Let’s tackle something upfront: there is no magic answer.
Got it? Good. Now you can explore your career and find your thing.
I know you want there to be a magic answer out there, the one that you just haven’t discovered yet. The answer that someone will just shoot you an email with, naming the exact job you should be doing that will make you wildly happy. The one and only answer that exists if you turn over enough career quizzes.
That magic answer is non-existent.
BUT that is great news. Because…. Now you can do anything!
You’re not tied down to that one singular (fictitious) thing. You will have to explore your career. You will have to come to conclusions on your own. But man oh man, when you find your Thing? It’s going to feel so good. So…. yours.
When I work with a new client I start by asking them what work have they done to find their thing and how have they done it.
Some say they’ve read a few self-help books, maybe taken a personality test that told them they were a scrabble word jumble worth of letters (INFJIDGAF), or that they tried journaling or meditation but that nothing has really worked.
A few (yes more than one) has said something along the lines of :
“I've been thinking of going away to some retreat in Costa Rica or do an Eat Pray Love trip haha.”
Hahaha…. Hahaha….. NO.
I don’t buy into this "spend all your money on a destination trip is the only way to ‘find yourself’" trope. You don't have to (and really shouldn’t) travel to have an ‘experience’ that allows you to finally figure your stuff out.
It’s a dangerous idea actually.
Why? Well, you’re still taking that self on that trip with you, right? Wherever you go there you, and your current, limiting beliefs are.
Ok, I’m about to get real coachy here: You need to address those Limiting Beliefs ASAP.
‘Cool’ you might be saying to yourself. Wait, what? What the hell are "limiting beliefs"?
Limiting beliefs are things you believe to be true about your situation/yourself/the world at large that limits your actions in some way. They are big time mindset issues.
One of the biggest mindset issues that clients come to me with is this idea of: “Even if I figure out what I want to do nobody will want to hire me, so why try?”
It breaks my heart every time I hear this because I know they're wrong, but I also know how real that feeling feels. The problem is, when you are looking for a new career you are doing it because you've become a disheartened and unhappy or you've lost your confidence or for other reasons that have knocked you down in the self-esteem arena.
BASICALLY, YOU’VE FORGOTTEN THAT YOU'RE AWESOME.
I live in a really urban environment in San Francisco and parking is nigh impossible. When you’re driving around here looking for a parking space you become so convinced that you're never going to find one that you pass up three perfectly delicious parking spaces.
If you are convinced that no one's going to want to hire you to do what you want to do - then no one will want to hire you.
You need to take a beat and remember why you are awesome. Your inherent skills, your expertise, what it is you do that’s become second nature to you - after a while they don’t seem important. They don’t seem difficult. You have the power to ease some future employer’s major headache with the things you feel aren’t difficult and that you enjoy!
These are actually the most important things, you've just started to see them as unimportant because they're easy for you - which is amazing.
Well then WTF are you supposed to do then? I mean, gobbling pasta in Italy and bonking hot strangers in Bali doesn’t sound terrible, but it ain’t going to help you find a career that makes you happy. Not really.
That’s all you and your mindset.
I’m a BIG believer in the idea that you can’t move forward until you you really acknowledge where you are right now. This can take some major balls of honesty which is difficult for lots of us, because we are SUPER great at lying to ourselves.
Okaaayyy so how can you tackle this spiffy new problem you didn’t know you had? How do you identify and deal with your limiting beliefs?:
Step 1. Ask yourself “What are my limiting beliefs about my work?”
Step 2. Question your answers.
Step 3. Flip them and then rewrite them.
For example:
Belief: "I can’t do anything but the bartending I’ve been doing because I’m not trained in anything else."
Question: Why is not being trained in anything else yet so bad?
Flip: I’m totally open and available to choose new skills to learn!
Or
Belief: "I can’t leave my banking job to wait tables because my college friends will look down on me."
Question: Does it matter what those guys miserable at their 9-5’s think?
Flip: A restaurant job will allow me the freedom to take that 2 month trip to Southeast Asia I’ve been dreaming about since college.
See how this works? Grab some time, a thing you like to write on or in, maybe an adult beverage and get to it! Write it all out so that you can actually SEE them in black and white.
Once you flip those beliefs, take 3 steps back and take a look to understand why people will absolutely want to hire you:
Own your expertise.
You need to take a look and analyze (however you want to do it, make a collage make a Venn diagram, make a flowchart…) the things that are so second nature to you you could do them in your sleep. What are those things? That’s your expertise. Know what your expertise is and own it.
2. Recognize your skills.
Your expertise is the bigger general-responsibilities knowledge, skills are those real specific tasks.
Maybe it’s management training techniques, or a certain graphic design software, whatever it may be, recognize your skills. These are very tactical, yet sometimes soft skills like communication. Write them all down - especially the ones that are second nature to you now because you had to learn them at some point. I'm assuming you didn't wake up at 10 years old and know how to use you know the entire Adobe suite of software. You had to acquire those skills somewhere along the way.
3. Honor what makes you unique.
I don’t mean this in the “We’re all special snowflakes” kind of way, but what makes you unique in a work setting.
What makes you, you? They don't need to know that you keep pet snails and make little hats for them for their birthday parties. I mean I guess that makes you unique, but is that going to help me in a corporate setting? Probably not. But what makes you, you?
Do you have a great, easy manner with people? Are you a great communicator? Are you a good listener? Are you a great mentor? Are you a quick learner? Do you understand the concepts that other people just can't get?
4. What makes you unique?
From what truly makes you experienced in a work setting, to recognizing your skills and honoring what makes you, you - hopefully when you take a look at all these things you'll realize Yeah! I AM awesome and that of course someone's going to want to hire you to do Your Thing!
So, just take an hour to do this exercise, remind yourself that you're awesome so that you can get to work finding your thing - the thing you really, really, really, want to do - and deserve to do because you are awesome.
Like I said. This is work - but it really is fun. Once you stop looking for the lighting bolt, magic wand, love at first sight answer - the journey becomes more meaningful, more fun and more long lasting.
It’s like learning to read. You have to start with learning the alphabet - in this case you have to learn what it is you want (and that you deserve to do what you want).
Yours in mindset goodness-
EBS
P.S. You can get started on the right answer, for you, risk-free, right here.
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