Let's address the elephant in the room: when it comes to networking, half of people are chomping at the bit while the other half are freaking out because they very much do not want to participate. If you fall into the latter category, you're not alone. Almost everyone claims to hate networking.
But here's a truth that might change your perspective entirely: there really are alternatives to traditional networking. Or more accurately, there are alternatives to what you think networking is and how you approach it.
Before we dive into those alternatives, let's talk about why networking matters in the first place—because understanding the "why" makes the "how" much easier to embrace.
Why Networking Is Non-Negotiable for Your Career Success
I work with incredibly smart people who, for some reason, don't believe me when I tell them this statistic: 70-80% of all jobs are never posted publicly.
Read that again. Seventy to eighty percent.
What this means is that sending your resume into 20 internet black holes is going to be far less effective than having one meaningful conversation with someone in your target industry. The hidden job market is real, and the only way to access it is through connections with real people.
You've heard the sayings: "Your network is your net worth" and "It's not what you know, it's who you know." They may be clichés, but they're absolutely true. Networking is imperative for career success. It's a must-do, whether you love it or hate it.
But here's the good news: networking doesn't have to be the smarmy, self-promoting, business-card-flinging gross-fest you're imagining.
Reframing Networking: What It Actually Is
What's that you say? You "hate" the concept of networking? Do you have a group of friends? Any social media accounts? Then congratulations—you're already a networker.
The truth is, even good networkers don't love the stale, self-promoting style of networking events from decades past. A collection of career-forwarding relationships (also known as a "network") doesn't have to be a formal, sleazy, name-tag-dependent thing.
Today, most people want to make real connections with others who can offer a give-and-take relationship. Once you realize that most people are just like you (they hate the hard handshake but appreciate meeting someone who's genuinely interested in them and what they do) networking becomes so much easier.
Try reframing networking in one of these ways:
As a way to help other people: If you look at networking as connecting people to opportunities that could change their lives, it suddenly becomes a fun, heartwarming, do-good activity instead of a sleazy sales pitch.
As meeting interesting people: Focus on the fact that you're encountering people who share your interests and have fascinating stories, skills, and perspectives to share.
As building authentic relationships: Meaningful networking means offering value and help to others, not just grabbing at anyone who might advance your career.
When you shift your mindset this way, networking transforms from something you dread into something that can actually be enjoyable (or at least tolerable.)
Six Powerful Alternatives to Traditional Networking Events
The best alternative-to-networking opportunities still involve meeting new people, but in new ways with much less pressure. If you want to create a career that fits you, networking will be key. Try a few of these approaches and watch your network grow organically:
1. Demographically Specific Organizations
Groups like industry-specific associations offer calendars of events and chances to learn while meeting leaders in your field. These organizations bring together like-minded individuals you already have something in common with and they want to connect with you and want you to be part of their community.
The shared identity or experience creates an instant foundation for genuine connections. You're not just networking; you're joining a community that understands your unique perspective and challenges.
2. Meetup Groups and Interest-Based Communities
Pick a thing. Any thing. There's a group that wants to get together and talk about or do that thing. It's a perfect space to meet people you have something in common with and forge genuine connections.
Here's the beautiful part: it doesn't have to be (and shouldn't be) all about business. You and someone named Joe might bond over your shared love of succulent gardening, and he just happens to have a sister who runs that company you're interested in talking to. But really, the conversation is genuinely about your succulent garden. The career connection is an organic byproduct, not the forced objective.
These low-pressure environments allow relationships to develop naturally around shared interests, which often leads to stronger, more authentic professional connections than traditional networking events ever could.
3. Non-Networking Events Related to Your Interests
Are you really into handmade items but you work in online marketing? Grab a stack of your handmade, wooden business cards and attend a craft fair or makers conference. Form genuine connections with sellers you like. Do you know how many of them would love to market their inventory online? Almost all of them.
Chat about their hand-knit phone cases, make friends, and hand over a business card. Networking accomplished! Boom.
Have you always wanted to learn rock climbing? Head to your local climbing gym, join other climbers who need partners, and make those connections. I personally know more than one person who has made a large-scale career jump after meeting a connection while dangling sky-high from fake rocks. True story.
The key is pursuing activities you're genuinely interested in. When you show up as your authentic self, doing something you actually enjoy, you're relaxed and engaging—exactly the person others want to connect with.
4. Entrepreneur and Industry-Specific Organizations
Groups and industry associations like the National Association of Social Workers (NASW) or Restaurant.org offer ready-made networks. They've done all the organizational work for you! Your only job is to add to the group and augment the dynamic they've created. In return, you'll organically grow your pool of people you can help and who can help you.
Not an entrepreneur? No problem. Find a group that caters to your particular industry or professional role. Most industries have multiple associations that offer networking events, educational opportunities, and online communities. All you have to do is show up and participate authentically.
5. Volunteer Organizations
There are sites that can match you to volunteer opportunities nationwide, but don't forget to think locally. Most cities have volunteer-specific pages on their websites featuring various opportunities.
Many leaders consider volunteer work an integral part of their lives, and they respect and connect with others who do too. A friend of mine was offered her current position after meeting her boss at a food bank! He was impressed by her organizational skills and commitment to the community.
Here's the important part: she didn't go there to "network." She went because she genuinely cares about the organization's mission. That authenticity showed through and created a meaningful connection.
Critical caveat: If you're not a dog person, don't volunteer at the animal shelter just to network. You need to pick a cause you're genuinely passionate about, because you're attempting to make genuine relationships, and you can't do that if you're faking it. People can always tell when your heart isn't in it.
6. Online Groups and Communities
If you aren't able to meet people in the real world, there are unlimited networking opportunities available online. This has become especially valuable in our increasingly remote and global work environment.
Choose your career field or a topic you're passionate about and start connecting. Want to talk about art? Are you an academic? Do you have great rapport with fellow designers on Pinterest? Have you formed connections with commenters on your favorite industry blog or podcast community?
These all count as real relationships (yes, even your guild members in that online game you play every day). The connections you make in Slack channels, LinkedIn groups, Reddit communities, Discord servers, or industry-specific forums are just as valuable as in-person relationships. Keep up the conversation and make those connections count.
When You Must Attend Official Networking Events: 20 Tips to Make Them Less Awful
It's absolutely easier to network at smaller, less official events. But what do you do when you need to attend an "Official" Networking Event, the kind with name tags, awkward small talk, and aggressive business card exchanging?
Here are 20 tips to make these events valuable, way less awkward, and yes, even enjoyable (I know, crazy right?):
Before the Event:
1. Set a realistic goal: Aim to have 1, 2, or 3 meaningful conversations total. That's it. You don't need to work the entire room. Quality beats quantity every time.
2. Remind yourself of the value you offer: Before you walk in, take a moment to remember what you bring to the table. You have skills, experiences, and perspectives that others will find valuable.
3. Don't go on an empty stomach: You want to focus on conversations, not obsessing over the appetizer tray or feeling lightheaded from low blood sugar.
During the Event - General Strategies:
4. Yes, wear the name tag: Put it on the right side if possible—it's really helpful for people who struggle with names, and when you shake someone's hand, their eyes naturally travel to your right side.
5. Smile genuinely: Not in a creepy Joker way, but warmly. A genuine smile signals approachability and makes others comfortable.
6. Say "hi" to anyone you know: This helps you get comfortable in the space and gets you talking, but keep these initial conversations short and sweet so you can meet new people.
7. Take a lap around the space: Check out who's where, what's where, where the food is, where the bathroom is. Getting oriented helps you feel more in control.
8. Keep your right hand free: This is the handshaking hand! Keep your left hand free to hold your drink so you're not fumbling when you meet someone.
During the Event - Conversation Strategies:
9. Focus on listening: The key to connecting is asking open-ended questions and genuinely listening to the answers. Start with questions like "What brought you here tonight?" or "What are you working on these days?"
10. Offer valuable help: After chatting for a bit, ask "How can I best help you?" or "What's your biggest challenge right now?" This shifts the dynamic from transactional to collaborative.
11. Introduce people to each other: Connect anyone you know to other people you know, even if you just met both of them 15 minutes earlier. Being a connector makes you memorable and valued.
12. Be honest if you've forgotten a name: If someone didn't wear their name tag, just be upfront: "We met last year at the tech conference, right? Of course I remember you, but I'm sorry I've forgotten your name." People appreciate honesty over awkward dodging.
13. It's okay to break into conversations: Especially in larger groups. Go ahead and introduce yourself. Most people at networking events expect and welcome this.
14. Have business cards accessible: Keep them in an easily grabbable spot. Yes, actual physical cards still matter at in-person events.
During the Event - Managing the Experience:
15. Ending one-on-one conversations gracefully: This can be awkward. Hand over your card during a natural lull and say you'd love to keep in touch or learn more. Or mention that you want to connect with a few more people before the event ends and ask for their card before moving on.
16. Drink mindfully: If it's a boozy event, it's totally okay not to drink! Or if appropriate, enjoy yourself—just beware of saying something you'll regret later.
17. Avoid wall-hugging: Don't stick to the walls with your face in your phone. I know it's tempting when you feel awkward, but you have to get yourself out there to make connections.
18. Introduce yourself to the organizer: If you can, do it! Event organizers tend to be super-connectors, and you definitely want to know those people.
The Most Important Tip:
19. Go with the goal of helping others: When you show up authentically with the intention of forming genuine connections and offering value to others, you'll naturally build meaningful relationships. This mindset transforms the entire experience.
20. Remember that everyone feels awkward: Seriously. Even the people who look comfortable probably felt nervous walking in. You're all in this together.
Making Your Networking Efforts Count
No matter how you connect with someone—whether at a craft fair, through a volunteer organization, in an online community, or at a traditional networking event—the follow-up is crucial.
Here's what NOT to do: Don't send them an email that asks for 20 minutes to "pick their brain." This is the fastest way to get ignored.
Here's what to do instead: Your job now is to create a mutually beneficial relationship, so start by offering to help them. Send a message referencing your conversation, sharing a resource you mentioned, making an introduction they'd value, or offering your specific expertise on a challenge they mentioned.
When you lead with generosity and genuine interest, you never know what might be offered to you in return. The best networking relationships are built on reciprocity and authentic connection, not transactional asks.
Finding Your Networking Style
Look, I don't care what industry you work in, what role you have, or what your goals are—you have to network. There's simply no way around it if you want to advance your career and access the hidden job market.
But here's the good news: there are so many ways to network. You just need to find the approaches that work for you.
Did you discover you love online networking events? Great, keep doing those!
Do you feel like you can only connect authentically in person? Fine! Lean into face-to-face opportunities.
Is speed networking at hyper-specific conferences your jam? You do you.
The point is: just do something. Start somewhere. Try different approaches until you find the ones that feel natural and productive for you.
The Bottom Line on Networking
Networking doesn't have to be the soul-crushing, awkward experience you've built it up to be in your mind. When you reframe it as building authentic relationships with interesting people who share your interests and values, it becomes infinitely more manageable and maybe even enjoyable.
Remember these key principles:
Authenticity beats polish: People connect with genuine humans, not perfectly polished networkers. Be yourself, share your real interests, and let connections develop naturally.
Quality trumps quantity: One meaningful conversation is worth more than 50 business cards collected. Focus on depth, not breadth.
Giving creates receiving: When you lead with generosity, making introductions, sharing resources, offering help—people naturally want to reciprocate. The best networking is never one-sided.
Alternative venues work better for most people: You don't have to force yourself to attend traditional networking events if they make you miserable. Find the environments where you naturally thrive and build connections there.
The hidden job market is real: With 70-80% of jobs never posted publicly, your network genuinely is your most valuable career asset. Investing time in building relationships isn't optional if you want career success—it's essential.
Everyone feels awkward: Even the most confident-seeming networkers felt nervous at some point. You're not uniquely bad at this; you're just human.
So stop telling yourself you hate networking. What you actually hate is inauthentic, transactional interactions with strangers. What you can learn to enjoy is meeting interesting people, helping others succeed, and building a community of professional relationships that enrich both your career and your life.
Now get out there! Whether that's to a volunteer event, a Meetup group, an online community, or yes, even a traditional networking event—and start building the connections that will open doors you didn't even know existed.
Your future career opportunities are waiting in conversations you haven't had yet with people you haven't met. So make it your mission to start having those conversations, in whatever way feels most authentic to you.
Ready to build a network that actually works for your career? Remember: networking isn't about collecting contacts, it's about cultivating relationships. Start with one genuine connection, and build from there.
Yours in “go meet some folx!” goodness-
EBS
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