"I lost my job."
Those are some of the most dreaded words in any language.
We've all been there. There was a layoff. The startup shuttered. You got yourself fired. Or it was just an out-and-out unexplained termination.
Job loss happens. It can send you into a tailspin. But it also means that you have an opportunity to get another job. A better job. A job you really want.
I know this because I've lived it. Not once, but through multiple career transitions that forced me to start over when I desperately didn't want to. Let me tell you a story.
True Confessions: I Booty Called My Ex-Career
I used to be a college professor. No, really.
I was a Humanities Professor at several fantastic colleges here in the Bay Area, teaching courses like "The History of Creativity" and "Values and Culture." As I'm sure you know, education and academia is not a cash cow, but I looooooved my job. Like REALLY loved it. So I scrimped, saved, and worked weird little jobs in the cracks between classes to make ends meet.
It was not only a job I loved, but it was my dream job that I had worked incredibly hard to get.
But it all finally came to a head when my options were: (a) move across the country for a tenure track position and be struggling slightly less financially, only now in a place far from home and family, OR (b) find a new career.
How did I feel about my options? I was devastated. It was like a long-term, "this is it forever" romantic relationship ending. It took me months of soul searching and not a few tears to get to a place where I could even acknowledge that there really were other doors.
Wide open doors.
The Part Nobody Talks About: How Freaked Out You'll Be
While I've talked before about what steps I took to find a new job to love, we need to talk about how incredibly freaked out I was.
While intellectually I knew I had to make a career change, I just couldn't give up a job that I loved so much it had been the basis of much of my identity. I was a teacher. That's who I was. Who was I without that?
I made my way back to advertising and marketing, where I had worked before grad school, as I struggled to keep teaching by holding on to one or two night classes. I dabbled in several roles and took a series of jobs that I knew I would hate, which I looked at as a good thing because I thought that somehow I could still make teaching viable. Any other job would "just" be a day job that I could leave when I finally found a way to make teaching work.
It was like booty calling my ex-career.
After TWO, yes TWO, years of drunkenly texting my ex-career, I finally had "the talk" with myself that someone always has to have with you after a breakup. The "IT'S OVER, MOVE ON" talk. The hard truth that your bestie gives you.
But unlike a true breakup, nobody was telling me they "never really liked my career anyway." Nobody understood that I was grieving. Forget bringing over ice cream to help me get through it.
After the talk with myself, I knew the era of the "day job" was over. I needed a new career, for real.
This is the part of job loss nobody prepares you for: the grief, the identity crisis, the desperate clinging to what was, and the terrifying uncertainty of what comes next.
What to Do When You Lose Your Job (The Real Steps)
Whether you lost your job through layoffs, termination, or like me, economic necessity that forced you out of something you loved, here's what you need to do. Not the sanitized version. The real version.
First: Take a Day or Two to Grieve and Breathe
I'm serious. You're allowed to be devastated. You're allowed to be angry. You're allowed to binge-watch trash TV and eat your feelings for 48 hours.
Job loss is loss. Even if you hated the job, you've lost income, routine, identity, and stability. If you loved the job, you've lost a piece of yourself.
So grieve. Feel your feelings. Acknowledge that this sucks.
But set a timer. Give yourself a defined period to wallow, and then it's time to get moving.
Step One: Define Your Next Steps
This is your chance to design your career. Don't let this opportunity pass you by.
I know that sounds ridiculous when you're panicking about how to pay rent. But hear me out: instead of letting your next job just happen to you, you now have the rare opportunity to actively design where you want to be, who you want to be, and what you want to be.
Most people drift through their careers, taking whatever comes next, moving laterally or slightly up, never questioning if they're on a path they actually want. Job loss, as painful as it is, gives you permission and necessity to ask the hard questions.
Ask yourself:
What did I love about my last job? What did I hate?
What would I do differently if I could start over?
What have I been putting off or ignoring because I was comfortable?
If money wasn't the primary concern, what would I be doing?
What skills do I have that I haven't been using?
What kind of work environment actually makes me thrive?
Don't rush past this step. This is the foundation of everything that comes next.
Step Two: Get Honest About Your Situation
You need to assess where you are financially, professionally, and emotionally.
Financial reality check:
How long can you survive without income?
Do you need any job immediately, or do you have runway to be selective?
What's your absolute minimum salary requirement?
Can you freelance or consult while you search?
Professional inventory:
What transferable skills do you have?
What's your network like? Who can you reach out to?
What does your LinkedIn, resume, and portfolio look like? Do they need updating?
What gaps in your skills or experience might you need to address?
Emotional honesty:
Are you ready to move forward, or are you still in the anger/bargaining phase?
What are you most afraid of?
What stories are you telling yourself about why you lost your job or what it means about you?
I spent two years trying to make teaching work when it was clearly not viable. Don't do what I did. Get honest with yourself quickly.
Step Three: Update Your Materials and Get Visible
Before you do anything else, you need to update your LinkedIn, resume, and portfolio. You need to tell your network you're available. You need to make yourself visible and ready.
This isn't just about job hunting mechanics. It's about shifting your identity from "person who lost their job" to "professional actively pursuing their next opportunity."
Immediate actions:
Update LinkedIn with your most recent accomplishments and skills
Write a brief, professional post letting your network know you're open to opportunities
Refresh your resume with recent wins and quantifiable achievements
If relevant, update your portfolio with your best recent work
Reach out to five people in your network just to reconnect (not to ask for jobs, just to touch base)
Step Four: Decide What You're Actually Looking For
This is where the design work from Step One pays off. You now need to get specific about what you're targeting.
Are you looking for the same role in a different company? A similar role in a different industry? A completely different career path?
The more specific you can be, the more you can target your search and the more your network can help you.
I knew I wanted to continue educating and helping people find their thing. I knew I liked helping people figure their own stuff out. But I had NO IDEA what form that would take in a career.
All signs were pointing toward "coach," but I absolutely did not want to be a coach. At the time, there was still a stigma around coaching. The common perception was that there were only two versions: executive coaching for the uber high-level or woo-woo life coaching for the LA-based.
I wasn't up for either. But educating people on how to navigate their careers? I knew I wanted to do that.
It took working with my own career coach to get that clarity. Don't be afraid to get help figuring this out.
Step Five: Execute Your Search Strategically
Job searching isn't about sending out 100 resumes into the void. It's about strategic, targeted outreach combined with visibility.
Your strategy should include:
Targeted applications: Apply to roles you actually want at companies you've researched. Customize each application to show why you specifically fit that specific role.
Network outreach: Reach out to people in your network, former colleagues, and new connections. Let them know what you're looking for. Ask for informational interviews. Most jobs are filled through connections, not job boards.
Recruiter relationships: Connect with recruiters in your field. They have access to opportunities you don't. Build relationships with them, not just transactional interactions.
Skill building: If you have time, take courses or get certifications in areas where you have gaps. Show you're actively growing, not just searching.
Side work: If financially necessary and you have bandwidth, take on freelance or contract work. It keeps money flowing and your skills sharp while you search for the right full-time role.
Step Six: Don't Settle Too Quickly (But Also Don't Hold Out for Perfect)
This is the hardest balance to strike. You need income. You need stability. But you also don't want to jump into another job you'll hate just because it's there.
Here's my advice: know your non-negotiables versus your nice-to-haves. Be flexible on the nice-to-haves. Don't compromise on the non-negotiables unless you absolutely have to for financial survival.
And if you do have to take a survival job to pay bills while you keep searching for the right fit? That's okay. That's not failure. That's being smart and strategic.
I took several jobs I knew I would hate while trying to keep teaching viable. I thought of them as day jobs. Looking back, I wasted two years. But I learned what I didn't want, which eventually helped me figure out what I did want.
What I Know Now That I Wish I'd Known Then
After going through this twice—leaving teaching and later transitioning from recruiting into full-time coaching—here's what I wish someone had told me:
Job loss is not a referendum on your worth. Whether you were laid off, fired, or forced out by circumstances, it doesn't mean you're not talented, valuable, or capable. It means circumstances changed.
Grief is part of the process. Don't rush past it, but also don't get stuck in it. Set boundaries around your grieving period, then get moving.
This is actually an opportunity. I know that sounds like toxic positivity when you're panicking about rent. But it's true. Most people never get the chance to reset and redesign their career path. You have that chance now.
You don't have to figure it out alone. Use career coaches, recruiters, your network, anyone who can help you get clarity and opportunity. I tried to do it alone for too long. Getting help accelerated everything.
The path isn't linear. My path went: professor → various miserable marketing jobs → recruiting → coaching. It wasn't a straight line. Yours won't be either. That's normal.
Your next job doesn't have to be your forever job. Just because you're unemployed now doesn't mean you have to find your perfect, forever career immediately. Find something good that moves you forward. You can always pivot later.
You're Going to Be Okay
Job loss is terrifying. I know. I've been there, grieving a career I loved, panicking about money, questioning my identity and worth.
But you know what? I'm on the other side now, doing work I love that I never would have found if I hadn't lost that teaching job. I help people navigate exactly what I went through. And I can't imagine doing anything else.
Your next chapter is out there. You just have to get honest with yourself, give yourself permission to grieve and then move forward, and be strategic about what you're building next.
Take your day or two to grieve and breathe. Then start defining your next steps. Design where you want to be, who you want to be, and what you want to be.
This is your chance. Don't waste it by just letting the next thing happen to you.
Yours in you're going to land somewhere even better goodness,
EBS
