The path isn't linear. My path went: professor → various miserable marketing jobs → recruiting → coaching. It wasn't a straight line. Yours won't be either. That's normal.

Your next job doesn't have to be your forever job. Just because you're unemployed now doesn't mean you have to find your perfect, forever career immediately. Find something good that moves you forward. You can always pivot later.

You're Going to Be Okay

Job loss is terrifying. I know. I've been there, grieving a career I loved, panicking about money, questioning my identity and worth.

But you know what? I'm on the other side now, doing work I love that I never would have found if I hadn't lost that teaching job. I help people navigate exactly what I went through. And I can't imagine doing anything else.

Your next chapter is out there. You just have to get honest with yourself, give yourself permission to grieve and then move forward, and be strategic about what you're building next.

Take your day or two to grieve and breathe. Then start defining your next steps. Design where you want to be, who you want to be, and what you want to be.

This is your chance. Don't waste it by just letting the next thing happen to you.

Yours in you're going to land somewhere even better goodness,

EBS

You Don't Have to Figure Out Your Career Alone (Here's How to Get Help)

Before I work with any client, I always ask them one question:

"What is the number one thing holding you back from career success?"

I get dozens of answers. Dozens and dozens. Like, way too many dozens of eggs left over from a Halloween prank-fest dozens.

But all of those answers are rewordings of one single problem. Always.

It's always: "A clear focus on what I want to be doing."

I hear you. So loud. So clear. Trust me when I tell you I know the frustration. The feeling that somehow everyone else has been let in on some secret that you're not cool enough to know.

The secret though? That's nonsense. Most people feel the same way you do.

Why Nobody Taught You How to Manage Your Career

Why? What the hell, man? It's because we're not taught how to manage our careers. We're taught what to know to get certain jobs and sometimes how to get jobs, but rarely, if ever, how to figure out what we want to do for a living, much less manage our careers once we're in them.

We're left to our own devices and frazzled HR directors and recruiters who have no time to have a career growth chat because they have to run payroll, get the new benefits system up and running, and talk to Joe about not wearing his daisy dukes, yes, even on casual Fridays.

So what then? What are you supposed to do?

You had no idea career coaching was a thing? Well, it IS a thing. And it's a thing TOTALLY not related to your strange high school counselor. You know, the one with the tiny office who always had a half-eaten cup of applesauce on her desk for some reason?

Here's what you need to understand: you absolutely don't have to figure out your career all by yourself. It's not just a good idea to get objective help in this arena, it's actually the smart thing to do.

What Career Coaching Actually Is (And Why You Might Need It)

So what is career coaching all about exactly, and who does it benefit?

I might be biased, but I think everyone, YES, everyone could benefit from a career coach. "Why?" you may be asking after you've finished making that dismissive sound.

Because first off, you need to be sure you're in the right career for you. And secondly, no matter your gig, stay-at-home parent or oil rig worker, you NEED a plan. A career plan allows you to strategically go after growth and opportunity. It allows you to see the big picture of where you want to go and how you want to travel that path.

Think about it: you wouldn't start a business without a business plan. You wouldn't build a house without blueprints. You wouldn't take a cross-country road trip without at least looking at a map. So why would you navigate something as crucial as your career, which takes up the majority of your waking hours for the majority of your adult life, without any strategic planning whatsoever?

Most people spend more time planning their two-week vacation than they do planning their career trajectory. That's bananas.

A career coach helps you:

• Get crystal clear on what you actually want, not what you think you should want

• Identify your unique strengths and how to leverage them

• Create a strategic plan for getting from where you are to where you want to be

• Navigate transitions, whether you're changing careers, industries, or roles

• Build confidence in your value and learn to communicate it effectively

• Hold you accountable to your goals when motivation wanes

• See patterns and possibilities you're too close to see yourself

It's like having a personal trainer for your career. You could figure out how to get in shape on your own, sure. But having someone who knows what they're doing, who can see what you can't, who can push you when you need pushing and support you when you're struggling, makes the whole process faster, easier, and more effective.

Each week I send a personal email, straight to your digital doorstep that gives you the real deal lowdown on how to Find Your Thing, define success for yourself, make money doing meaningful work and…… sometimes pictures of my dog. Because he’s cute. Get in on the list below and get the goodness, exclusive discounts, tips & tricks and those highly sought after dog pics. 

All the Ways You Can Get Career Help (Beyond Coaching)

Now I know private coaching isn't an option for everyone. So many coaches offer lower-cost group programs or self-paced online courses. But coaching isn't the only option. Below is a roundup of resources you might find helpful.

Career Blogs

You could start with career blogs. There are so many talented people out there offering help to you, for free, consistently. Reading career development blogs gives you access to insights, strategies, and perspectives you wouldn't have otherwise.

The key is finding voices that resonate with you. Not every career expert's approach will work for your personality or situation. Read widely, take what serves you, and leave the rest.

Comprehensive Interactive Websites

You can hit up some super comprehensive, totally interactive websites like The Muse or Career Contessa. These platforms offer everything from career advice articles to job listings to company reviews. They're one-stop shops for career exploration and job searching.

The Muse, in particular, has amazing company profiles that give you a behind-the-scenes look at what it's actually like to work there. Career Contessa focuses specifically on helping women navigate their careers and has incredible resources for everything from salary negotiation to career pivots.

Books

If you're a more tactile person and you prefer a good book, try picking up a copy of "Born for This" by Chris Guillebeau or "A Job to Love" from The School of Life.

Books allow you to go deep on a topic, work through exercises at your own pace, and return to concepts as you need them. The downside? They can't give you personalized feedback or hold you accountable. But as part of a larger strategy, they're invaluable.

Other excellent career books to consider:

• "Designing Your Life" by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans

• "What Color Is Your Parachute?" by Richard N. Bolles (a classic for a reason)

• "The Pathfinder" by Nicholas Lore

Recruiters and Temp Agencies

Want someone to do the heavy lifting for you? Leverage recruiters and even temp agencies. Their job is to analyze your skills and place you in a job you'd thrive in. You could try some national agencies like Premier Staffing or Robert Half.

Here's what many people don't realize: good recruiters aren't just trying to fill positions. They're trying to make matches that work long-term. They have insights into company cultures, hiring managers' personalities, and what skills are actually in demand. They can often see opportunities you wouldn't have known to look for.

The key is building relationships with recruiters in your field, not just reaching out when you're desperate for a job. Touch base regularly, keep them updated on your skills and goals, and be responsive when they reach out.

Assessment Tools and Tests

You could try taking a few tests. There is one called StrengthsFinder that many companies rely on. Once you know what your strengths are, you can make sure you are focusing on those in whatever role you're in because working to your strengths equals happiness.

Oprah apparently has an awesome and free career assessment test tool.

Other assessment tools worth exploring:

• Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) - helps you understand your personality type and how you work best

• CliftonStrengths (formerly StrengthsFinder) - identifies your top five strengths

• DISC Assessment - focuses on behavioral styles and communication preferences

• VIA Character Strengths - identifies your core character strengths

The caveat with tests: they're great starting points for self-reflection, but they're not gospel. Use them as conversation starters with yourself, not as definitive answers about who you are and what you should do.

Career Coaches (Yes, Really)

And of course, there are career coaches. It truly IS the most comprehensive and impactful option.

Why? Because coaching is personalized, strategic, and accountability-driven in a way that no book, blog, or assessment tool can be.

A career coach sees YOU. Not a general audience, not test-takers in aggregate, but you specifically. They help you dig into your unique situation, identify your specific roadblocks, and create a customized plan that actually works for your life.

They also call you on your patterns. That thing you keep doing that's holding you back? The story you keep telling yourself about why you can't? The opportunity you keep missing because you're not seeing it? A good coach spots that stuff and helps you work through it.

And critically, they hold you accountable. It's easy to set goals. It's hard to follow through, especially when you're doing it alone. A coach checks in, tracks your progress, and helps you course-correct when you get off track.

There are so many amazing coaches out there. You just need to do a little research to find the best one for you. Look for someone whose approach resonates, whose clients get results, and who you feel you could trust with your career aspirations and fears.

Many coaches offer free consultations so you can get a feel for their style before committing. Take advantage of these. Chemistry matters in coaching relationships.

How to Choose What's Right for You

See what I'm getting at? Don't feel like you've got to do it on your own. Try one, two, or a few, whatever feels good to you. But don't leave your career to chance. Figure out what you love to do, want to do, and make a plan.

Here's how to think about combining resources:

If you're just starting to explore: Begin with free resources like blogs, books, and assessment tools. Get familiar with career development concepts and start thinking about what you want.

If you're ready to make a move but need direction: Consider working with a recruiter or taking a structured online course. These give you more guidance and accountability than DIY resources.

If you're serious about major change or growth: Invest in coaching, whether group or one-on-one. This is where you get personalized strategy, deep work on mindset blocks, and accountability that actually moves the needle.

If money is tight: Start with free resources and group programs. Many coaches offer lower-cost group coaching that gives you most of the benefits of one-on-one work at a fraction of the price. Look for scholarships, sliding-scale options, or payment plans.

If you learn best by doing: Consider temp work or informational interviews alongside your other resources. Sometimes the best way to figure out what you want is to try things, even temporarily.

The Bottom Line: Your Career Is Too Important to Wing It

Here's what I want you to take away from this: the fact that you feel lost or unclear about your career direction doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. It means you weren't taught how to navigate this crucial part of your life.

But you can learn. And you don't have to learn alone.

The resources exist. The help is available. Coaches, recruiters, books, websites, assessment tools, they're all there waiting for you to use them.

Your career is going to take up roughly 90,000 hours of your life. That's too big a chunk of your existence to just hope it works out. You deserve to be strategic. You deserve to have a plan. You deserve support in figuring out what you actually want and how to get there.

So stop trying to figure it all out by yourself. Stop feeling like you should magically know what to do. Stop comparing yourself to people who seem to have it all figured out. They probably don't, or they got help getting there.

Get the support you need. Use the resources available. Build your plan.

Your career is waiting. And you don't have to find your way there alone.

Yours in you've got so much help available goodness,

EBS

Scared to Make a Career Move? Here's How to Take Action Anyway (Without Letting Fear Win)

Fear.

So many clients come to me out of fear. They say things like:

"I know I need a new career but I'm afraid." "I'm afraid I will never find my passion." "I want a new job, but I'm afraid I won't get one." "I need to do something I love but I'm afraid it won't happen." "I deserve a promotion but I'm afraid to ask." "I want to switch departments but I'm afraid they'll say no." "I want to start my own business but I'm totally overwhelmed."

SO. MUCH. FEAR.

All the fears. Which are totally rational, by the way. Making any change is scary. Making career changes, where your livelihood is at stake? Freakin' terrifying.

I wish I had a magic wand and I could make their fear disappear. But I don't and I can't. Does that mean that they are stuck with this career-crippling fear forever?

Absolutely not. IF they decide to tackle it head on.

Why Your Career Can't Be on Autopilot

Okay, I know you're hungover and your boss is being a pain and your Zoom keeps crashing, again, but you gotta focus. On you. Yup. Right now.

If you're cruising along thinking that careers just grow, blossom, and "work out" on their own, it's wake-up call time.

Your career is like that nifty succulent on your desk. It doesn't need to be replanted every day, but it does need care, attention, and sometimes water. Are you drinking enough water, by the way?

What I'm getting at here is that your career is your job. You have to work at it, at work. Make sense? You gotta drive this boat. You gotta do this thing, and the best way is to do it little by little.

The last few years have been a special kind of dumpster fire. There are some terrible things afoot. Employment rates continue to fluctuate wildly, and I know that can be terrifying. However, there is also some good stuff coming out of all this too.

No matter your job, career, or employment status at the minute, you should know that you absolutely can accelerate your career right now.

Remember, a single job is not your career. Your career is a collection of those jobs, freelance experiences, and businesses. So while you may be unemployed, taking a gig to tide you over, on furlough, or doing just fine, there are actions you can implement right now to get things on track and actually accelerate your career.

Here's the truth: if you want your career to be bigger, to be better, to do more than before, you need to take action. Not huge actions. Small, sometimes totally imperfect, big-time baby steps.

How to Move Through Fear (Five Steps)

Confronting your fear can be, well, frightening. How's that for meta? Follow these steps and you'll be well on your way to moving past those big fear blocks.

Step 1: Congratulate yourself for considering change

Honestly, it's a big deal. So many people never even get to the point where they move past being unhappy to actually making a decision to do something about it. You're ahead of the pack already.

Step 2: Accept that you're scared, acknowledge the fear

Fear is real and it's intense. Trying to pretend you're not scared doesn't help anyone or anything. Once you sit back, acknowledge that you're scared, but decide to move forward anyway, that's where things get real.

Step 3: Visualize the outcome of NOT taking any action

A good friend clued me into this concept when I was having trouble moving past something because I was frightened. And man oh man was she right. Find a quiet space, clear your head for a second, and just visualize. Visualize what will happen if you do nothing. How will you feel one month, six months, one year from now? The results of inaction are far more likely to be scarier than anything moving forward might bring.

Step 4: Take your time and be intentional

Now that you've decided to make something happen, don't just go running around the office yelling "BURN IT DOOOOWWWWN!" Take a few more moments to decide on a plan of action. You don't have to have it all figured out, but you do need at least a broad-strokes plan. You want to make your next move carefully and intentionally. But here's the cool thing: your next move is tiny. Like sooo little. Shhhh tiiiiinnnnyyy.

Step 5: Commit to doing one very small thing toward the change that scares you

I mean tiny. Minuscule. Really freaking small. Something like: putting some time on your calendar to research salaries for that role you have your eye on. Just block out 30 minutes on your calendar. That's it.

Write out a list of five people who inspire you. On a Post-it. Stick it on your desk. That's it. Just five.

Find an article to message the manager of that cool department you want to break into. That's all. Just find the article.

One TINY step will lead to another and another, and soon enough you'll have taken one actual full-sized step.

That's it. You, my friend, are now officially on your way and walking through all that fear. Well done you.

Ten Daily Actions That Accelerate Your Career (Despite the Fear)

I don't want you to get bogged down in a major career overhaul. I want you to get moving on small actions. All it takes is: one goal, one action, each day.

None of these take a ton of work, but their impact is huge. Give one or all a shot and see how far you go. And don't forget to hydrate.

1. Network like crazy

I don't care what industry you work in, what role you have, what your goals are. You HAVE TO network.

Good news is there are so many ways to network. You can absolutely find one that works for you. Totally online? Fine. Only in person? Great, pandemics permitting. Speed networking at hyperspecific conferences? You do you. Just do something.

Also be sure to choose a consistent action like: take out one person for coffee a month, ask for two informational interviews per week, or email one industry insider each day.

Keeping your network up-to-date, warm, and dynamic is genuinely the best thing you can do for your career. Keeping yourself top-of-mind, keeping yourself informed, keeping yourself connected can do exponentially more than a bag full of specialized skills and deep-dive know-how.

The old adage "it's not what you know but who you know" truly is a force. People recommend other people that they know, like, and trust. Someone else may know more than you, but if you know the right person, the job is yours. The project is yours. The corner office is yours.

Continue to build that know, like, and trust factor throughout the year and your career will expand in leaps and bounds.

2. Follow one industry leader, innovator, or insider each day on some social platform

LinkedIn is fantastic obviously, but other platforms like TikTok, and Instagram can be great too. Especially if you're in a creative field. But wait, there's more. Don't be a passive lurker. Interact with them.

Get to know them and they'll get to know you. You'll be surprised what kind of mentorship and opportunity can come from being actively engaged on socials.

Another old adage to take in here is: the only way to get better at tennis is by playing someone better than you.

This goes for most things. To become better at something, anything, you need to be challenged, you need to be questioned, you need to have to fend off a few serves flying at your face at full force.

The best way to be challenged is through mentorship, guidance, and inspiration. You can find those things by becoming immersed in the worlds of leaders, innovators, and insiders within your industry.

Follow them, interact with them, get to know what they know, and ideally get them to know you.

3. Have one priority to-do

What do you need to accomplish at work, in your job search, job growth, or career learning each day that needs your attention but has a habit of getting shuffled to the back burner?

Start each day by knocking out one to-do. If it's a big project at work, maybe you hop on it before you even look at your emails. If it's a class that you're taking, how about booking a conference room for 30 minutes and completing a module before lunch?

4. Research

Spend a few minutes each week researching your industry and your role. Check out industry news, research your company's competitors, research the salary for your role, research how and what tech will be changing your role.

Information and learning are key to growing. You can't cut a path to your career if you don't know the landscape.

Knowledge truly is power. The more you know about your role within the industry and what makes you unique and impactful, the more bargaining power you have when it comes to getting the initiatives you want, being on the team you want, and getting the money you deserve.

Spend this week learning all you can, but don't let it only be this week. Keep on top of this info. Don't let it go stale. Make sure you're in the know and use that knowledge.

5. Get on the calendar

Here's one you only need two minutes to do. Today.

Book some time on your manager's calendar to talk to her about your goals. Don't wait for review time. Ask how you can proactively grow in your role. Ask for active mentorship.

Unless you are vocal, your manager may have NO IDEA that you want more. They might be so buried in their own deliverables lists that they aren't paying attention to the fact that you haven't taken on more responsibility since last year. Your manager should want to help you grow. If they are resistant, they may not be the best manager for you.

6. Sign yourself up to learn a new transferable skill

It could be software, hardware, communications, leadership, almost anything. Ask HR if there's a company learning and development program. Or maybe they reimburse some tuition? Or they'll let you expense that one online course.

If no, find something you're itching to learn that grows your skills list and find a class you can afford and register yourself ASAP.

If you are currently looking, look at the job descriptions for that next great gig you have your eye on. Is there a skill gap you need to fill? There are a million inexpensive and free options for e-learning. Research the course, certificate, or program you need and get started.

7. This year's goal

Write down one thing you want to accomplish in your career or on the job in the remainder of this year. Then after your big, fat, juicy thing, write down all the teeny, tiny things it's going to take to get it done.

When you see it laid out in bite-sized steps, it stops seeming so overwhelmingly large and wayyyyyy more doable. Now put some time on your calendar, daily, to get those small steps done.

8. Next year's goal

Write down one thing you want to accomplish in the beginning of next year. Then follow the same process as your end-of-year project and make a plan to get it done.

9. Read

Read. Read more. And then read something else. It can be books, articles, magazines, journals, whatever is relevant for your industry and even some things that aren't. Have you seen the 1980s opus Working Girl? If not, go do it now. Because Tess, the lead, works her way to the top by reading and being smart enough to put the pieces together. Also, you can just watch it for the hair.

10. Update

Every week do some updating of your LinkedIn, resume, and portfolio. There's a few reasons.

First, when you are ready to jump ship, you'll be all good to go. Second, when you do decide to job hunt, you won't tip off your boss. Nothing is more of a red flag than an employee who suddenly has an updated profile. Third, this will help you keep track of your latest and greatest accomplishments so that when you talk to management about that raise, it will be all right there.

If you are currently looking, then this needs to be priority number one. You have to sell yourself into the gig you want, and these are your sales materials.

The Bottom Line on Fear and Action

Again, none of these actions take a ton of work, but they do take action. Actions need action. Get it? See what I did there?

All kidding aside, take the tiny steps and they will lead to some major career growth and acceleration.

Here's what I know after years of coaching people through career transitions: fear never fully goes away. You don't wait for the fear to disappear before you act. You acknowledge it, you respect it, and then you act anyway.

The secret isn't eliminating fear. The secret is making the steps so small that fear can't stop you.

Research salaries for 30 minutes? You can do that scared. Email one person in your network? You can do that scared. Follow one industry leader on LinkedIn? You can do that scared. Update one section of your resume? You can do that scared.

Each tiny action builds momentum. Each small step proves to yourself that you're capable of more than fear wants you to believe. And before you know it, you've taken a dozen tiny steps that add up to one giant leap.

Your career won't grow on autopilot. It needs you to tend to it, even when you're scared. Especially when you're scared.

So congratulate yourself for even considering change. Acknowledge that you're terrified. Visualize what happens if you do nothing. Make a tiny plan. And then take one very small action.

That's all it takes to start walking through the fear.

You've got this.

Yours in ‘grow, grow, grow your career boat’ goodness,

EBS