The Secret to Great Leadership? Confidence (And Not Being a Dick)

Starbucks is not my jam. More power to you if it's your thing, but I prefer mom and pop shops, or mom and mom. I definitely don't discriminate.

However, due to a rainstorm and a neighborhood-wide power outage, I found myself trekking out to the burbs in search of wifi one day.

Not a big deal, except that the only coffee shop, cafe, or restaurant around where I wouldn't be seen as a total ass for whipping out my laptop to get stuff done was a Starbucks. That and everything else was closed.

I toddled in and let out an audible sigh followed by a low, toddler-like whine.

It was raining out. It was midday. The place was PACKED. As I stared at the board of ridiculous sugar bombs and got ready to order my plain, black coffee, I realized that people were packing up. And leaving. Like a lot of them. Why? The employees.

The employees were hitting the end of their stupidly early morning shift and they were lagging. One of them had put thrash metal on the speakers. Seriously. No apologies. And the stuff was loud.

But the employees were laughing, dancing, and having a 100 percent bonding moment. They were in job happiness mode, full on. And I got a seat. The good cushy one.

Do I like thrash metal? Um, no. Hard pass. But I do love a place run by happy, fun-loving employees. And I like the good chair. Don't judge me.

What else do I love? Good leaders. And I just met one.

The manager was on break, which may explain the music, but one of the rank and file noticed the mass exodus and asked the other employees “if mayyyyybe they should switch the music”. They got huffy. She got brilliant. She polled us. The “us” that hadn't left.

She asked what we wanted to hear, changed the music, and kept the team vibe while adapting to the customers. That's leadership. Not because of her title, but because of her actions.

Leadership vs. Management: What's the Difference?

Here's the skinny: management and leadership are two very different things. You can be a leader and not a manager, and we've all had a manager that was definitely not a leader.

Occasionally managers are called "leaders" and vice versa, but while leaders can have managerial responsibilities, they don't always. "Managers" often operate in a hierarchy within an organization.

They ensure timely completion of project assignments and facilitate interpersonal relations, while leaders can be at any level. The best leaders ask questions, embrace innovative thinking along with honest feedback and transparency. "Leadership" enables teams by allowing each person to develop unique leadership skills.

That Starbucks employee? She wasn't the manager. But she was absolutely the leader in that moment.

Why Leadership Matters

It is important for any organization to recognize its successful leaders. Creative leadership allows organizations to operate effectively and better withstand changes. Organizations who excel in developing leadership behaviors generally achieve better returns in the future.

What makes a good leader? Let me start off by saying that not everyone is born to lead. Some don't want to develop leadership skills, some are born with zero leadership qualities, and some don't want to spend the time needed to motivate team members. However, while many great leaders aren't part of the official management leadership in an organization, leaders create the culture.

Good leaders acquire confidence, build strong relationships, are biased toward action, demonstrate humility, empower others, and remain authentic. There are as many leadership styles as there are leaders.

The Foundation: Confidence and Self-Esteem

There's so much conversation out there about introversion versus extroversion, but in reality, it's confidence and self-esteem that are the essential factors that determine the quality of your professional life and play a critical role in your performance, relationships, and overall satisfaction on the job.

While interconnected, they're actually two different things: confidence is the belief in your abilities and worth, while self-esteem refers to how we value and perceive ourselves.

Make no mistake though, both are crucial for professional growth and success, especially in leadership.

How Confidence Impacts Leadership

1. Confidence leads to better performance

Having confidence in your skills and abilities leads to better overall performance, just like how you shoot pool better after that second margarita. When you have confidence in yourself, you're more likely to make bold decisions, and you're less afraid to take risks.

Confidence allows us to step out of our comfort zones and take calculated risks, leading to personal and professional growth. It enables us to overcome obstacles, navigate workplace dynamics, and seize opportunities for advancement.

At the same time, self-esteem empowers us to recognize our intrinsic value, accept constructive feedback, and bounce back from setbacks.

Trusting your skills usually means you perform tasks more efficiently since you're not second-guessing everything, which results in higher productivity and better results.

High self-esteem fosters a positive mindset, enabling individuals to face challenges with resilience and perseverance. On the other hand, folks who lack self-confidence tend to doubt their abilities and often perform suboptimally, leading to dissatisfaction and underachievement.

2. Confidence affects professional relationships

Confidence and self-esteem can also affect professional relationships. When you're self-assured, you tend to be more comfortable around your colleagues, clients, and leaders. You effectively communicate your ideas and thoughts without coming across as unsure or hesitant.

Assertiveness, a product of confidence, allows individuals to express their thoughts, ideas, and concerns clearly and respectfully. Self-esteem enables individuals to receive feedback constructively and engage in open dialogue, leading to stronger working relationships. This visibility helps to build beneficial relationships, and you're more likely to be successful in those collaborations.

In contrast, a lack of self-assurance can lead to communication breakdowns and misunderstandings, and eventually strain relationships.

3. Confidence contributes to mental health and growth

Lastly, confidence and self-esteem contribute significantly to our overall mental health, outlook, and personal and professional growth.

What that means is that if it doesn't come naturally to you, and it definitely doesn't for everyone, building confidence and self-esteem in the workplace is essential for your personal and professional growth.

Confidence and self-esteem are top traits for aspiring leaders. Individuals with high confidence and self-esteem are more likely to take on leadership roles, inspire and motivate others, and make informed decisions. These qualities also increase the likelihood of career advancement and professional recognition.

A healthy level of confidence enables us to take on challenges, assert ourselves, and seize opportunities, while solid self-esteem influences how we perceive ourselves and our abilities, affecting our motivation and resilience.

Ten Leadership Characteristics That Actually Matter

Now that we understand why confidence matters, here are 10 leadership characteristics that separate good leaders from mediocre managers:

1. Set Clear Goals and Standards

A great leader sets goals and standards so that other group members on the team understand them.

First and foremost, effective leaders need to model leadership behavior. Hold yourself to high standards and your team will follow suit. It's not always about leadership skills. It has a lot to do with being able to inspire people to reach their goals.

Secondly, no matter your leadership style, make your goals clear to your team, get everyone calibrated, and then it's 872 percent easier for the team to work toward and help you achieve those goals. A leader's ability to keep a team highly motivated is where the success is.

Thirdly, always let people know what is expected of them and yourself, clearly. Fostering other team leaders and actively developing leaders takes emotional intelligence and day-to-day management. Honest feedback from your team about your key traits is what creates authentic leadership.

2. Be Approachable, Accessible, and Not an Asshole

Folks in leadership positions need to have social skills. A good leader doesn't need an "open door" policy—you still need to get your work done after all—but you absolutely need to be available, accessible, and legitimately approachable. It also helps to be genuinely curious about your teammates and their work.

3. Ask Your Team for Input

One of the best leadership traits is the self-confidence to ask your team for input on your work and not settle into a status quo.

Leadership experts allow and openly encourage constructive criticism. Those around you will see open lines of communication that go both ways. The caveat: you must actually listen and really hear what they have to say. It's a perfect setup to make sure everyone is on the same page.

That Starbucks employee? She didn't just change the music. She asked us what we wanted. That's confidence and humility combined.

4. Offer Constructive Criticism

In turn, good leadership offers constructive criticism in order to achieve results.

Constructive is the key word here. If it's not constructive, keep it to yourself. True constructive criticism is specific and actionable. If you're in a leadership role, stay away from simply saying "I don't like it." Why specifically not? What can be fixed to make it better? Offer solutions.

5. Allow for Honesty

One of the most requested personality traits of leaders is acceptance of honest and transparent feedback. If you openly listen to the honest opinion from everyone, including those above you, below you, lateral to you, and the receptionist on the 11th floor, you'll know what really is going on and be able to head problems off at the pass before they even become problems. It's the simplest way to meet organizational goals.

6. Work With People Better Than You

For long-term success, work with people better than you.

If you're in a hiring position, hire people better than you. If you aren't, offer yourself up to work with people a level up from you as much as possible. Ego aside, they'll influence you to do better work and keep you from getting complacent.

7. Be Proactive About Helping

Be proactive about helping your team out and keeping the motivation going.

You know who is seen as the ultimate team player, especially in non-leadership situations? The admin who will tweak that deck because Heather is out sick. The office manager who gets the billing to finance early during month-end to ease up their load. The account guy whose meeting got canceled so he offers to help you set up yours. Other stakeholders not waiting to be asked to help but being aware and offering it willingly? That's the golden unicorn of teammates.

8. Take the Credit, But Own the Blame

If your team did great work, don't take the credit without acknowledging the contributions of others, but do gracefully accept kudos if they come your way. If your team screws something up, it's time for the leaders to take the blame too.

9. Work With People's Strengths

This sounds like a no-brainer, and yet few in leadership follow it. People are not job titles. They're, well, people. Two people with the same job title in your organization may have wildly different strengths. Play to them. Don't try to force Karen the introvert to throw the client parties when Barb is the party maven. Let Bob create all the reports that the party is celebrating because Bob is a data phenom. Pay attention to how people work best and on what. Use their best talents to the team's best advantage. The same goes for yourself.

10. Don't Be a Dick

This one is sort of my mantra. It's useful in different situations. It's difficult to get criticism in any job, but when employees are putting, sometimes literally, their blood, sweat, and tears into their work, just be nice. Offer your time, support, and input, and always be constructive, generous, and just, well, nice.

The Common Thread

The common thread through all these? Be nice, be proactive, lift others up. Be about other people just as much as you are about yourself.

And it all starts with confidence. Not arrogance. Not ego. But genuine confidence in yourself and your abilities, combined with the humility to know you don't have all the answers.

That's what that Starbucks employee had. She was confident enough to notice the problem, humble enough to ask for input, and decisive enough to act on it. She didn't need a title to lead. She just needed confidence and the willingness to care about the people around her.

Leadership isn't about having all the answers. It's about having the confidence to ask questions, the humility to listen to the answers, and the courage to act on what you learn.

It's about building your team's confidence, not just your own. It's about creating an environment where people feel valued, heard, and empowered to do their best work.

And it's about not being a dick. Seriously. That one's important.

Building Your Leadership Confidence

If you're working your way up the ladder, creating change and making news, well done you. Still striving to get to that leadership position you've been coveting? Now's the time to prove your leadership chops.

But how do you become a better leader?

It starts with building your own confidence and self-esteem. You can't lead others effectively if you don't believe in yourself. You can't empower your team if you're constantly second-guessing your own decisions.

So work on your confidence. Challenge your negative self-talk. Build a positive self-image. Cultivate self-compassion. Overcome imposter syndrome.

And then use that confidence not to puff yourself up, but to lift others up.

Because that's what great leaders do. They see the potential in others. They create environments where people can thrive. They make the hard decisions. They take the blame when things go wrong and share the credit when things go right.

They don't need thrash metal and an official title to lead. They just need confidence, compassion, and a commitment to not being a dick.

So go forth. Build your confidence. Develop your leadership skills. And remember: leadership is about serving others, not yourself.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find a new coffee shop that doesn't play thrash metal. But I'll always remember that employee who had the confidence to lead without a title.

That's the kind of leader I want to be.

Yours in” yes you can be an awesome leader” goodness,

EBS

How to Change Careers Using Creativity (Not Just Skills Lists)

I talk to a lot of clients, potential clients, people at parties, folks at the dog park who are trying to figure out what they want to do with their careers, and they want to DO IT NOW.

They want to skip really important steps because they want to just figure it out right now.

People change careers for all types of reasons, but they all have the same driver: the need to pivot into something different than what you are doing now.

While a lot of people find that terrifying, I see it as the ultimate opportunity to do something that makes you truly happy. It's the chance to do something that fulfills you in a way your old career didn't.

So what's the rush? And more importantly, what are these impatient career changers skipping over?

The Step Everyone Wants to Skip (But Shouldn't)

I believe every single person should start with some of the BIG life questions like "Why do I work?", "What is meaningful to me?", you know, "How do I want to be in the world?"

While, as a coach, I know you should start here, so many people just do not want to take the time out to ask those questions. They want to skip ahead. They're impatient. I get it.

So what they do instead of outlining what they truly want to do, they hop straight into "Okay, I'm going to write out a list of all of the things that I can do." Then they write out that list of things they know how to do and then start looking at jobs that line up with the skill sets they have.

While on the outside it apparently makes sense, that's actually the wrong way to go about it.

Here's why: you end up right back where you started. You find another job that uses your existing skills but doesn't fulfill you. You've changed jobs, not careers. You're still miserable, just in a different conference room.

What You Actually Need: Creativity

What is the most important factor in a career change? You and the limits of your imagination.

I believe that it is absolutely necessary to tap into your creativity if you are even considering a career change.

"But I'm not creative," you're thinking. "I'm an accountant. I'm in operations. I work in finance."

Stop. We are, by nature, creative problem solvers. And to be sure, job happiness is a problem to be cracked, decoded, and solved. You don't have to be a creative, but you absolutely should incorporate creativity into your search for job fulfillment.

Here's what creativity actually gives you in a career change: it helps you see possibilities beyond what already exists. It helps you connect dots that aren't obvious. It helps you envision something that doesn't look like what you've already done.

Skills-based job searching keeps you in the box of what is. Creativity helps you imagine what could be.

The Power of Flow

The key to finding a new career that fulfills you is finding what puts you in flow. Flow is a psychological concept that outlines the idea that you should engage most in tasks where you lose yourself.

Now, I can go all zen on a sink full of dishes, but that's not flow. Flow is looking up from a report you're diving into and realizing that you've spent four hours digging into fashion-buying statistics and it felt like 20 minutes and you have a smile on your face. Flow is a zone. A feeling. A work-induced happy place.

The absolute best place to find flow? In creative endeavors. Have you ever noticed that when you're in the act of creating something, time just flies? It can be almost anything: writing, organizing shapes, painting, dance, collage, whatever brings you joy and puts you in a state of flow.

This is the clue your brain is giving you about what kind of work will fulfill you. When you're in flow, you're using your strengths in a way that energizes rather than drains you. You're challenged but not overwhelmed. You're engaged but not stressed.

Pay attention to when you experience flow. That's your career GPS.

How to Actually Use Creativity in Your Career Change

So, now what?

Step 1: Find your flow.

Step 2: Find a way to incorporate that endeavor into your new career.

It may not mean literally. But it may. Honestly, tapping into your creativity doesn't mean you need to sculpt heads out of clay until you've designed the face of your ideal boss. It just means that you need to tap into the part of you that isn't necessarily logical and linear.

If you find yourself in flow while cooking but you can't see yourself as a line cook in a restaurant 50 hours a week, then maybe it's about finding a position where you can solve problems creatively alongside an energetic team who are encouraged to improvise.

Personally, when I was in the throes of a career change from teacher to who knew what, I had to come up with creative ways of teaching that weren't in front of a classroom with a creaky blackboard behind me. That creativity helped me envision career coaching before I even knew career coaching was a thing.

If there are zero creative activities you have interest in—firstly, seriously?—there are a few other ways to incorporate creativity into your career change journey:

• Building a mood board of how you want to feel in your new gig

• Brainstorming ALL bazillion possibilities for new roles

• Mind-mapping your ideal project on the job

• Drawing, visually or written, a "perfect" day one year into the future

• Creating a vision board of companies you admire

• Writing a day-in-the-life narrative of your ideal role

• Sketching out your dream organizational chart

• Collaging images that represent your values and priorities

The point isn't the specific creative activity. The point is engaging the part of your brain that imagines, connects, and envisions rather than just analyzes and categorizes.

The Four Lists That Actually Work (When Done Right)

Okay, so I've convinced you that you can't skip the creative, flow-finding, imagination work. But you still need a practical framework for organizing your skills and interests. I'm going to show you how to do this in a way that makes sense for your career search and for when you're questioning what you should do next.

You're going to write some lists. Four lists, actually. You can do this.

List Number One: All the Skills You Have

Write out ALL the skills that you have. All of them. Everything that you can do. Especially all the stuff that's super second nature to you. You want to write that down. List every skill that you could have someone pay you to do.

Don't edit. Don't judge. Don't dismiss things as "not real skills." Can you organize chaos? That's a skill. Can you make people feel comfortable in awkward situations? That's a skill. Can you spot patterns in data? That's a skill.

List Number Two: All the Skills You Want to Use

Write out all the skills and stuff you want to do.

Now, these lists are going to look a little different, right? List one is going to be much longer than list two. Don't worry about size right now. Just list out all of the things that you can and want to do.

This is where that flow work comes in. What skills put you in flow? What do you lose yourself in? What energizes rather than drains you?

List Number Three: Skills You Can Do But Don't Want To

I think this one is just as important as list one, but a lot of people skip it. For this list, list out all of the skills, all of the things that you can do but that you do not want to do.

Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. Let's say you take a job that uses your top 10 can-do, saleable skills, but you hate nine of them. Even if you're being paid double, you're going to be miserable.

This list is crucial. It's your "never again" list. Maybe you're great at cold calling, but it makes you want to cry. Maybe you're excellent at managing budgets, but you find it soul-crushing. Maybe you're skilled at event planning, but you hate the stress.

Get clear on what you don't want. It's just as important as knowing what you do want.

List Number Four: Skills You Want to Learn

I love this list.

This is the stuff that maybe you got a chance to do once six months ago, or it's just a skill that you've always been interested in learning, or a skill that you've been learning but haven't had much of a chance to actually use.

This is your growth edge. This is where your curiosity lives. This is what excites you even though you're not good at it yet.

What to Do With Your Four Lists

Okay great. Now you've got four lists. What do you do with them?

You're going to take your list of all the things you can do and your list of all the things you don't want to do and cross-reference them. Make sure to check that off against list two. What overlaps? What is the stuff that you can do and that you want to do and made it to both lists?

Essentially, what's in the middle of a Venn diagram. That list of skills right there is what you should be plugging into job search engines to see what comes back at you in terms of titles, in terms of companies, in terms of roles, in terms of fields.

That's going to be where your interests lie, so look at that short list in the middle of that cool Venn diagram.

But here's the creative part: don't just look for job titles that match those skills. Look for industries you've never considered. Look for companies doing interesting work. Look for roles that use those skills in unexpected ways.

Maybe your overlap skills are communication, organization, and strategic thinking. That could be marketing. It could also be nonprofit program management. Or operations at a tech startup. Or project management in healthcare. Or event production in entertainment.

The creativity comes in imagining all the different contexts where those skills could be valuable, not just the obvious ones.

Do not forget list four. While you're on this search for your next thing, you should start learning some of the things on that list.

Take an hour and learn that new piece of software. Learn that new management skill, whatever it is. Now, when looking at potential jobs, if you fulfill 80 percent of the requirements for a job description and you are interested in learning the other 20 percent, you are a perfect fit for that role.

Employers want people who are curious and willing to learn. Your list four shows you are both.

Bringing It All Together: Skills + Creativity = Career Clarity

So that's it. Four lists and a little bit of organization, filtered through creativity and flow.

This is the step that you cannot skip. So as frustrated and as raring to go as you might be, do not skip this step. This step is absolutely necessary for you to find work that's going to make you happy in the future.

I promise you, just take an hour to do this. It will save you a lot of trial and error. It'll save you a lot of headache.

Here's what the full process looks like:

1. Find your flow. Pay attention to when you lose track of time in a good way. What are you doing? What skills are you using? How does it feel?

2. Get creative. Use mood boards, brainstorming, mind mapping, or any other creative tool to envision what you want your career to feel like and look like.

3. Make your four lists. All skills you have, skills you want to use, skills you never want to use again, and skills you want to learn.

4. Find the overlap. Create your Venn diagram of what you can do, want to do, and don't hate doing.

5. Think creatively about application. Don't just search for obvious job titles. Think about industries, company types, and roles where those skills could be valuable in ways you haven't considered.

6. Start learning. Pick one thing from list four and start developing that skill now.

The skills-only approach keeps you trapped in what you've already done. The creativity-only approach is too abstract and doesn't give you actionable next steps. But skills plus creativity? That's where the magic happens.

That's where you find work that uses what you're good at, in ways you actually enjoy, in contexts you haven't imagined yet.

Your Career Change Is Waiting

Career change is scary. I get it. But it's also the ultimate creative problem to solve.

You get to design what comes next. You get to use everything you've learned while leaving behind what drains you. You get to build something that fulfills you in ways your current career doesn't.

But only if you do the work. Only if you tap into your creativity. Only if you give yourself permission to imagine something different instead of just looking for a slightly better version of what you already have.

So go grab your beverage of choice and a pen, pencil, or Google doc, whatever you like. Find your flow. Get creative. Make your four lists. Find your overlap. And then start imagining all the unexpected, interesting, fulfilling places those skills could take you.

Send me a copy of your Venn diagram. I would love, love, love to see it.

Your new career is out there. Not the one that just uses your skills. The one that also lights you up. The one that puts you in flow. The one you haven't imagined yet because you've been too busy being practical.

Go imagine it. Then go get it.

Yours in creativity is great for your career goodness,

EBS

What If I Choose the Wrong Job? (Spoiler: There's No Such Thing)

In my work, I obviously talk to a lot of people with a lot of different fears.

One of the recurring fears that I hear a lot of, especially during career changes or when someone is looking for a new job, is: "I'm afraid I'll choose the wrong thing."

So I'm here today to tell you what to do when you choose the wrong job, and more importantly, why the entire premise of your fear is flawed.

First: There Is No Wrong Job

First of all, you need to take a breather and realize there is no wrong thing. There is no wrong job.

If you're interested in something enough, right now, to have chosen it at all, then it's not the wrong thing. It can't be. If it's something that interests you enough that you are making any sort of life decision based on it, it's definitely not the wrong thing.

Just take a step back and let it sink in: there is no wrong thing.

Whatever you choose next will be the right thing, right now. It's, you know, not Mr. Right, it's Mr. Right Now. Same idea. Clearly, this doesn't mean that this is your forever thing, but it's the right thing right now.

Roll with it. Go feed your interests. Go grow your knowledge base. Go collect some more skills, and then if you decide to pivot into something else? Great.

But yes, a lot of people do feel that whatever they choose next has to be the forever thing, which is a strange concept to me because if you look back, very few people will look back in their job history or their life path and see that they've done the same thing all the time.

There are those few, you know, child prodigies that at three years old decided they wanted to be a lawyer, became a lawyer, and have never done anything but lawyering. But that's rare.

Most of us worked at the ice cream shop in high school, then we got a communications degree, and we worked at an ad agency, and then we decided to go into the restaurant biz, or whatever. Most people have meandering paths, so the idea that your next thing has to be THE thing is not true and actually a strange concept if you look at your past.

So I'm here to tell you again: there is no wrong thing.

Why This Fear Is Really Just Procrastination

I know that this fear is real and I'm not saying that the fear isn't valid. I'm just asking you to not let that fear keep you from choosing anything because you're afraid of choosing the wrong thing.

In a lot of ways, it's just procrastination. "Well, I don't want to take the wrong thing, so I'm going to keep researching. I'm going to keep applying and I'm going to keep interviewing until I find the perfect right thing."

Nine times out of ten, for most people, again except for that weird three-year-old lawyer, there's never going to be a perfect position. There is never going to be the perfect role.

There's always going to be something else better somewhere down the road, so just choose your next thing. That's all you need to do.

It doesn't have to be that forever thing. You're not marrying the next thing that comes along. And even if you do marry it, divorce is a thing. You can quit a job.

People act as if quitting a job is one of life's major moral failings. It's not.

Don't let this fear hold you back from learning, from growing, from making connections, from trying something out that, yeah, maybe it's not the right thing, but it doesn't mean it's the wrong thing. So go for it. If there's something you're interested in enough right now to choose it at all, even consider choosing it, then it's not the wrong thing.

So go for it.

What If You Actually Do End Up in a Terrible Job?

Okay, but let's say you do choose something and it turns out to be, objectively, a bad situation. A terrible boss. Toxic coworkers. Dysfunctional organization. What then?

Stop wasting time typing "I hate my job" into Google.

Most of us have had at least one. That terrible job. The one that makes you dread Mondays, count the clock on Fridays, and cringe the rest of the time.

It could be terrible management, overly competitive coworkers, a wrong role fit, one bad boss, or a completely disorganized organization.

It goes without saying that if you're dealing with abuse or harassment, escape ASAP. If you're just miserable but not in danger, be proactive and move on to a gig you actually want, not just one that isn't your current situation.

It may take you a bit of time to find your next right thing, so while you're there, make your terrible job a chance to learn.

My Terrible Job Stories (Yes, Really)

I once had a boss who used to have me make her an iced almond milk chai every morning. And no, I wasn't her assistant.

I also had one who looked at me square in the face and said, "I'd rather be dead than fat."

I had another who would have me wake him from under his desk as he "jokingly" asked me to make him a Bloody Mary and to file his expenses, which included strip club receipts. No, I'm absolutely not kidding, and no, that definitely wasn't in my job description.

These jobs were objectively terrible. But you know what? They weren't wrong jobs. They were learning experiences. And I'm going to show you how to treat any "bad" job the same way.

Five Things to Learn from Every Job (Even the Terrible Ones)

No matter how awful, every gig is a chance to learn in-demand job skills. So what do you do to set yourself up for a much better job moving forward?

1. Learn What You Really Want to Do

As long as you don't get bogged down in the negativity cesspool, you can use a terrible job to clarify your career path.

Once you have identified WHY you hate this job, you can define what job would be a better fit and go after it specifically. On a broader level, use this job not to just define aspects that you don't like but WHY you don't like those things.

Do you dislike your boss because she's "mean," or is it that she is truly a poor communicator? Is your boss being unreasonable with 7 a.m. conference call requests, or is it that you actually hate the role of Social Marketing Coordinator?

This level of specificity is gold. Most people never get this clear on what they don't want, which means they can't get clear on what they do want.

A "wrong" job teaches you exactly what your non-negotiables are. Maybe it's autonomy. Maybe it's work-life balance. Maybe it's collaborative culture. Maybe it's creative freedom. You won't know until you experience the absence of these things.

2. Learn How to Network

Most of the time, you are not alone in a "bad job." There are others in those trenches with you, and those types of bonds tend to be strong.

In a few months, after you've all moved on, you'll have a nifty network to build on. Clients you worked well with, the understanding HR director, even the "bad" boss or overly competitive coworker may be useful connections in the future. So try not to burn bridges on exit.

I know it's tempting to go out in a blaze of glory, telling everyone exactly what you think of them. Don't. The world is smaller than you think, and industries are even smaller. That terrible boss might end up at your dream company. That toxic coworker might be hiring for a role you want in five years.

Stay professional. Be gracious. Build relationships where you can. You never know when those connections will matter.

3. Learn How to Beef Up Your Resume

A future boss won't know that your poorly trained manager screamed at the intern in every meeting or, like one friend of mine, whose boss was a well-known phone thrower.

What they will know is your title, responsibilities, wins, and company name. Assuming you have stuck it out longer than a few weeks, more experience on your resume always looks great.

Just be sure to not badmouth the screamer or thrower in a future job interview. That makes you, not them, look bad.

Even in a dysfunctional environment, you accomplished things. You solved problems. You learned systems. You developed skills. Document those. Quantify your wins. Build your case for the next opportunity.

Every job, even the terrible ones, gives you material for your professional story. Use it.

4. Learn How to Manage (By Learning What NOT to Do)

Let's face it. In most cases, a "bad job" is a bad boss.

Stay professional, be as effective as you can, watch them, and learn what not to do. What do they do that rubs employees the wrong way? How do they treat their peers versus their direct reports? When you work your way up to a leadership position elsewhere, be sure to not emulate their actions.

Be the boss you wish you had.

I learned more about good management from bad bosses than I ever learned from good ones. The good ones made it look easy. The bad ones showed me exactly where things fall apart.

The boss who made me get her chai every morning? She taught me that respect isn't automatic with a title. You earn it through how you treat people.

The one who made the "dead than fat" comment? She taught me that your personal issues don't belong in the workplace and that creating a safe, professional environment is a manager's responsibility.

The one passed out under his desk? He taught me that you can't lead if you can't show up, literally and figuratively.

These are valuable lessons. Painful, but valuable.

5. Learn How to Communicate

This is the ultimate chance to hone your communication skills.

When you have shoddy management, you were hired for a job they're not having you do, or downsizing has left you insanely overloaded, you will spend time having uncomfortable conversations.

This is your chance to learn how to handle these situations professionally. Be calm, rational, proactive, not defensive, and go into each interaction with facts and a cool head. You may not "win" every discussion, but you'll certainly have taken the high road and gained an incredibly useful skill.

Learning to communicate effectively in a dysfunctional environment is like training at high altitude. When you get to a healthy workplace, everything feels easier.

You learn to document everything. You learn to manage up. You learn to set boundaries. You learn to advocate for yourself. You learn to navigate difficult personalities. These are career-long skills that will serve you everywhere you go.

The Truth About "Wrong" Jobs

So instead of sitting around all day asking "Should I get a new job?" take this layover in job hell as a HUGE chance to learn. There is value in every experience and personal connection.

Get creative on the job. The trick is to see the positive aspects of even the most terrible gig. As long as you don't wallow in the backbiting, negative, borderline abusive, catty, or just plain "bad" culture, you're in the winning seat.

Treat it as a not-so-pleasant but still professional learning experience, and before you know it, you'll be moving on to a much better job with a boatload of new skills under your hat.

Here's what I want you to understand: even if you choose a job that turns out to be objectively terrible, it's not the "wrong" job. It's a learning experience. It's a stepping stone. It's clarification about what you want and don't want. It's skill building. It's network expansion.

The only truly wrong job is one you stay in forever despite being miserable, learning nothing, and taking no action to change your situation.

Stop Waiting for the Perfect Choice

The fear of choosing the wrong job keeps people stuck in analysis paralysis for months, sometimes years. They turn down opportunities because they're not 100 percent sure. They endlessly research and interview and contemplate, waiting for some mythical perfect role that checks every box.

Meanwhile, they're not learning. They're not growing. They're not building connections. They're not collecting experiences that clarify what they actually want.

You know what clarifies what you want? Doing things. Trying things. Even things that don't work out.

Your career is not a straight line to a predetermined destination. It's an exploration. It's a series of experiments. It's a collection of experiences that build on each other in ways you can't predict.

The ice cream shop job taught you customer service. The ad agency gig taught you deadlines and collaboration. The restaurant job taught you operations and crisis management. The terrible boss taught you resilience and what kind of leader you want to be.

None of these were wrong. They were all necessary to get you where you're going, even if you didn't know where that was at the time.

Your Next Right Thing

So here's what I want you to do: Stop agonizing over whether your next job will be the perfect, forever, right thing.

Choose something that interests you right now. Take the opportunity that excites you, even if it scares you. Try the thing that makes you curious, even if you're not sure it's "the one."

Work there. Learn everything you can. Build relationships. Develop skills. Get clear on what you love and what you hate. Then, when you're ready, make your next move.

There is no wrong job. There are only experiences. Some are better than others, sure. But all of them teach you something if you're paying attention.

And if you end up in a truly terrible situation? Use the five strategies above to extract every bit of value from it while you plan your escape. You're not stuck. You're learning. You're building your resume, your skills, your network, and your clarity about what you want.

Then you move on, wiser and more equipped for the next thing.

Your career is long. You have time to try different things. You have permission to pivot. You have the right to change your mind.

So go for it.

Yours in there are no wrong choices goodness,

EBS

Stuck in a Career Rut? How to Find Fulfillment (Even If You're Bored Out of Your Mind)

Are you bored at work? Like, did you just type "bored at work" into Google again, bored?

Not just "I can't wait for this meeting to be over, I guess I'll just keep watching Bridgerton on the QT for another 15 minutes" bored, but 100 percent stuck in a rut, been in the same role for years, get paid too well to leave, what else would I do bored?

Let me guess: you love your job. (Dang, you're lucky!) Or you like your job. (Well done.) Or you hate your job and can't wait to clock out. (Looks like you need a new job, but I digress.)

What do all three of these have in common? The fact that none of them necessarily equal fulfillment.

Here's the thing: career fulfillment is a 100 percent personal concept.

What Fulfillment Actually Means (And Why You Probably Haven't Defined It)

"Fulfillment" doesn't mean you need to wake up every day with hearts and rainbows in your eyes about your job, but it does need to mean that you get true satisfaction from it beyond a paycheck.

What is a fulfilling "dream job" for one person could be a nightmare for another, so you will need to define what "fulfillment" means for you.

I work mostly with clients that are unfulfilled in their current jobs and careers, but they often can't tell me why. They've never asked themselves why either.

I often have clients in creative fields who spend all day asking the big creative questions for clients but forget how to be creative in their own lives and careers. They're so busy solving everyone else's problems that they never turn that analytical, creative thinking inward.

This is where you are right now, isn't it? Stuck, bored, maybe even stressed, but unable to articulate exactly what's missing or what would make it better.

Let's fix that.

Understanding Your Rut: Six Questions You Need to Answer

Let's be honest. Ruts are comfortable. We know what to expect. The surprises are few. Especially when it comes to careers, people fear the unknown to the point of setting up housekeeping in their job fjord.

Hey, you might be miserable in your rut, but you know just what that misery entails. However, humans are curious by nature. Our brains crave novelty.

If you are finally frustrated enough with your rut to climb up and out, it can be done.

First things first: you're in a rut for a reason. So how do you get motivated to get out of your rut? Go grab your beverage of choice and a pen, pencil, Google doc, whatever you like, and get ready to ask yourself a few questions.

In order to get motivated, start with the reason you're feeling the way you do:

Question 1: What is the rut I'm in? Exactly why are you bored at work?

List out all the nitty-gritty reasons. You need to get down to the specifics. Not just your "job," but what exactly about your job makes you feel as if you're lounging at the bottom of the Grand Canyon.

Is it the repetitive tasks? The lack of growth opportunities? The people? The company culture? The industry itself? Get specific. "I hate my job" isn't useful. "I'm bored because I've been doing the exact same projects for three years with no new challenges" is something you can work with.

Question 2: Do I really want out of this rut?

Once you identify your rut, you need to get real with yourself. Do you actually want out? OR do you just want to complain about it?

Because complaining is comfortable too. It gives you something to bond with coworkers over. It gives you an excuse for why other things in your life aren't working. Sometimes we're more attached to our misery than we want to admit.

So be honest: do you actually want things to change, or do you just want to vent?

Question 3: How did you get in this rut?

You really want out? Great. Exactly how did you get into the one you're in now? History is doomed to repeat and all that jazz.

Did you take the safe option instead of the exciting one? Did you prioritize money over meaning? Did you stop learning and growing? Did you say yes to things you should have said no to? Did you avoid having hard conversations about what you needed?

Understanding how you got here helps you avoid making the same choices again.

Question 4: Why did you get in this rut?

Why did you let yourself get into the place you're in now? Who do you need to "be" so that it doesn't happen again?

Were you afraid of change? Avoiding confrontation? Chasing external validation? Following someone else's definition of success instead of your own?

This is about understanding your patterns, not beating yourself up. You made the choices you made for reasons that made sense at the time. Now you get to make different choices.

Question 5: What is keeping you in this rut?

What do you think is keeping you there now? Are these real obstacles or are they excuses?

The golden handcuffs of a good salary? Fear of the unknown? Inertia? Lack of clarity about what else you'd do? Belief that you're too old, too inexperienced, too whatever to change?

Some obstacles are real. Some are stories we tell ourselves. Figure out which is which.

Question 6: What would you do if you weren't in this rut?

Here's the fun stuff. If you weren't stuck on this hamster wheel, what would you do with your days? What job would you be thriving at? What new challenges would you take on?

I'm serious when I say you should literally write down your answers. Sometimes seeing things out on the page makes them more "real." Less bat-away-able.

The Power of Visualization (Yes, Really)

One exercise I go through with my clients is one that almost ALL coaches use. It doesn't matter if you coach basketball, chess, or careers, the same truly effective, awesomely creative exercise is: visualization.

I know, I know. It sounds cheesy. But visualization is the real deal. Studies have shown that just the act of visualization can produce a 45 percent success rate.

And this is something you can do on the couch while sporting your nasty sweatpants from college. You know the ones.

Here's how it works. It's a three-parter:

Step A: Visualize the end product you're hoping to achieve

Not just "I want a better job." Get specific. What does your ideal workday look like? Where are you? Who are you working with? What kind of problems are you solving? What does it feel like to be doing work that fulfills you?

Close your eyes and really picture it. See the details. The office or home setup. The projects you're working on. The energy you feel. The satisfaction at the end of the day.

Step B: Mentally list the reasons why you want this outcome

Why does this matter to you? What will it give you that you don't have now? Freedom? Creative expression? Financial security? Impact? Growth? Connection?

Get clear on your "why" because that's what will sustain you through the hard work of change.

Step C: Repeat that list of goodness to yourself until it's set in mental stone

Your brain doesn't know the difference between visualization and reality. Creating a picture in your mind tricks your mind into thinking it's real. That it can, will, and has happened.

So you want to switch gears and move into a creative role but your portfolio is a mess? Visualize a totally stunning portfolio that you can send out to recruiters. Really picture each page and how it will be seen by all the amazed hiring managers out there.

See, your brain made it happen. Now your hands just need to get on board.

Ten Ways to Reduce Stress and Increase Fulfillment Right Now

While you're working on getting out of your rut, here are ten ways to make your current work situation more bearable and maybe even discover some fulfillment where you are.

1. Do Meaningful Work

I don't mean you have to save all the trees, manatees, or homeless one-eared cats, although I'm pro all those things. You just need to do work that is meaningful to you.

The more connected you feel to your work, the more it aligns with your values, the more you will be energized and not stressed by it. Having a sense of meaning makes employees happier, and happier employees are just less stressed.

If you're struggling to find meaning in your day-to-day work, try asking yourself: "Other than to pay the rent, why am I working so hard?" "What is this work's purpose?"

There should be at least a minimum of meaning there. If you absolutely cannot come up with a single bit of meaning, it might be time for some career changes.

2. Follow Your Path

I'm not talking "follow your bliss" style here. I'm talking career path. If you are reaching your career goals by following the career growth path you designed, you will feel fulfilled, make better decisions, and be less stressed.

If you don't have a career path designed, that might be part of your problem.

3. Find a Buddy

Work wife, desk husband, cubie bestie. Whatever you call it. Find one. According to the Harvard Business Review, work friends make us more productive and generally more happy and less stressed. Even if it's a colleague that you have a good rapport with and only occasionally have lunch with, personal connections on the job are good for your morale.

4. Make It Personal

Your space, that is. You want to feel comfortable, at ease, and "at home." Plants, personal pics, a cozy wrap thrown over the back of your chair, a customized screensaver, or a hand-drawn pic from your weird little niece. Decorate your space and make it feel like you. Even, especially if you're working from home. Make your workspace your personal workspace.

5. Don't Be a Dick

This should go without saying, but if you're nice to people, they'll be nice to you and help you when you need it. Seriously, say "please" and "thank you" and mean it.

Be grateful when others help you out, smile genuinely, say hi to the temp receptionist, and not only will you actually be happier and less stressed out, but you'll be contributing to a kinder workplace, which makes everyone less stressed out. It's a very non-vicious cycle.

6. Take a Break

From a particular task. From your desk. From the account guy who drives you bonkers. A cleared-out head allows you to view problems with fresh grey matter.

This goes for a 10-minute break to visit the coffee maker all the way to a full two-week, unplugged vacation. The ability to take a step back, breathe, refresh, and revive relieves stress, allows you to be more productive and creative.

7. Diet (AKA: Don't Eat Junk, Drink Water, and Get Off Your Butt)

For some reason, a lot of people see "work" and "life" as having different rules.

You spend an inordinate amount of your "life" at "work," so it stands to reason that if you wouldn't pound a handful of jellybeans, a chocolate donut, and a double espresso for breakfast on a normal day at home, then you shouldn't at the office or home office for that matter, even if it is free in the breakroom or your kitchen.

The better you eat, the more hydrated you are, and the more you move, the better you'll feel. The better you feel, the better mood you'll be in, and the less things will amp you up and stress you out.

8. Get Organized, Systematized, and Automated

You know what's stressful? Digging through pages of emails for that one little thing your boss wants to discuss right now.

Organizing your files, systems, documents, and processes will reduce unwanted stress by like 827 percent.

Is there an email you need to send weekly and always forget until the last minute and then you stress out about it? Find a way to prep, calendar, and automate that puppy. Organize your digital files in a way that makes sense and make sure to keep on top of it. Will it take a little time upfront? Oh yeah. Will it keep you from ugly crying while your Zoom camera is off? Yes indeed.

9. Breathe and Respond Later

So back to that account guy who pushes every one of your buttons. He's always going to be that guy. Always. If you stress out and focus on making him not that guy, you're in for lots and lots and lots of pointless stress.

Next time he sends out an email that is condescending and uncalled for, do not respond. Immediately anyway. Step away from the moment and, personality differences aside, formulate a non-emotionally charged response that focuses only on the issue at hand. Don't let him bait you. Just because he's an ass doesn't mean you need to get on his level.

10. Keep a List of Wins and Reward Yourself

At the end of each day, week, or month, take a few moments and write down your wins. They can be tiny or huge. Having a record to go back through will remind you of just how much you've accomplished and will not only give you a good feelings boost but also give you ammo for your next raise discussion.

Keeping a record of successes is an emotional reward in itself, but feel free to also physically reward yourself for a job well done. A piece of chocolate for that successful sales call, a spa day for that killer presentation being completed, or tickets to your favorite metal band? Whatever will make you feel happy, relaxed, and accomplished, go for it.

How to Function While You're Still in the Rut

Much like those booty shorts you bought swearing you'd wear ALL THE TIME but still have the tags on, it's now time to either strut your cheeks or charity shop those puppies.

Make a plan. Make it real. Write a contract with yourself if need be. You will grab yourself a donkey and make your way out of rutville, but unless you've just yelled "DEUCES" and peaced out on your current gig, you're going to be hanging out there a bit longer.

So how do you function at your best while dealing with your boredom and antsiness?

Tackle it project by boring project:

Try looking at a single project from a new vantage point. What is the outcome of your project? How will it be used and by whom? How can you make it most useful for them? Stepping out of yourself and finding some empathy for the end user may at least give you a reason to complete the boring task.

Find inspiration elsewhere. Can't imagine how making the logo bigger for the umpteenth time is helpful to anyone? Go flip through a magazine or watch crazy Japanese commercials on YouTube. Check out the new coffee shop down the block that is pure white tile. Looking at new things can make you see old things in a new light.

Switch up the scenery. Take a walk, find a new conference room to hide in, ride your bike at lunch, take the elevator to the 32nd floor. Just do it without any purpose but clearing your head and calming your mind for 20 minutes or so.

So bored you're angry? Do something that guarantees you a laugh. Does Gary in production do an amazing duck impression? Ask him for a command performance. Got a video on your phone of your niece in conversation with the family ficus? Watch it on repeat. Unless you're an evil villain, you can't laugh and be angry at the same time.

The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything

Do you see where all this is going? Mindset shift.

Once you start seeing your larger picture, acknowledging that you got to where you are by doing the things you've thought about or not thought about, hopefully you'll see a way out. The way out starts with simply believing there is one.

Take a step back, breathe, acknowledge where you are currently, but don't beat yourself up about it. Address it and move on.

Incorporate these practices into your daily work life and soon enough you'll be a stress-free, coolio cucumber. And if you need more than ten strategies, what you really need is a new job. Have a plan for that yet?

Because here's the truth: fulfillment isn't about finding the perfect job that makes you deliriously happy every single day. It's about doing work that aligns with your values, challenges you in the right ways, allows you to use your strengths, and gives you satisfaction beyond a paycheck.

Only you can define what that looks like for you. But you have to actually do the defining. You have to ask yourself the hard questions. You have to visualize what you want. You have to take action, even small action, to move toward it.

Up and out, my friend. Your fulfilled career is waiting.

Yours in climbing out of ruts goodness,

EBS

—-

EB Sanders | Career Coach for Creative Types

I Lost My Dream Job (And Here's What I Learned About Starting Over)

"I lost my job."

Those are some of the most dreaded words in any language.

We've all been there. There was a layoff. The startup shuttered. You got yourself fired. Or it was just an out-and-out unexplained termination.

Job loss happens. It can send you into a tailspin. But it also means that you have an opportunity to get another job. A better job. A job you really want.

I know this because I've lived it. Not once, but through multiple career transitions that forced me to start over when I desperately didn't want to. Let me tell you a story.

True Confessions: I Booty Called My Ex-Career

I used to be a college professor. No, really.

I was a Humanities Professor at several fantastic colleges here in the Bay Area, teaching courses like "The History of Creativity" and "Values and Culture." As I'm sure you know, education and academia is not a cash cow, but I looooooved my job. Like REALLY loved it. So I scrimped, saved, and worked weird little jobs in the cracks between classes to make ends meet.

It was not only a job I loved, but it was my dream job that I had worked incredibly hard to get.

But it all finally came to a head when my options were: (a) move across the country for a tenure track position and be struggling slightly less financially, only now in a place far from home and family, OR (b) find a new career.

How did I feel about my options? I was devastated. It was like a long-term, "this is it forever" romantic relationship ending. It took me months of soul searching and not a few tears to get to a place where I could even acknowledge that there really were other doors.

Wide open doors.

The Part Nobody Talks About: How Freaked Out You'll Be

While I've talked before about what steps I took to find a new job to love, we need to talk about how incredibly freaked out I was.

While intellectually I knew I had to make a career change, I just couldn't give up a job that I loved so much it had been the basis of much of my identity. I was a teacher. That's who I was. Who was I without that?

I made my way back to advertising and marketing, where I had worked before grad school, as I struggled to keep teaching by holding on to one or two night classes. I dabbled in several roles and took a series of jobs that I knew I would hate, which I looked at as a good thing because I thought that somehow I could still make teaching viable. Any other job would "just" be a day job that I could leave when I finally found a way to make teaching work.

It was like booty calling my ex-career.

After TWO, yes TWO, years of drunkenly texting my ex-career, I finally had "the talk" with myself that someone always has to have with you after a breakup. The "IT'S OVER, MOVE ON" talk. The hard truth that your bestie gives you.

But unlike a true breakup, nobody was telling me they "never really liked my career anyway." Nobody understood that I was grieving. Forget bringing over ice cream to help me get through it.

After the talk with myself, I knew the era of the "day job" was over. I needed a new career, for real.

This is the part of job loss nobody prepares you for: the grief, the identity crisis, the desperate clinging to what was, and the terrifying uncertainty of what comes next.

What to Do When You Lose Your Job (The Real Steps)

Whether you lost your job through layoffs, termination, or like me, economic necessity that forced you out of something you loved, here's what you need to do. Not the sanitized version. The real version.

First: Take a Day or Two to Grieve and Breathe

I'm serious. You're allowed to be devastated. You're allowed to be angry. You're allowed to binge-watch trash TV and eat your feelings for 48 hours.

Job loss is loss. Even if you hated the job, you've lost income, routine, identity, and stability. If you loved the job, you've lost a piece of yourself.

So grieve. Feel your feelings. Acknowledge that this sucks.

But set a timer. Give yourself a defined period to wallow, and then it's time to get moving.

Step One: Define Your Next Steps

This is your chance to design your career. Don't let this opportunity pass you by.

I know that sounds ridiculous when you're panicking about how to pay rent. But hear me out: instead of letting your next job just happen to you, you now have the rare opportunity to actively design where you want to be, who you want to be, and what you want to be.

Most people drift through their careers, taking whatever comes next, moving laterally or slightly up, never questioning if they're on a path they actually want. Job loss, as painful as it is, gives you permission and necessity to ask the hard questions.

Ask yourself:

• What did I love about my last job? What did I hate?

• What would I do differently if I could start over?

• What have I been putting off or ignoring because I was comfortable?

• If money wasn't the primary concern, what would I be doing?

• What skills do I have that I haven't been using?

• What kind of work environment actually makes me thrive?

Don't rush past this step. This is the foundation of everything that comes next.

Step Two: Get Honest About Your Situation

You need to assess where you are financially, professionally, and emotionally.

Financial reality check:

• How long can you survive without income?

• Do you need any job immediately, or do you have runway to be selective?

• What's your absolute minimum salary requirement?

• Can you freelance or consult while you search?

Professional inventory:

• What transferable skills do you have?

• What's your network like? Who can you reach out to?

• What does your LinkedIn, resume, and portfolio look like? Do they need updating?

• What gaps in your skills or experience might you need to address?

Emotional honesty:

• Are you ready to move forward, or are you still in the anger/bargaining phase?

• What are you most afraid of?

• What stories are you telling yourself about why you lost your job or what it means about you?

I spent two years trying to make teaching work when it was clearly not viable. Don't do what I did. Get honest with yourself quickly.

Step Three: Update Your Materials and Get Visible

Before you do anything else, you need to update your LinkedIn, resume, and portfolio. You need to tell your network you're available. You need to make yourself visible and ready.

This isn't just about job hunting mechanics. It's about shifting your identity from "person who lost their job" to "professional actively pursuing their next opportunity."

Immediate actions:

• Update LinkedIn with your most recent accomplishments and skills

• Write a brief, professional post letting your network know you're open to opportunities

• Refresh your resume with recent wins and quantifiable achievements

• If relevant, update your portfolio with your best recent work

• Reach out to five people in your network just to reconnect (not to ask for jobs, just to touch base)

Step Four: Decide What You're Actually Looking For

This is where the design work from Step One pays off. You now need to get specific about what you're targeting.

Are you looking for the same role in a different company? A similar role in a different industry? A completely different career path?

The more specific you can be, the more you can target your search and the more your network can help you.

I knew I wanted to continue educating and helping people find their thing. I knew I liked helping people figure their own stuff out. But I had NO IDEA what form that would take in a career.

All signs were pointing toward "coach," but I absolutely did not want to be a coach. At the time, there was still a stigma around coaching. The common perception was that there were only two versions: executive coaching for the uber high-level or woo-woo life coaching for the LA-based.

I wasn't up for either. But educating people on how to navigate their careers? I knew I wanted to do that.

It took working with my own career coach to get that clarity. Don't be afraid to get help figuring this out.

Step Five: Execute Your Search Strategically

Job searching isn't about sending out 100 resumes into the void. It's about strategic, targeted outreach combined with visibility.

Your strategy should include:

Targeted applications: Apply to roles you actually want at companies you've researched. Customize each application to show why you specifically fit that specific role.

Network outreach: Reach out to people in your network, former colleagues, and new connections. Let them know what you're looking for. Ask for informational interviews. Most jobs are filled through connections, not job boards.

Recruiter relationships: Connect with recruiters in your field. They have access to opportunities you don't. Build relationships with them, not just transactional interactions.

Skill building: If you have time, take courses or get certifications in areas where you have gaps. Show you're actively growing, not just searching.

Side work: If financially necessary and you have bandwidth, take on freelance or contract work. It keeps money flowing and your skills sharp while you search for the right full-time role.

Step Six: Don't Settle Too Quickly (But Also Don't Hold Out for Perfect)

This is the hardest balance to strike. You need income. You need stability. But you also don't want to jump into another job you'll hate just because it's there.

Here's my advice: know your non-negotiables versus your nice-to-haves. Be flexible on the nice-to-haves. Don't compromise on the non-negotiables unless you absolutely have to for financial survival.

And if you do have to take a survival job to pay bills while you keep searching for the right fit? That's okay. That's not failure. That's being smart and strategic.

I took several jobs I knew I would hate while trying to keep teaching viable. I thought of them as day jobs. Looking back, I wasted two years. But I learned what I didn't want, which eventually helped me figure out what I did want.

What I Know Now That I Wish I'd Known Then

After going through this twice—leaving teaching and later transitioning from recruiting into full-time coaching—here's what I wish someone had told me:

Job loss is not a referendum on your worth. Whether you were laid off, fired, or forced out by circumstances, it doesn't mean you're not talented, valuable, or capable. It means circumstances changed.

Grief is part of the process. Don't rush past it, but also don't get stuck in it. Set boundaries around your grieving period, then get moving.

This is actually an opportunity. I know that sounds like toxic positivity when you're panicking about rent. But it's true. Most people never get the chance to reset and redesign their career path. You have that chance now.

You don't have to figure it out alone. Use career coaches, recruiters, your network, anyone who can help you get clarity and opportunity. I tried to do it alone for too long. Getting help accelerated everything.

The path isn't linear. My path went: professor → various miserable marketing jobs → recruiting → coaching. It wasn't a straight line. Yours won't be either. That's normal.

Your next job doesn't have to be your forever job. Just because you're unemployed now doesn't mean you have to find your perfect, forever career immediately. Find something good that moves you forward. You can always pivot later.

You're Going to Be Okay

Job loss is terrifying. I know. I've been there, grieving a career I loved, panicking about money, questioning my identity and worth.

But you know what? I'm on the other side now, doing work I love that I never would have found if I hadn't lost that teaching job. I help people navigate exactly what I went through. And I can't imagine doing anything else.

Your next chapter is out there. You just have to get honest with yourself, give yourself permission to grieve and then move forward, and be strategic about what you're building next.

Take your day or two to grieve and breathe. Then start defining your next steps. Design where you want to be, who you want to be, and what you want to be.

This is your chance. Don't waste it by just letting the next thing happen to you.

Yours in you're going to land somewhere even better goodness,

EBS

You Don't Have to Figure Out Your Career Alone (Here's How to Get Help)

Before I work with any client, I always ask them one question:

"What is the number one thing holding you back from career success?"

I get dozens of answers. Dozens and dozens. Like, way too many dozens of eggs left over from a Halloween prank-fest dozens.

But all of those answers are rewordings of one single problem. Always.

It's always: "A clear focus on what I want to be doing."

I hear you. So loud. So clear. Trust me when I tell you I know the frustration. The feeling that somehow everyone else has been let in on some secret that you're not cool enough to know.

The secret though? That's nonsense. Most people feel the same way you do.

Why Nobody Taught You How to Manage Your Career

Why? What the hell, man? It's because we're not taught how to manage our careers. We're taught what to know to get certain jobs and sometimes how to get jobs, but rarely, if ever, how to figure out what we want to do for a living, much less manage our careers once we're in them.

We're left to our own devices and frazzled HR directors and recruiters who have no time to have a career growth chat because they have to run payroll, get the new benefits system up and running, and talk to Joe about not wearing his daisy dukes, yes, even on casual Fridays.

So what then? What are you supposed to do?

You had no idea career coaching was a thing? Well, it IS a thing. And it's a thing TOTALLY not related to your strange high school counselor. You know, the one with the tiny office who always had a half-eaten cup of applesauce on her desk for some reason?

Here's what you need to understand: you absolutely don't have to figure out your career all by yourself. It's not just a good idea to get objective help in this arena, it's actually the smart thing to do.

What Career Coaching Actually Is (And Why You Might Need It)

So what is career coaching all about exactly, and who does it benefit?

I might be biased, but I think everyone, YES, everyone could benefit from a career coach. "Why?" you may be asking after you've finished making that dismissive sound.

Because first off, you need to be sure you're in the right career for you. And secondly, no matter your gig, stay-at-home parent or oil rig worker, you NEED a plan. A career plan allows you to strategically go after growth and opportunity. It allows you to see the big picture of where you want to go and how you want to travel that path.

Think about it: you wouldn't start a business without a business plan. You wouldn't build a house without blueprints. You wouldn't take a cross-country road trip without at least looking at a map. So why would you navigate something as crucial as your career, which takes up the majority of your waking hours for the majority of your adult life, without any strategic planning whatsoever?

Most people spend more time planning their two-week vacation than they do planning their career trajectory. That's bananas.

A career coach helps you:

• Get crystal clear on what you actually want, not what you think you should want

• Identify your unique strengths and how to leverage them

• Create a strategic plan for getting from where you are to where you want to be

• Navigate transitions, whether you're changing careers, industries, or roles

• Build confidence in your value and learn to communicate it effectively

• Hold you accountable to your goals when motivation wanes

• See patterns and possibilities you're too close to see yourself

It's like having a personal trainer for your career. You could figure out how to get in shape on your own, sure. But having someone who knows what they're doing, who can see what you can't, who can push you when you need pushing and support you when you're struggling, makes the whole process faster, easier, and more effective.

Each week I send a personal email, straight to your digital doorstep that gives you the real deal lowdown on how to Find Your Thing, define success for yourself, make money doing meaningful work and…… sometimes pictures of my dog. Because he’s cute. Get in on the list below and get the goodness, exclusive discounts, tips & tricks and those highly sought after dog pics. 

All the Ways You Can Get Career Help (Beyond Coaching)

Now I know private coaching isn't an option for everyone. So many coaches offer lower-cost group programs or self-paced online courses. But coaching isn't the only option. Below is a roundup of resources you might find helpful.

Career Blogs

You could start with career blogs. There are so many talented people out there offering help to you, for free, consistently. Reading career development blogs gives you access to insights, strategies, and perspectives you wouldn't have otherwise.

The key is finding voices that resonate with you. Not every career expert's approach will work for your personality or situation. Read widely, take what serves you, and leave the rest.

Comprehensive Interactive Websites

You can hit up some super comprehensive, totally interactive websites like The Muse or Career Contessa. These platforms offer everything from career advice articles to job listings to company reviews. They're one-stop shops for career exploration and job searching.

The Muse, in particular, has amazing company profiles that give you a behind-the-scenes look at what it's actually like to work there. Career Contessa focuses specifically on helping women navigate their careers and has incredible resources for everything from salary negotiation to career pivots.

Books

If you're a more tactile person and you prefer a good book, try picking up a copy of "Born for This" by Chris Guillebeau or "A Job to Love" from The School of Life.

Books allow you to go deep on a topic, work through exercises at your own pace, and return to concepts as you need them. The downside? They can't give you personalized feedback or hold you accountable. But as part of a larger strategy, they're invaluable.

Other excellent career books to consider:

• "Designing Your Life" by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans

• "What Color Is Your Parachute?" by Richard N. Bolles (a classic for a reason)

• "The Pathfinder" by Nicholas Lore

Recruiters and Temp Agencies

Want someone to do the heavy lifting for you? Leverage recruiters and even temp agencies. Their job is to analyze your skills and place you in a job you'd thrive in. You could try some national agencies like Premier Staffing or Robert Half.

Here's what many people don't realize: good recruiters aren't just trying to fill positions. They're trying to make matches that work long-term. They have insights into company cultures, hiring managers' personalities, and what skills are actually in demand. They can often see opportunities you wouldn't have known to look for.

The key is building relationships with recruiters in your field, not just reaching out when you're desperate for a job. Touch base regularly, keep them updated on your skills and goals, and be responsive when they reach out.

Assessment Tools and Tests

You could try taking a few tests. There is one called StrengthsFinder that many companies rely on. Once you know what your strengths are, you can make sure you are focusing on those in whatever role you're in because working to your strengths equals happiness.

Oprah apparently has an awesome and free career assessment test tool.

Other assessment tools worth exploring:

• Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) - helps you understand your personality type and how you work best

• CliftonStrengths (formerly StrengthsFinder) - identifies your top five strengths

• DISC Assessment - focuses on behavioral styles and communication preferences

• VIA Character Strengths - identifies your core character strengths

The caveat with tests: they're great starting points for self-reflection, but they're not gospel. Use them as conversation starters with yourself, not as definitive answers about who you are and what you should do.

Career Coaches (Yes, Really)

And of course, there are career coaches. It truly IS the most comprehensive and impactful option.

Why? Because coaching is personalized, strategic, and accountability-driven in a way that no book, blog, or assessment tool can be.

A career coach sees YOU. Not a general audience, not test-takers in aggregate, but you specifically. They help you dig into your unique situation, identify your specific roadblocks, and create a customized plan that actually works for your life.

They also call you on your patterns. That thing you keep doing that's holding you back? The story you keep telling yourself about why you can't? The opportunity you keep missing because you're not seeing it? A good coach spots that stuff and helps you work through it.

And critically, they hold you accountable. It's easy to set goals. It's hard to follow through, especially when you're doing it alone. A coach checks in, tracks your progress, and helps you course-correct when you get off track.

There are so many amazing coaches out there. You just need to do a little research to find the best one for you. Look for someone whose approach resonates, whose clients get results, and who you feel you could trust with your career aspirations and fears.

Many coaches offer free consultations so you can get a feel for their style before committing. Take advantage of these. Chemistry matters in coaching relationships.

How to Choose What's Right for You

See what I'm getting at? Don't feel like you've got to do it on your own. Try one, two, or a few, whatever feels good to you. But don't leave your career to chance. Figure out what you love to do, want to do, and make a plan.

Here's how to think about combining resources:

If you're just starting to explore: Begin with free resources like blogs, books, and assessment tools. Get familiar with career development concepts and start thinking about what you want.

If you're ready to make a move but need direction: Consider working with a recruiter or taking a structured online course. These give you more guidance and accountability than DIY resources.

If you're serious about major change or growth: Invest in coaching, whether group or one-on-one. This is where you get personalized strategy, deep work on mindset blocks, and accountability that actually moves the needle.

If money is tight: Start with free resources and group programs. Many coaches offer lower-cost group coaching that gives you most of the benefits of one-on-one work at a fraction of the price. Look for scholarships, sliding-scale options, or payment plans.

If you learn best by doing: Consider temp work or informational interviews alongside your other resources. Sometimes the best way to figure out what you want is to try things, even temporarily.

The Bottom Line: Your Career Is Too Important to Wing It

Here's what I want you to take away from this: the fact that you feel lost or unclear about your career direction doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. It means you weren't taught how to navigate this crucial part of your life.

But you can learn. And you don't have to learn alone.

The resources exist. The help is available. Coaches, recruiters, books, websites, assessment tools, they're all there waiting for you to use them.

Your career is going to take up roughly 90,000 hours of your life. That's too big a chunk of your existence to just hope it works out. You deserve to be strategic. You deserve to have a plan. You deserve support in figuring out what you actually want and how to get there.

So stop trying to figure it all out by yourself. Stop feeling like you should magically know what to do. Stop comparing yourself to people who seem to have it all figured out. They probably don't, or they got help getting there.

Get the support you need. Use the resources available. Build your plan.

Your career is waiting. And you don't have to find your way there alone.

Yours in you've got so much help available goodness,

EBS

Scared to Make a Career Move? Here's How to Take Action Anyway (Without Letting Fear Win)

Fear.

So many clients come to me out of fear. They say things like:

"I know I need a new career but I'm afraid." "I'm afraid I will never find my passion." "I want a new job, but I'm afraid I won't get one." "I need to do something I love but I'm afraid it won't happen." "I deserve a promotion but I'm afraid to ask." "I want to switch departments but I'm afraid they'll say no." "I want to start my own business but I'm totally overwhelmed."

SO. MUCH. FEAR.

All the fears. Which are totally rational, by the way. Making any change is scary. Making career changes, where your livelihood is at stake? Freakin' terrifying.

I wish I had a magic wand and I could make their fear disappear. But I don't and I can't. Does that mean that they are stuck with this career-crippling fear forever?

Absolutely not. IF they decide to tackle it head on.

Why Your Career Can't Be on Autopilot

Okay, I know you're hungover and your boss is being a pain and your Zoom keeps crashing, again, but you gotta focus. On you. Yup. Right now.

If you're cruising along thinking that careers just grow, blossom, and "work out" on their own, it's wake-up call time.

Your career is like that nifty succulent on your desk. It doesn't need to be replanted every day, but it does need care, attention, and sometimes water. Are you drinking enough water, by the way?

What I'm getting at here is that your career is your job. You have to work at it, at work. Make sense? You gotta drive this boat. You gotta do this thing, and the best way is to do it little by little.

The last few years have been a special kind of dumpster fire. There are some terrible things afoot. Employment rates continue to fluctuate wildly, and I know that can be terrifying. However, there is also some good stuff coming out of all this too.

No matter your job, career, or employment status at the minute, you should know that you absolutely can accelerate your career right now.

Remember, a single job is not your career. Your career is a collection of those jobs, freelance experiences, and businesses. So while you may be unemployed, taking a gig to tide you over, on furlough, or doing just fine, there are actions you can implement right now to get things on track and actually accelerate your career.

Here's the truth: if you want your career to be bigger, to be better, to do more than before, you need to take action. Not huge actions. Small, sometimes totally imperfect, big-time baby steps.

How to Move Through Fear (Five Steps)

Confronting your fear can be, well, frightening. How's that for meta? Follow these steps and you'll be well on your way to moving past those big fear blocks.

Step 1: Congratulate yourself for considering change

Honestly, it's a big deal. So many people never even get to the point where they move past being unhappy to actually making a decision to do something about it. You're ahead of the pack already.

Step 2: Accept that you're scared, acknowledge the fear

Fear is real and it's intense. Trying to pretend you're not scared doesn't help anyone or anything. Once you sit back, acknowledge that you're scared, but decide to move forward anyway, that's where things get real.

Step 3: Visualize the outcome of NOT taking any action

A good friend clued me into this concept when I was having trouble moving past something because I was frightened. And man oh man was she right. Find a quiet space, clear your head for a second, and just visualize. Visualize what will happen if you do nothing. How will you feel one month, six months, one year from now? The results of inaction are far more likely to be scarier than anything moving forward might bring.

Step 4: Take your time and be intentional

Now that you've decided to make something happen, don't just go running around the office yelling "BURN IT DOOOOWWWWN!" Take a few more moments to decide on a plan of action. You don't have to have it all figured out, but you do need at least a broad-strokes plan. You want to make your next move carefully and intentionally. But here's the cool thing: your next move is tiny. Like sooo little. Shhhh tiiiiinnnnyyy.

Step 5: Commit to doing one very small thing toward the change that scares you

I mean tiny. Minuscule. Really freaking small. Something like: putting some time on your calendar to research salaries for that role you have your eye on. Just block out 30 minutes on your calendar. That's it.

Write out a list of five people who inspire you. On a Post-it. Stick it on your desk. That's it. Just five.

Find an article to message the manager of that cool department you want to break into. That's all. Just find the article.

One TINY step will lead to another and another, and soon enough you'll have taken one actual full-sized step.

That's it. You, my friend, are now officially on your way and walking through all that fear. Well done you.

Ten Daily Actions That Accelerate Your Career (Despite the Fear)

I don't want you to get bogged down in a major career overhaul. I want you to get moving on small actions. All it takes is: one goal, one action, each day.

None of these take a ton of work, but their impact is huge. Give one or all a shot and see how far you go. And don't forget to hydrate.

1. Network like crazy

I don't care what industry you work in, what role you have, what your goals are. You HAVE TO network.

Good news is there are so many ways to network. You can absolutely find one that works for you. Totally online? Fine. Only in person? Great, pandemics permitting. Speed networking at hyperspecific conferences? You do you. Just do something.

Also be sure to choose a consistent action like: take out one person for coffee a month, ask for two informational interviews per week, or email one industry insider each day.

Keeping your network up-to-date, warm, and dynamic is genuinely the best thing you can do for your career. Keeping yourself top-of-mind, keeping yourself informed, keeping yourself connected can do exponentially more than a bag full of specialized skills and deep-dive know-how.

The old adage "it's not what you know but who you know" truly is a force. People recommend other people that they know, like, and trust. Someone else may know more than you, but if you know the right person, the job is yours. The project is yours. The corner office is yours.

Continue to build that know, like, and trust factor throughout the year and your career will expand in leaps and bounds.

2. Follow one industry leader, innovator, or insider each day on some social platform

LinkedIn is fantastic obviously, but other platforms like TikTok, and Instagram can be great too. Especially if you're in a creative field. But wait, there's more. Don't be a passive lurker. Interact with them.

Get to know them and they'll get to know you. You'll be surprised what kind of mentorship and opportunity can come from being actively engaged on socials.

Another old adage to take in here is: the only way to get better at tennis is by playing someone better than you.

This goes for most things. To become better at something, anything, you need to be challenged, you need to be questioned, you need to have to fend off a few serves flying at your face at full force.

The best way to be challenged is through mentorship, guidance, and inspiration. You can find those things by becoming immersed in the worlds of leaders, innovators, and insiders within your industry.

Follow them, interact with them, get to know what they know, and ideally get them to know you.

3. Have one priority to-do

What do you need to accomplish at work, in your job search, job growth, or career learning each day that needs your attention but has a habit of getting shuffled to the back burner?

Start each day by knocking out one to-do. If it's a big project at work, maybe you hop on it before you even look at your emails. If it's a class that you're taking, how about booking a conference room for 30 minutes and completing a module before lunch?

4. Research

Spend a few minutes each week researching your industry and your role. Check out industry news, research your company's competitors, research the salary for your role, research how and what tech will be changing your role.

Information and learning are key to growing. You can't cut a path to your career if you don't know the landscape.

Knowledge truly is power. The more you know about your role within the industry and what makes you unique and impactful, the more bargaining power you have when it comes to getting the initiatives you want, being on the team you want, and getting the money you deserve.

Spend this week learning all you can, but don't let it only be this week. Keep on top of this info. Don't let it go stale. Make sure you're in the know and use that knowledge.

5. Get on the calendar

Here's one you only need two minutes to do. Today.

Book some time on your manager's calendar to talk to her about your goals. Don't wait for review time. Ask how you can proactively grow in your role. Ask for active mentorship.

Unless you are vocal, your manager may have NO IDEA that you want more. They might be so buried in their own deliverables lists that they aren't paying attention to the fact that you haven't taken on more responsibility since last year. Your manager should want to help you grow. If they are resistant, they may not be the best manager for you.

6. Sign yourself up to learn a new transferable skill

It could be software, hardware, communications, leadership, almost anything. Ask HR if there's a company learning and development program. Or maybe they reimburse some tuition? Or they'll let you expense that one online course.

If no, find something you're itching to learn that grows your skills list and find a class you can afford and register yourself ASAP.

If you are currently looking, look at the job descriptions for that next great gig you have your eye on. Is there a skill gap you need to fill? There are a million inexpensive and free options for e-learning. Research the course, certificate, or program you need and get started.

7. This year's goal

Write down one thing you want to accomplish in your career or on the job in the remainder of this year. Then after your big, fat, juicy thing, write down all the teeny, tiny things it's going to take to get it done.

When you see it laid out in bite-sized steps, it stops seeming so overwhelmingly large and wayyyyyy more doable. Now put some time on your calendar, daily, to get those small steps done.

8. Next year's goal

Write down one thing you want to accomplish in the beginning of next year. Then follow the same process as your end-of-year project and make a plan to get it done.

9. Read

Read. Read more. And then read something else. It can be books, articles, magazines, journals, whatever is relevant for your industry and even some things that aren't. Have you seen the 1980s opus Working Girl? If not, go do it now. Because Tess, the lead, works her way to the top by reading and being smart enough to put the pieces together. Also, you can just watch it for the hair.

10. Update

Every week do some updating of your LinkedIn, resume, and portfolio. There's a few reasons.

First, when you are ready to jump ship, you'll be all good to go. Second, when you do decide to job hunt, you won't tip off your boss. Nothing is more of a red flag than an employee who suddenly has an updated profile. Third, this will help you keep track of your latest and greatest accomplishments so that when you talk to management about that raise, it will be all right there.

If you are currently looking, then this needs to be priority number one. You have to sell yourself into the gig you want, and these are your sales materials.

The Bottom Line on Fear and Action

Again, none of these actions take a ton of work, but they do take action. Actions need action. Get it? See what I did there?

All kidding aside, take the tiny steps and they will lead to some major career growth and acceleration.

Here's what I know after years of coaching people through career transitions: fear never fully goes away. You don't wait for the fear to disappear before you act. You acknowledge it, you respect it, and then you act anyway.

The secret isn't eliminating fear. The secret is making the steps so small that fear can't stop you.

Research salaries for 30 minutes? You can do that scared. Email one person in your network? You can do that scared. Follow one industry leader on LinkedIn? You can do that scared. Update one section of your resume? You can do that scared.

Each tiny action builds momentum. Each small step proves to yourself that you're capable of more than fear wants you to believe. And before you know it, you've taken a dozen tiny steps that add up to one giant leap.

Your career won't grow on autopilot. It needs you to tend to it, even when you're scared. Especially when you're scared.

So congratulate yourself for even considering change. Acknowledge that you're terrified. Visualize what happens if you do nothing. Make a tiny plan. And then take one very small action.

That's all it takes to start walking through the fear.

You've got this.

Yours in ‘grow, grow, grow your career boat’ goodness,

EBS

How to Find a Job That Makes You Happy (Without Starting From Scratch)

Quick question: If money wasn't an object, what would you do for a career?

What was your gut reaction, initial, no-overthinking response? Is it worlds apart from what you do now? Or is it being the "bomb ass boss" at your current gig?

What is it you want to do with your career, really?

I know, I know. Easier asked than answered.

Or just maybe, deep down you know the answer, but you're afraid of the answer or you have no idea how to move forward.

You might be sitting at your desk, asking "Is this it?" "Is this the best career for me?" "Because I'm not super happy and sort of want to strangle my cubicle-mate." Even if your cubicle mate is your actual mate because, work from home.

First off, slowly back away from your desk and realize that you're going to need to get real with yourself if you want a meaningful career, including a job that will make you happy.

Where Happiness at Work Actually Comes From

Job satisfaction is comprised of a lot of factors, but for you to be truly happy at work, you need to focus on yourself. Your personal connection to the work is where the happiness comes from.

Here's what I learned through two major career changes of my own: I used to be a professor. Yup. I taught courses like "The History of Creativity." That's totally a thing. Did you know that was a thing? I LOVED being a professor. But I also loved paying the rent. I'm not sure if you know this, but academia isn't exactly a cash cow.

I finally hit a breaking point financially and was forced to reconsider and reevaluate.

I tried out a few things, but nothing felt right.

I knew I wanted to continue educating and helping people find their thing. I knew I liked helping students figure their own stuff out. It was when I finally worked with a career coach that it became clear.

I specifically wanted to help people with their own career development and growth. It makes sense, right? Teaching college is helping students figure out what careers and futures they're interested in. Career development is the next logical step. Career development just made all sorts of sense.

Cool, but knowing what I wanted to be was only part of it. I had to figure out how to make my teaching skills make sense in corporate-land.

I made my way back to advertising and marketing, where I had worked until grad school. I dabbled in several roles until I found my footing in creative staffing. It's truly a mix of recruiting, management, learning and development, and a healthy dose of career coaching.

In my years of staffing candidates and coaching clients, as well as finding my own sweet spot, I've learned that finding a fulfilling career requires getting honest with yourself. Really honest.

The Power of Asking "Why?" Five Times

In order to find a job that makes you happy, you need to ask yourself ONE tough question, five times. Seriously.

This technique, borrowed from root cause analysis, helps you dig past surface-level complaints to understand what you actually need.

Step 1: If you are not currently happy at your job, ask WHY.

This is where you get to leave the stuff you don't like behind you. It goes like this:

"I don't like my job because I hate my boss." WHY do I hate my boss? "She's demanding." WHY is she demanding? "She acts like I don't know how to do my job." WHY does she act like that? "She is stressed all the time." WHY? "There are only two of us to do all the work." WHY? "It's a small company."

Based on all that, you may need to find yourself a larger company that allows you some trust and autonomy to do your job. Once you do this for the multitude of reasons you're currently unhappy, a picture should start to emerge of the type of job, company, and environment that will allow you a bit more job satisfaction.

Step 2: Ask WHY you want to work (other than a paycheck)

We all need to pay the landlord, but other than that, WHY do you want to work?

For example: "I want to have a sense of purpose." WHY? "I want to feel fulfilled at work." WHY? "I need to know that what I do matters." WHY? "Because otherwise, I'm just wasting my life." WHY? "Unless you're doing good, there's no point to it." WHY? "Doing good is the whole purpose of life."

You might need to find yourself a job or company that gives back in a big way. This may mean a gig in a small nonprofit, a massive corporation with a charitable foundation you can work for, or a midsize company with lots of volunteer days.

Step 3: What abilities, interests, and skills make you feel good, strong, and engaged?

Keep in mind that just because you're good at something, you don't have to do it for a living. I mean, I'm great at laundry, but I'm not about to open a dry cleaners.

So, what interests and skills do you have?

"I'm interested in art." WHY? "It's amazing to see all the ways someone can express themselves." WHY? "It really shows just how unique we all are."

Anything else?

"I'm good at organization." WHY? "I just get how to keep things straight so they're easily accessed." WHY? "My brain just sees things in a logical, mathematical way."

Who knows, maybe an operations position in an art gallery would knock your socks off. Maybe a solo business where you organize closets and show people how to dress creatively with items they already own could be your jam.

Step 4: How do you work best?

Under what conditions do you work best? Do you have a boss and are part of a team, or are you a solo-preneur? Do you go to an office, work from home, or the beach? How many hours do you put in and how much money are you making? Basically, how do you want to live life? WHY?

"I prefer to work in an air-conditioned office downtown." WHY? "I like the structure of having somewhere to go." WHY? "Otherwise I'd never put on pants." WHY? "I really like being at home, on my couch, with my dog and being comfortable, so going to an office makes me act like a real human." WHY? "Because I'd happily work in my underwear with Judge Judy on for background noise while eating PB&J every day if I didn't have to get dressed." WHY? "Because that's what makes me happy!"

Just saying, maybe you really do want a gig that lets you telecommute. Just put on a decent shirt for those Zooms, okay?

Step 5: So what?

This is where it all comes together. Go back through your answers to steps one through four and pull out what feels the MOST important to you. Now hit those with WHY.

I want to work part-time: WHY? So you can surf in the mornings? Awesome, brah. I prefer to work on my own: WHY? So you can be in charge? Get it, girl. I love the social media aspects of my job: WHY? It's engaging and fun. You betcha. I want to help women and folks with my work: WHY? The gender wage gap needs to go. Amen.

How does a remote social media strategist for small businesses sound? Boom. Done. Now go find yourself some true career happiness.

The Four Steps to Making It Happen

It really is about digging deep and being honest with yourself. I know you can do it. But once you know what you want, you need a plan to get there.

1. Start with Yourself

Outside of societal and family pressures, you need to acknowledge who you are and what you truly want. What your values, likes, and priorities are.

This doesn't have to be daunting. It can be as simple as sitting down with a pen and a notebook and really asking yourself what you want from life and how that reflects what's important to you.

Use the five-why technique above. Journal. Make lists. Talk to yourself out loud if that helps. The point is to get brutally honest about what you actually need to be happy, not what you think you should need.

2. Reach Out

Now that you've had a nice conversation with yourself, it's time to chat with other people. Especially people in your network.

Your network is a goldmine.

Want to know what it would be really like to be a preschool teacher or graphic artist? Reach out and ask. Someone you know is connected to everyone you want to talk to.

Use LinkedIn, email, your alumni association, your hair stylist's sister. Reach out and ask to take them for coffee or set up more formal informational meetings.

Everyone's favorite topic is themselves, so don't be afraid to politely ask. Most people are genuinely happy to help someone who's thoughtfully exploring career options.

3. Do the Work

Shadow, volunteer, and do freelance projects if at all possible. Even a few hours a month can give you real insight into a new role and lead to a vast network of connections.

If you're already working three jobs and just can't make the time commitment work, try squeezing in an e-course, webinar, or nighttime reading that is relevant to your career goal.

The point is to test your hypotheses. You think you'd love being a graphic designer? Great. Do a project or two. You might discover you love it, or you might realize you actually prefer the strategy side of creative work. Both discoveries are valuable.

4. Sell Yourself

Now that you know who you are, who you want to be, and what work you want to do, it's time to sell yourself.

You really only need three things to effectively market yourself into the job you want:

• LinkedIn profile (recruiters live and die by it)

• Portfolio/Website (no matter what your line is)

• Resume (yes, still)

Whether you are a career changer, freelance maven, corporate rockstar, or newbie grad, you need sales collateral. Yup, it's true. That's exactly what these things are, and if used correctly, they can do most of the job hunt work you hate doing.

If you've got all three of these buttoned up, recruiters will call you. For the rest of you, you need to get set up to sell yourself ASAP.

Building Your Sales Packet

Where do you start? With your story.

Before you slap together a profile, format a Google doc, or whip up a website, you need to start with a clear story of who you are, where you want to be, and why you want to be there. Most people treat their resumes as a list of past job descriptions. What you should be doing is using them to tell your story. To outline why you're the perfect fit for that bigger, better job.

Gather a list of five to 10 bullet points that highlight your unique value, impressive stats, and skills you want to build on. Use these "Story Bullets" to build out your summary, job history, and "about me" pages. Your LinkedIn, resume, and website need to be cohesive and work together. Using the same wording for your summaries on each will not only save you time but help you form your personal sales pitch.

Look at your bullets and focus on the ones that a recruiter hiring for the "next big gig" you want would be searching for. Don't focus on the job you want out of. Show that you're right for the next level up.

For example, Jack, of Beanstalk fame, might have the following bullets:

• Co-Founder of Giant Slayers Inc, which sold for 45 million farthings

• Deep understanding of the gold-egg market

• 62 percent rise in used-cow sales within two years

• First to market with singing harp services app

These could be summarized as: "I'm a marketer with six years of in-depth experience in multiple markets including golden eggs, harps, and cows. My experience in multi-channel campaigns, campaign management, and technology development has given me unique insight into the giant-slaying arena."

Now, for his job history sections, Jack should list his absolute best or biggest accomplishment, or story bullet, as his first. Again, highlight the skills and accomplishments that will appeal to the hiring manager you're gunning for. Don't just rewrite your current job description.

A portfolio for creatives is a 100 percent must, but it can be invaluable to all types of professions.

What's the first rule of story writing? Show, don't tell. Well, a website lets you show, not tell, your skills. For many people, building a website feels intimidating, but it can be a simple templated site hosted on a free or low-cost service.

Your Bare Basics Checklist

LinkedIn:

• Photo

• Summary

• Contact info

• Job history with key bullets featured

• Skills listed

Portfolio/Website:

• Photo

• Summary

• Contact info

• Links to social accounts

• Links to relevant content: blogs, creative works, case studies

• Link to resume

Resume:

• Summary

• Contact info

• Job history focusing on key bullets but with more complete skills and accomplishments listed

• Skills section highlighting those most useful for the job you are going after

Making It Strategic

Three emails sent to viable network connections are worth 50 resumes sent out into the internet void.

Do your research and tailor each application, cover letter, and email to that specific person, for that specific role, that you are specifically interested in and fit for.

This whole process can take days, weeks, or even months. Go at your speed and try not to play the comparison game. Who cares if your younger cousin appears more successful than you. You don't know her life.

Eyes on your own paper, butt in your own lane.

Focus on you and your path.

The Bottom Line

Finding a job that makes you happy isn't about chasing some vague passion or settling for misery because you think you're stuck. It's about getting honest with yourself through deep questioning, understanding what you actually need to thrive, and then strategically positioning yourself for the work that aligns with those needs.

Start with the five whys. Figure out what you actually want, not what you think you should want. Then reach out, do the work, and sell yourself effectively.

You don't need to start from scratch. You just need to understand yourself better and communicate your value more clearly.

Now go get 'em, tiger.

Yours in you really can find work that makes you happy goodness,

EBS