Get prepared for a lot of dating analogies and to hear something important you might not like. You ready?
Your one and only Dream Job doesn't exist. Or, if it does, it ain't so dreamy.
In the immortal words of 1980s hair-band juggernaut Poison, "Every Rose Has Its Thorn." There isn't a single gig on this earth that is 100 percent perfect, or not on this earth if being an astronaut is your thing.
It's an unrealistic recipe for unhappiness to expect your dream job to be perfect or that you will be perfect in any role. Think of it this way: your dream mate may be very close to your current partner, but I'm willing to bet your dream mate doesn't belch or leave a mess in the bathroom.
I'm not saying you can't have the career of your dreams. I'm just advocating for being realistic and understanding that no single job can make you 100 percent happy, satisfied, and fulfilled. At some point, that dream job is going to drink out of the milk carton. Understanding this will allow you to make informed career decisions that lead to your being a whole, fulfilled person.
What You Should Actually Strive For
What you can and should strive for is to find a career you are interested in and enjoy, one that lines up with your core values and beliefs but perhaps isn't your end-all-be-all-hanger-of-all-hopes-and-dreams.
Taking the pressure off your career to be everything to you will help you succeed with ease. If you put all your hopes into that one dream job, being The One, you just set yourself up for divorce. Er, disappointment.
Even with a stellar boss and brilliant company, no matter the job, there will be downsides and compromises that need to be made. But as long as the gig lines up with your values, you're bound to be happier than not.
What I'm getting at is that staunch socialists probably shouldn't date the trust fund kid of an oil magnate.
If your dream job is to own a boutique, you may find that curating awesome objects doesn't win out over monthly inventory spreadsheets, yearly taxes, payroll filing, and legal fees. Just like with dating: he's hot, successful, and likes the same trash TV as you? Great. What about those mommy issues?
There are always more fish in the... I mean other totally great jobs.
My Dream Job Reality Check
Example: I once was working at my dream job. I had worked my ass off to get there, only to find that there were many parts of my job I loathed. The lack of salary, support, and basic materials needed to do my job, for starters. It got to the point that the real issues far outweighed the dream aspects. It was time for a divorce.
Was I devastated? You betcha. I had been sold the lie of the "One And Only, You'll Won't Be Happy Unless You Have It, Dream Job" fallacy. But once I crawled out from under the weight of "What the hell do I do now?!" I was on to not my first love job, but a more mature "we get each other," totally my thing career number two. Because guess what? There's always more.
There really is always another gig. And here's the deal: it's okay to date around. You don't have to marry yourself off to an ideal that doesn't exist. It's fine to dream about a fantasy job, as long as you realize it's just that. You could work for 10 years to get to that fantasy, only to realize that it ain't all it's cracked up to be and you don't really want it anymore.
Think about your dream date in eighth grade. Does the wafting scent of Axe body spray come to mind? Do you want to date that now? Of course you don't. You've grown and thankfully changed your mind.
A job you wanted at 22 might bore 42-year-old you to tears. Do you really want to be a bartender at that crazy-hipster club downtown now? The 11 p.m. to 3 a.m. shift? For the next 15 years? If you do, more power to you, my friend. Also, get me and a plus one on the guest list for Thursday night.
If you spend your energy and spin your wheels working toward the dream job you've built up in your mind, you could miss out on amazing opportunities happening around you now. Staying hyper-focused on a far-off fantasy might mean that you overlook a career option you never knew was possible.
Before You Jump Ship: Ask These Five Questions
It's pretty safe to say that we all did a collective re-evaluation of what is truly important to us in the last few years. For many of my clients, their previous idea of success flew out the window. Things that had been deemed urgent, necessary, and important just aren't anymore.
So maybe you're thinking you want to jump ship from your current gig because it's just not as fulfilling as it may have been. You are NOT alone. So many clients have come to me recently because they've reconnected with their values and priorities and realized that their current job, and maybe even their career, is ready for a shake-up.
Before you make any rash "I'M OUTTA HERE and moon your boss over Zoom" type of decisions, there are a few questions you should ask yourself.
At the heart of any life-change situation, there are a few basic questions that should always be asked: Who? What? Where? When? and Why?
If you're not completely satisfied in your current role and are contemplating a change, you need to take the time to ask yourself these same questions, or you will find yourself in the same boat a few months after you jump ship.
Who do you want to work with that you're not getting a chance to in your current workplace?
Are you a junior creative who wants more direct mentorship from the creative director? Are you a pink-haired punk whose desk is covered in Star Wars figures, and all your coworkers are beige-clad, sensible-heel-wearing squares? Would you prefer coworkers who were more like you?
In your current role, there might be simple ways to work closer to people you want to. Just ask for the opportunity. Ask to be put on a project with that team or ask for mentorship with a particular manager.
If there's no possible way to work with the people you want at your current position, make sure to ask yourself specifically why you want to work with them. Is it to learn, to feel more comfortable culturally? Great. Know what type of people you want to work with and take that info with you to your next role.
What do you want to be working on that you're not?
If you want to make TV commercials but you're stuck in accounting, it might be time to move. Are you basically happy at your job but just want to work on a different client within your accounts? That might be more possible with a few conversations with your manager. If you want to make hamburgers but you work in a chocolate shop, then yeah, get that resume together.
Sit back and ask yourself exactly what it is you want to be working on and why you want to be working on that specific thing. Got the answer? Let the hiring manager at your next interview know exactly what you would like to work on and that you're jumping ship for the opportunity to do it.
Where do you want to work?
Not just physical location, but what about the size and culture of your current workplace isn't satisfying? If it's a matter of you working in the New York office but you'd be happier in London, ask for a transfer.
Do you want to work in a small company but you're one of thousands? Do you want to work in a multinational corporation, but you share your boss's home office with the one other employee? Knowing what size of company you feel you make the most impact in is important.
Size tends to also affect company culture. Culture isn't ping-pong tables, beer kegs, and jaunty sea shanty sing-alongs. It's the way the company operates and treats its employees. It's how they get things done. If you want a younger-skewed, informal, nonprofit-giving culture but you work as a bond trader in a blue blazer, it's definitely time for a move.
When? Do you know for sure you're ready to jump ship?
You're 100 percent certain that you want to leave big-city life and go work on a dairy farm? More power to you. When do you want to do that? ASAP? After you have saved up a hefty money cushion? Before the next business quarter? Once you have a solid date, you can work backward toward a clear exit strategy, including networking, interviewing, and notice giving.
Why? Back to the basic question. Why are you unhappy at your current job?
A little self-examination upfront can save you many tears spilled in the mailroom. If it's simply a matter of a salary bump, go forth and talk to your manager. However, if you're intrinsically unhappy because your career doesn't line up with your larger life goals, values, and priorities, then yes. Jump.
Redefining Success on Your Own Terms
Here's what I want you to do: take a step back, breathe, and then write it down. Don't overthink this. Check in with your gut. Ready? Go:
What are your top five personal values as you understand them to be today?
Then your top three priorities in life as they stand today.
Now, use those conclusions to set your goals for this year and beyond.
Scrap everything that came before. Throw your to-do list out the window. Start over. You can and should give yourself a fresh start.
Taking a look at your values and priorities, how will you redefine success for yourself? Success for you, not based on societal pressures. Not based on what you were working toward before. Not what you had thought you were supposed to be doing, but what would success look like for you this year?
Success for me would be: ____________________________________________
Write it down. Actually write down what success looks like for you now. Write down why it's different and why that difference is important. Write it down in your journal or your notes app or on a Post-it. However and wherever you will see it regularly.
The vision you have of your future may have radically changed. The things you thought were important to you, the amount of work you felt you needed to do each day, what the end goal of that work even was. It may have changed to the point where what you want now is a complete 180 from what you've been working for before. Honor that.
Take the time you need to get clear on what you truly, in your heart of hearts, want. Let yourself let go of all the goals of the past, knowing they no longer serve you.
If you've found that your ambitions seem smaller, that your actual needs seem less, then celebrate that and decide how you want to move forward understanding what your needs really are.
Whatever those needs, desires, and goals are, make sure that they are in your best interest. That they resonate with your core values and priorities and that they truly are your goals that will allow you to be living your most meaningful, happiest life.
So You've Decided to Make the Leap
Well done you. Let's all take a minute to acknowledge that that's a HUGE decision.
I don't have to tell you that you've got a bit of work ahead of you, but it is worth it. I promise. I also don't have to tell you to not just stab at this thing in the dark. You know you can't go off all willy-nilly. You need a game plan.
Here are the five essential steps to make your career transition successfully:
Step 1: Research
You've decided you want to be a thing. A new thing. That's all kinds of awesome. BUT do you know what it really means to do the thing? Have you talked to people who do that thing all day, every day? Have you read up on latest trends for that role in that industry? Have you checked out profiles of people doing that thing on LinkedIn? Do they seem like people you want to hang with? It's time to crack the proverbial books, my friend.
Step 2: Show You Can Do the Work
You are living in a magical wonderland of a world where a thing called the internet exists. Before this innovation, there was little way to prove you could do a new job. But now you can with even the most simple online portfolio. It doesn't matter if you're going into a creative field or not. A simple site that tells your story, showcases your work, highlights your skills, and helps hiring managers understand why YOU are a fit for this role is necessary. Try a free service like Wix or an inexpensive one like Squarespace.
Step 3: Get to Networking
Reach out to your immediate network: friends, family, head of your kickball team, your favorite bartender. Ask them who they know.
Connect with other people who are currently doing the job you want. Just be real, genuine, and non-creepy about it. Your college groups—alumni associations, fraternities, sororities, theater and debate groups—are gold mines for these types of connections. LinkedIn should be your next port of call. Research those in similar titles and find a way to connect with them on common ground.
Actively reach out to recruiters and hiring managers in the field. They genuinely want to know you're out there. Their job is to hire talented and energetic people. Get on their radar. Make a list of 25 places you would be excited to work at. Then hit up the hiring managers and recruiters. Let them know you're interested not only in a role but the company as a whole. Make it tailored to them. And DON'T wait for a job posting to be posted. Save them some work and build a relationship before they need to fill a role. When the time comes, hey look, you.
Remember, the goal is not just meeting people but meeting people who can help you learn and help you get into the job you want.
Step 4: Work on the Side
Unless you have a monetary safety net, you're going to need to transfer into your new role slowly while you build your skills and expertise. There are, lucky for you, more ways to do this than ever. You can legit side hustle where you take on work as a full-on-part-time-side job.
You will be tired and never feel organized enough, but you will also gain fantastic real-life work experience.
You can also volunteer your services for nonprofits. They need help, you need a portfolio of work experience. Win-win.
You can get on a site like Upwork or Fiverr and do a project here and there. You can ask your uncle Bob to hire you as an intern at his cement-pouring company. However much you can commit to, do it.
Step 5: Keep at It
Keep networking. Keep making connections. Keep working. Keep interviewing. Keep knowing that you've got this.
Before you know it, you'll be on your way and doing your new thing.
The Real Dream Job
You absolutely can still follow your passion, do what you love, live your bliss, all of it. Just understand that you have to act with intention and that you're going to have to make compromises somewhere. I mean, that perfect guy? He's got a real ear-hair issue. Just saying.
What I'm saying is this: ditch the fantasy of the perfect dream job that will solve all your problems and make you deliriously happy every single day. It doesn't exist.
Instead, find work that aligns with your values, interests you, challenges you, and allows you to be the most you. Find work where the good far outweighs the annoying parts. Find work that supports the life you actually want to live, not the life you think you're supposed to want.
That's the real dream. And it's so much better than the fantasy because it's actually achievable.
Here's to your success. It can be whatever you want it to be.
Yours in career goodness-
EBS
—-
EB Sanders | Career Coach for Creative Types
